Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Drumroll, Please... Why I Never Called Back After Wonderful Date



Most of you know that I have been posting interviews on the subject of men not calling women back after a wonderful first date. I can honestly say that I've contributed to this monstrosity. Ladies, before you go throwing tomatoes at me, let me explain.

When I was about 17 (young, fresh and stupid) I went out on a date with Charlene Brady. I thought she was the finest thing since sliced bread. Of course, I thought her to be miles and miles away from my social caste and decided that I wouldn't pursue her at first.

During our first encounters, we never spoke to one another. We would throw a polite smile at one another during school, but that's about it. Over time the word got out that I liked her and she found out, liked me and decided to ask ME out. The only problem was by the time she wanted to go out I was over the whole girly-made-up look and onto Kiesha Paine, who was more down to earth, showing natural beauty.

Be it me not to disappoint, I agreed to go out on the date so she wouldn't feel less attractive. We had the best time of our lives, it seemed. We laughed, talked, played and flirted from time to time. Out of habit, and natural friendliness, I told her I'd give her a call. When I got home, I realized that we were from totally different sides of the tracks. In school she would be miss high prissy face and I would remain the sexy, not-so-popular TJS (Terry J. Snipes). I never called back. Now, ladies what do you have to comment on? (I will brace myself)

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Why Men Don't Call Back After A Wonderful Date- Part 4


We've approached the very last interview in this series. I apologize for the tension that surrounds this last interview. I do not like when people try and throw ass backwards psychology at me in order to justify something that only needs the truth said. If I ask you, "Did you drink my pop?" And you say, "Have you ever drank someone's juice because you didn't know it was theirs?" Then that leaves you open for whip lashes from my tongue. But I am very excited that the young man participated in this very last interview.

Below, I have posted the fourth and last interview:

Jason Jones is a 43 year old construction worker. I give him lots of thanks for taking the time out of his busy schedule to participate in this interview.

Guru Reporter- Hey, J.J.

Jason Jones- Hey, Terry.

GR- You are the very last interview that I am conducting on this subject. So, to a certain extent, you are the most important interview.

JJ- I wouldn't say all that. But we are going to have to speed things along.

GR- I understand. So why don't you call women back when you say you will?

JJ- You don't waste any time do you?

GR- We're losing time with you answering my questions with a question, homie. So why don't you just answer the question, please. (laugh)

JJ- Well, I don't call them because I don't like them. There is no other reason why I wouldn't call a girl back unless I didn't like her.

GR- Why tell them that you will call them back when you know you have no plans on calling them back?

JJ- I just tell them what they want to hear. Come on now, I'd hate to tell them that on the date and have them trippin' on me.

GR- That still doesn't explain why your ass lies. Why not be a man and just tell the truth?

JJ- What's the difference between truth and a lie?

GR- One isn't true.

JJ- Exactly. What's the difference between hiding the truth and a lie?

GR- There is no difference. It's the same thing.

JJ- Exactly. How many people do you know hide the truth? When a chick knows she wants to look for her future husband yet she lies and says she isn't looking for anything too serious, she lied. So why aren't we going crazy on those girls and saying that they lied?

GR- You can't fool me with that fake ass, backwards psychology. You lied and that's the whole damn point of this interview. You are on the stand right now. You are being judged, not females who feel like they have to reserve their feelings so a man wont run away.

JJ- You're taking their side! No! (laugh)

GR- It's not about sides, Jason. The whole point of the interview is asking why YOU don't call women back after you say you will. Meaning: why do you lie?

JJ- Well...

GR- Don't think of a lie! (laugh)

JJ- (laugh) Don't be actin' like you know me.

GR- When people show you who they are... believe them. You've showed me you're a lying, fake psychologist.

JJ- It's like that, Terry?

GR- It's however you think it is. I might be a kind guy, but I don't accept BS when it comes to my interviews. Don't think you can pull the wool over my eyes.

JJ- Okay. I do lie. It's only because I like to see a woman happy and all over me. When I leave at the end of the date I know good and damn well I wont be calling her ass back. But I like that I made her happy at least for a night.

GR- And little do you know you've made her life harder wondering if you'll call.

JJ- That's a woman's problem. Don't think too hard about it. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't happen, it doesn't.

GR- You do have a point there, sir.

JJ- You damn right.

GR- Thanks for participating in this interview. I'll let you get back to making your money.

I would like to thank Jason for participating in this interview. He was a very good sport. I must admit, I did kinda' tongue-lash him because he rushed our interview before it even started and then tried to use some twisted psychology on me. But I hope all of my readers and newcomers have learned a little from these interviews. Feel free to comment on the others if you'd like.

*If you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at lrl.advice@hotmail.com . I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on LRL.com!

Check out the other posts:

Why Men Don't Call Back After A Wonderful Date- Part 3

Why Men Don't Call Back After A Wonderful Date- Part 2

Why Men Don't Call Back After A Wonderful Date- Part 1

Monday, October 23, 2006

Is Pity Sometimes A Ploy for Self Worth?

Ladies and gentlemen, I must admit, for a period of time I couldn’t stop putting up those damned numbered post. You know what I’m talking about:

10 Ways to Get Rid of Crabs:

1. Stop having sex
2. Eat more spaghetti

You get where I’m going with this. I have not written a post that explained my opinions and, sometimes, sensitive feelings. Where does this post plan on taking my faithful and newcomer readers? I have not a damn clue. I just figured it was time for me to vent somewhat and give you love/relationship seekers a piece of me. A deep, dark, nasty piece of me… Wait, that sounds kinda porn-ish. Please, continue reading.

Today I thought about my ex. She was the first woman who I ever loved and I sometimes find it hard to forget about her. Don’t get it twisted, we broke up for a reason, that reason is justified and I have no regrets. Yet, I think about her all of the time. She has gone through a lot of BS with her baby’s daddy. I can’t get into what happened, but if she didn’t know how to fight before she met his ass, she does now.

My question (and you guys know I almost always ask a question in my posts) is: Does everyone think about their ex’s just once months after the relationship ties have been severed? And when your new “friend” is in the picture, do you think it would hurt them because you thought about your “old” friend? Well, ladies and gentlemen, I asked my new friend.

“C**, how would you feel if I told you that I’ve been thinking about “*e** lately?” My girl looked me in the face and said, “as long as you don’t kiss, screw or perform falettio on the bitch, I’m cool.” What a girl. Huh? I went on to tell her that it’s not a sexual or even romantic thinking I’m going through in regards to her (my ex), it’s a fear factor. My ex and I planned so many great things in our future and now it seems as if she has accomplished being a mother with ADD instead of a na├»ve teenager with ADD. Is it safe to say that I pity her sometimes? To me that seems as if I pity her because consciously I believe I’m doing better. STOP! Wait! HOLD UP! I never want to come across as cocky, arrogant, conceited or filled with vanity, but it seems like that’s what this situation is leading to.

End Question: How can you think about your ex with fear and sadness with out having pity on them? And if you do have pity on them, does that make you an assuming, GREATER THAN THOU prick?

*If you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at lrl.advice@hotmail.com . I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on LRL.com!

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Introduction of TD.GAD.AY!

TD.GAD.AY was established some few months ago. My professional presentiment tells me that I should have remembered the exact date, but no one really gives a damn about that sort of stuff.

You’ll ask yourself: what does TD.GAD.AY stand for?

Well, when its discreditable acronym is broken down, it stands for

  • T hey
  • D on't
  • G ive
  • .
  • A
  • D amn
  • .
  • A bout
  • Y ou

The logic of it might seem harsh in the beginning, but take a few breaths, dry your eyes and wake up to the reality of the REAL WORLD. No, it’s not me being overly cynical (Trust! I’ve seen some cynical ass people), but rather realistic.

Cynical Comment: That man is full of shit. I don’t know him, and I’ve heard anything about him, or spoken to him, but he’s full of shit.

Realistic Comment: That guy’s breath smells like open camel mouth with melted cheese inside of it.

Try to apply this doctrine to your life. Say it with me, Gadies and Lentlemen…

TD.GAD.AY!

E-mail Advice- "my husband magic stick is killing me"


Dear

My boyfriend is well endowed. How do I tell him that our lovemaking is killing me?

Sore Lady
---------------------------------------------------

Sore Lady,

You are going to have to come to a conclusion. You must tell me, did you know his penis killed you before you guys started dating or after? Because if you knew his pipe was ripping your walls why did you still fake the orgasms and pleasure. Now you know his ass is proud because most guys want large "tools" and those who have them (large blessings) feel like royalty. If he's a good guy he'll try and come up with some type of alternatives. But if he's like most sexually blessed men, he'll give you an ultimatum. "I know lot's of women who wants this," he'll say. You look him in the face and say, "I don't."

Sore Lady, did you know that if his penis is too much for you and it causes you that much pain, could cause you severe damage and prevent you from having children? Most importantly, if you are not being sexually satisfied while doing it, he is the only one receiving any pleasure and that's not fair, is it?

Sit him down and talk to him about what the problem is and BOTH OF YOU need to come up with a way to fix it. If he says he has to penetrate you then you have to move on. I love my girlfriend enough to just practice falletio if she said my "love stick" was too much for her. In fact, an incident like that happened a while back with one of my girlfriends and I told her I'd lay off and we could try something else. Turns out the something else wasn't as good and she felt the same way. In the end, if the sexual attraction isn't there, one of you will stray. Be honest or leave. Good luck, Sore Lady! LOL

*If you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at lrl.advice@hotmail.com . I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on LRL.com!

What Do You Do When He/She Is Cheatin? Get Out!


What do you do when you find out that your best friend has not only screwed your boyfriend, but she has also made plans to marry him in the near future? Of course, you know what you don't do. You don't point a gun at your boyfriend's head and pull the trigger, causing him to lay comatose for three months and then shoot your best friend in the vagina. No, you make sure the crap never happens again. But some people might say, "Terry, you can never stop a man or woman from cheating. If they want someone else they will find someone else." Well, there are always signs to look out for.

Women


  • If your boyfriend never ever wants to share with you who his friends are, chances are he's cheating.

  • If your boyfriend becomes overly hysterical when you pick up his phone, he's cheating.
  • In some cases, if your boyfriend constantly accuses you of cheating then he is guilty himself and is cheating. He does this to throw attention off of himself and make you feel guilty so that you'll, in turn, drop the subject all together.

  • If your boyfriend never comes over until the morning or very late at night, chances are, he's cheating. There are some exceptions to these rules. You will read them in a future post titled Exceptions To The Cheating Signs.

  • If your man has been dating your for over 2 years and you still don't own a key to his apartment, you are being played, ladies.

Men

  • If your woman is extra nice to you even though you are treating her like shit, trust me, you're being cheated on.

Please remember to always get proof. Above all, ask your mate if she/he is cheating or not. You would want your mate to give you the benefit of the doubt before declaring you a cheater. Who knows, maybe your mate isn't cheating and this very post caused you to become more paranoid than usual.

*If you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at lrl.advice@hotmail.com . I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on LRL.com!

    Wednesday, October 18, 2006

    Why Men Don't Call Back After A Wonderful Date- Part 3


    Why don’t men call women back after a "great" first date? Well, ladies and gentlemen, I feel as though I’m on to something new. During an afternoon meal (not quiet breakfast, not even brunch but I got my eat on) with a high school buddy of mine, I bumped into a couple of females who actually paid me, from time to time, for my dating advice back in high school.

    One of the women looked me in the eyes, and instead of saying hi, she said, "This guy I was with last night never called me back. What the hell did I do wrong? It was a perfect date."

    Unfortunately, I couldn't answer her question on the spot. Instead I referred her to my posts on usavoice.com and advised her to pay close attention to the answers given. I told her my plans of interviewing four different men who have, in some way, shape, or form blew a "perfect" possible relationship due to avoiding the follow-up phone call. Each man will be different, and in turn will give different answers as well as scarily similar answers.

    Below, I have posted the third interview:

    Marvin, a 34 year old divorced songwriter makes a living writing songs that appears on local's albums. Though he hasn't made his first million dollars, he makes enough to get by... comfortably. He writes lots of lyrics about love and wanted it. Could this all by a ploy to woo a young ladies heart only to sell records and KA-CHING! (cash in)?

    Guru Reporter- Wassup, homie? (laughs)

    Marvin- Nothing, homie skins. (laughs)

    GR- I understand you were writing a song for a new artist coming to town named Mike Black. Is that correct?

    M- Yeah, that's right.

    GR- You let me read some of the lyrics and you wrote:

    "I'll never let you down/ though sometimes you call and I'm not around/ I'll be there soon/ So we can get down"

    M- That's my stuff.

    GR- This pretty much says, "you might want to call me and talk and I might not come around until I want to hit the skins-"

    M- No, no, no. It means that sometimes she'll call and I'll be busy, but I'll always make time for her. And when I do make plans for her I might want to make her feel good.

    GR- That's a load of BS. I can't believe you expect a woman to look at it in that light.

    M- Trust me, homie, they do.

    GR- Well... I guess you've got that one, huh?

    M- You know I stole it! (laughs)

    GR- Now, the big question is: Do you call women back when you say you will after the first date?

    M- Some I do, some I don't. It all depends.

    GR- On what? How she looks? What she's said?

    M- It depends on how I'm feeling at the time. If I'm on a date with an Asian woman and I feel like Jamaica, I won't call her back.

    GR- But you do make it a point to tell her you'll call even though you don't plan on doing so, correct?

    M- You're making me seem like a monster, Terry!

    GR- I'm making you seem like a liar. And you are. Truth be told, you lie to these females and never plan on calling them back again.

    M- Some I'll call back and some I wont. Like I said, it all-

    GR- Yes, it all depends on what Marvin wants at that time. And your ass would be balling on the floor crying and writing sad love songs if a woman did that same shit to you.

    M- You damn right. But the important thing to remember is, they don't.

    GR- So, your decision to not call back is solely based on what type of female you want at the time?

    M- Yup.

    GR- And if you know what type of female you want at the time, why go out on the damn date in the first place?

    M- I need something to write about in my songs, don't I?

    GR- You sneaky little dog. (laughs)

    I would like to thank Marvin for participating in this interview. He was a very good sport. I eagerly await the answers I'll receive from the last man. A new interview will be posted next Wednesday.

    *If you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at lrl.advice@hotmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on Love, Relationships and Life!

    Check Out the Related Posts:

    Why Men Don't Call Back After A Wonderful Date Part 1

    Why Men Don't Call Back After A Wonderful Date Part 2

    Sunday, October 15, 2006

    E-mail Advice- "Not a homo"

    Dear Snipes,

    I understand that subjects of a gay matter are hard for you to respond to. If a person doesn't understand the gay lifestyle it's hard to comment on it, right? My boyfriend only calls me when it comes to nasty sex sessions. I am not fully into sex with another man yet. I don't know if I like that faggoty bullshit. My question is why are men only interested in sex? Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

    NOT A FUCKING HOMO


    --------------------------------------------------

    HOMO (sexual),

    Your signature really disturbed me. I am one who believes that if you are what you are, except it. You writing down NOT A HOMO didn't make me respect you more or less. It made me feel as though you really are very homosexual and are struggling to admit to yourself. You've completely offended any other homosexual who might read this advice. They will feel like you deserted them.

    As far as your question, I'd say that men wanting sex more than women is malarkey. This is an anonymous post I read a few weeks back and decided to save just in case a subject like this one popped up:

    "I like to get laid like the rest of them, however, I am more likely to hook up with a girl than a guy - with a guy I generally look for more of a relationship first. It's kind of a whole penetration=access=intimacy=control thing. Security vs fear... so no, I get horny a lot, daily i will get aroused by the way I cross my legs, a little breeze up my skirt, an accidental brush in the hall past a really hot guy or girl I might have a crush on... you name it.

    Daily, twice daily, sometimes more, and that doesn't count the two or three or more times a week I masturbate. Lots of women won't admit to it, because we're supposed to be some sort of perfect little fucking angels or something, but we like getting laid when the sex is good just as much as a guy likes getting laid when the sex is good."


    The woman's identity cannot be disclosed, but it shows right there that at least one woman admits to thinking about sex constantly, and even masturbating regularly. HOMO, I believe it's a sexist stereotype that men desire sex more than women. Women desire sex just as much as men do. Most probably won't admit to it because of the thoughts society puts in their heads, like only demure women are real women. Truth be told, Adam didn't rape Eve. She wanted it as well. Most women have times of the month that stop them (if they are not nasty) from having sex. A woman could want to have sex very badly and if the guy's breath stinks, it could turn her off instantly. Men will put a brown paper bag over a women's head and imagine Eva Longoria in her place. So, when it comes to your sexual orientation, which we've established is, in fact, gay; I want you to understand that sex is not important, whether you are heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, transsexual, transgender or whatever! With the number of STDs running ramped and the AIDS epidemic wiping out whole countries, I think it's best to worry about life goals, love, monogamy and discovery of whatever God you serve. Until the next post, much love, peace, and empathy.

    *As always, if you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at terry.snipes@usavoice.org. I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on Usavoice.org!

    Thursday, October 12, 2006

    E-mail Follow-Up- "My husband wants to kill me"


    This is a follow-up from a woman who sent a very interesting message to me a while back. I thank her so much for sharing this information, even though I made her seem like the biggest fool (which is not what I was trying to do). You can view her first post at Nancy's First Post

    Mr. Snipes,

    Though I found you advice very informative, the tone in which you spoke to me was totally...true. I seemed like a pathetic fool. I was a dog chasing it's tail. I am so happy that you told me what you did. Do you know that I'd spent 300 bucks to go to a seminar where the women threw these un-encouraging affirmations at us. I came out with absolutely no clarity. After reading your answer I must admit that I was upset. I thought you tried to embarrass me in your article. Yet after reading your article again three days later I knew it was the truth. I told Thomas to get lost and never speak to me again. What's so amazing is lots of guys are coming on to me. I feel about 13 years younger. I wanted to send this e-mail to tell women that you can do anything if you set your mind to it. I, of course, thank Mr. Snipes for giving me his blunt and honest opinion, but it takes women to do the work. There are no psychics, seminars or programs to buy in order to put life's mirror three inches from your face and see yourself. Have the courage, ladies.

    Oh and Mr. Snipes, I don't know if it's possible, but could I have your mailing address to send you a present? If you feel uncomfortable with that I totally understand. And thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to read my e-mails. I know you must be swamped with them.

    Nancy

    -----------------------------------------------------

    Nancy,

    I do apologize for my blunt tone. I never apologize for being myself, but there is a time and a place for hard-core bluntness.

    Any who, I'd like to address the e-mail topic first. I am not swamped with e-mails. I wish more people who send them in. I get about 5 in a good week. Trust me, the more people who share their voice the better. Usavoice.com encourages people to write comments and interact with the reporters. This is the news that we need.

    As far as you getting away from Thomas, THANK GOODNESS! He can take his 50% and get the bologna outta' your face. You were kinda' getting weak for a second. When I read the e-mail, I thought to myself, "Why the hell is she so damn naive?" Then you totally proved to yourself that you love...YOU. Please, keep in touch, Nancy.

    Oh, and congratulations of knocking the guys off of you, you beautiful, sexy, emancipated soul.

    *As always, if you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at lrl.advice@hotmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on LRL.com!

    My Damn Everything

    You smile and penetrate my retinas with browns, silvers, gold's and bronzes
    Then, I open my eyes
    Through those windows my soul is touched

    You are light and life
    You are a fiery auburn on a fall evening

    You touch me and my heart stops beating
    I've died in your arms momentarily
    In your gates I am safe

    You are the fire in my soul
    You are the cool breeze on a sunny summer afternoon

    You speak to me and sing melodies of empathy, benevolence and honesty
    Forever escapes your cadence
    Through your music I live

    You are the wind that carries my dreams asunder
    You are the soft touch of snow sinking to a bed of flakes in winter

    I smell your scent, undefined by any mere mortal
    A sweet yet spicy smell like lavender on top of Irish Spring Soap
    Through you smell I dream

    You are the eyes in which I vicariously see
    You are the growth of my spirit like flowers in the spring

    Its seems as though you're my everything...

    *As always, if you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at lrl.advice@hotmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on LRL.com!

    15 Tips For A Date... Men, This One's For You


    This post is for the men, as requested. Ladies, never hesitate to listen in. In fact, I encourage you to do so.

    Gentlemen

    Once that crush of yours finally agrees to be seen out in public with you, it might be left all up to you to arrange when and where to go for your date. Try applying these tips and make yourself look calm and cool (really, inside you are overly prepared and nervous...but we wouldn't want you to mention that, would we?).

    1. Don't wait too long to have the date. Waiting to be fit into her schedule will have your ass more anxious, and impatient than you already are. I suggest having the date no more than 3 days after you've asked her.

    2. Decide on a relaxed venue that most people will like which is adaptable to the situation. You don't want a place too fun that you guys don't pay attention to each other. Yet you don't want a spot that is so void of anything to do that you both feel uncomfortable.

    3. Ensure the location is in an easy to reach location for all kinds of transport and is one that is especially convenient for the lady on this first occasion.

    4. Lunchtime, I believe, is the best time to have a first date. At dinner time, things might seem rushed, especially if the date stretches beyond her sleeping time.

    5. You don't want to be overly complex or formal on the first freakin' date. Allow things to flow so that the occasion doesn't get too out of hand the first time around. Being prepared beforehand is the greatest way to avoid concentrating on the food and why her shoes look to small and her feet look so big. You want to focus on HER.

    6. Ensure you put effort into your style, dress and presentation and make an effort. Informality does not mean scruffy.

    7. Leave your apartment clean and tidy and presentable because you really never know what may happen later. You never know, this may be the start of something incredible so be prepared. Though I am somewhat "old school." I believe that you should be prepared in case she wants a quick romp in the bed.

    8. Don't try and impress by wealth. Selecting the most exclusive restaurant and insisting on flashing a Platinum credit card doesn't show you in the best light. Trust me, gentlemen, women can and WILL look past that after so many times (within that night).

    9. By the end of the first bottle of wine you may end up smashed so keep things steady in advance. Please, don't call yourself getting a little boozed up to calm your nerves before the date.

    10. Don't forget who you are dating. I'm not telling you to study everything the woman said over the phone beforehand, but do look up on Celine Dion if she said she likes that particular singer. You might not like her yourself, but at least you can say, "the woman who sung that Titanic song? Of yeah, she did a 3 year performance in Vegas, right? Yeah, yeah... I don't like her."

    11. Give yourself time before arriving for your date. Make sure you have enough time to prepare yourself and get yourself into the right frame of mind if you need to. The worse thing for a man to do is be late. Trust me, I've had this problem plenty of times. If you arrive later than your date (some arrive a few minutes later on purpose) she will throw you a look like, "I'm the fashionably late queen. You ass should be the anxiously waiting dude."

    12. Be organized. Remember your wallet and know where you are meeting. Struggling with directions in the rain will do nothing to assist the occasion. Trust me.

    13. Did I say this before. Oh, wait, let me announce it again: Don't be late !

    14. Don't ring your date consistently after the date is over. If she doesn't pick up the phone right away, assume she had things to do before she decided to call you.

    15. The most important one of all. If you are interested in the woman, please, call her back WHEN YOU SAY YOU ARE!

    *As always, if you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at lrl.advice@hotmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on Usavoice.org!

    10 Ways NOT TO Break Up With Your Mate


    There are many things that men and women do in order to free themselves of unwanted love. Some people will lie, some will cheat and some will outright divorce their unwanted loves. I have enclosed 10 ways NOT to separate from your significant other. These are real events of people who have done these things:

    1. DO NOT purposely set out to have your girlfriend catch you in bed with another man so that she will separate from you. It takes less effort and heartbreak to just tell her that you don’t want to be in a relationship anymore. Tell her that you’d rather get pumped from behind or shove a piece of meat in between your top and bottom teeth.

    2. DO NOT set out to have your best friend "lend" your husband the money for your anniversary ring only to have the info slip out during a family dinner, your best friend urging your husband to pay them back. If you want a divorce, please try to tell him before your anniversary comes up!

    3. DO NOT constantly accuse you’re your girlfriend of cheating on you because you feel she’s on to you and your Motel 6 hookers.

    4. DO NOT check your boyfriend’s cell phone, wallets, pockets, shoes, hair, closets, face bowls, cars, trucks, shirt pockets and any other crevices in order to prove he’s cheating. If you don’t trust him that bad you should just leave him!

    5. DO NOT cheat on your mate in order to "comfortably" leave him/her.

    6. DO NOT ask your friends for their advice on how to leave your mate. Unless you truly trust them and they are honest people, they will steer you in the wrong direction. Trust me.

    7. DO NOT try and meet someone off of the Internet who you think could eventually replace your mate. They might end up being a 13 year old boy/girl.

    8. DO NOT tell your boyfriend that you have had sex with your brother countless times and you might end up having sex with him again seeing as how you are very sexually attracted to him. Your boyfriend might just tell your family about your little white lie and you could end up being embarrassed in front of the entire family.

    9. DO NOT write your mate an e-mail telling him/her that you are planning on leaving them. An e-mail is just as tacky as them finding out through the grapevine of gossipers eager to spread your business.

    10. DO NOT pay random strangers to follow your girlfriend to a party and slip her a mickey, practically rape her, and find a way to arrive in the room in the morning while she is butt naked with the guy. Because she was slipped some drugs, she doesn’t remember if she initiated anything or if she was raped. I know this one will make lots of people angry. When the young woman told me about his I was hurt. What does it take for guys to have the balls to tell women what the real is?

    Pay close attention to these things and try to avoid them. There is nothing worse than breaking someone’s heart, but when you embarrass them by breaking up with them in a shameful fashion then that makes thing even worse. I can certainly say that it’s best to just be real and tell the person you do not want to be in a relationship with anymore that you are ready to end everything. That is the best way to go.

    *As always, if you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at lrl.advice@hotmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on LRL.com!

    Wednesday, October 11, 2006

    Why Men Don't Call Back After A Wonderful Date- Part 2


    Why don’t men call women back after a "great" first date? Well, ladies and gentlemen, I feel as though I’m on to something new. During an afternoon meal (not quiet breakfast, not even brunch but I got my eat on) with a high school buddy of mine, I bumped into a couple of females who actually paid me, from time to time, for my dating advice back in high school.

    One of the women looked me in the eyes, and instead of saying hi, she said, "This guy I was with last night never called me back. What the hell did I do wrong? It was a perfect date."

    Unfortunately, I couldn't answer her question on the spot. Instead I referred her to my posts on usavoice.com and advised her to pay close attention to the answers given. I told her my plans of interviewing four different men who have, in some way, shape, or form blew a "perfect" possible relationship due to avoiding the follow-up phone call. Each man will be different, and in turn will give different answers as well as scarily similar answers.

    Below, I have posted the second interview:

    This young men is 26 years old with a Bachelor of Science degree in Chemistry. He works out religiously and makes time to call him mother at least 3 times a week and find out how she's doing. His name is Raymond Smith and some women might say, "He's a catch!"

    Guru Reporter- How are you, Raymond?

    Raymond Smith- Cool, man. I've been working like crazy. I don't understand why people go crazy over salary positions when they get worked to the bone and get the same pay.

    GR- But you get a very nice pay. (laughs)

    RS- I guess it depends on who's looking at my paychecks. And I'm proud to say, it's only me.

    GR- Speaking of being proud of only you, are you afraid to have a woman in your life who'll ask about those things?

    RS- Not really. I'm not afraid to show anything of mine. I've never really been afraid of women.

    GR- So, why didn't you call females back after a wonderful date?

    RS- (laughs) Okay, make me feel like the bad guy.

    GR- I keeps it real here at LRL.

    RS- It's not the fact that I'm afraid of women. I choose not to call them back because they don't interest me. It seems like they are only concerned with building a house, dog, kids and happy marriage.

    GR- What's wrong with that?

    RS- That's something that should be dealt with when the time approaches. Our relationship should lead into it. Let's say we are not supposed to be together forever. She'll get mad because we are not getting married and getting a condo in the Hamptons. (laughs)

    GR- So, you're showing that men do have common sense when it comes to love, relationships and life. I'm happy to say that I'm not the only one.

    RS- Because men don't rush to settle down doesn't mean they don't know what a relationship deals with.

    GR- Is that why men cheat? They know how to be in a stable relationship, but they choose not to stay.

    RS- Lot's of men don't care. If I want to sex up that girl I saw at Starbucks then I'm going to because I want to.

    GR- That's screwed up. That is such a selfish way of thinking.

    RS- Women do it all the time, they just don't do it as boldly as men.

    GR- So, what things turn you off about a woman to make you not call them back, besides them planning for forever?

    RS- I can tell when a woman is being fake. I can tell when she is trying to be coy, when she is being slightly stuck-up. I can tell these things. Women act as if men are always lying, but women have lots of skeletons in the closet.

    GR- They have graveyards, huh? (laughs)

    RS- Yes, Tee. I can't take a woman giving me seven different sides of her in ONE NIGHT! Come on, now. Maybe if she gives me these different view points within a month, maybe. But that seems kinda' bi-polar to me and that scares me as well as turns me off.

    GR- But why not tell her this after the date is up? Why tell her that you'll call her?

    RS- Men have second thoughts like women do. At first I think to myself, yeah, I'll try and work this out. Then as I get closer to home I think about how she told me she was too classy and ate shrimps and lopsters. When we get to the restaurant she eats like she hasn't eaten in years. Then she has the audacity to mistakenly admit, "I haven't had lobster/shrimp in years."

    GR- Thanks for the interview, Raymond. This was a very enlightening interview.

    RS- I hope we schooled the females a little on what men do and how we feel. We all aren't dogs.

    GR- Amen for that.

    I would like to thank Raymond for participating in this interview. He was a very good sport. I eagerly await the answers I'll receive from the other men. A new interview will be posted ever Wednesday.

    *If you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at lrl.advice@hotmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on Love, Relationships and Life!

    Thursday, October 05, 2006

    Why Men Don't Call Back After A Wonderful Date- Part 1


    Why don’t men call women back after a "great" first date? Well, ladies and gentlemen, I feel as though I’m on to something new. During an afternoon meal (not quiet breakfast, not even brunch but I got my eat on) with a high school buddy of mine, I bumped into a couple of females who actually paid me, from time to time, for my dating advice back in high school.

    One of the women looked me in the eyes, and instead of saying hi, she said, "This guy I was with last night never called me back. What the hell did I do wrong? It was a perfect date."

    Unfortunately, I couldn’t answer her question on the spot. Instead I referred her to my posts on usavoice.com and advised her to pay close attention to the answers given. I told her my plans of interviewing four different men who have, in some way, shape, or form blew a "perfect" possible relationship due to avoiding the follow-up phone call. Each man will be different, and in turn will give different answers as well as scarily simular answers.

    Below, I have posted the first interview:

    The man I am interviewing does not want his actual name to be posted on the website for personal reasons. He chose the alias, Caring.

    Guru Reporter- So, Caring, it’s great to finally have this interview with you. I know lots of women would like to know what a successful man like you would pass up on a future with a wonderful woman.

    Caring Guy- What’s up, Tee. Sorry about the anonymity, but I have lady friends and colleagues who I’d rather not see this and know it’s me.

    GR- I completely understand. My female (and some male) readers will enjoy this series a lot. Hold on… I have to turn the volume up on my microphone..

    CG- (laughs)

    GR- Okay, so let’s plunge into the interview.

    CG- Let’s go for it.

    GR- How many dates have you been on?

    CG- Oh…

    A rather long pause.

    GR- Don’t want to answer that question? Don't worry, you’re anonymous.

    CG- No, I was counting (laughs).

    GR- (laughs) I’m sorry. Count away.

    CG- I would say I’ve been on more than 50 dates.

    GR- And out of those possible 50 dates, how many women have you called back?

    CG- I’ve honestly only called about 20 of those females back.

    GR- How was the very last date- in which you never called back- that you had?

    CG- It was alright. She seemed like she was cool, except she was kinda’ stank.

    GR- What do you mean she was "stank?"

    CG- She seems really bourgeois.

    GR- Out of all the women, what things caused you to not call them back, collectively?

    CG- A lot of them moved too fast. They were almost talking about wedding dresses and churches to have the future ceremony in. I have to admit, it always scared the crap out of me.

    GR- Out of those dates, why did you call the successful ones back?

    CG- I called them back because they let me know that we were having a date. I felt as though they might not want to be with me in the next week, and I guess it made me more interested.

    GR- So, it's sort of like a challenge? You needed something to work towards, correct?

    CG- Something like that. I just wanted a girl who understood what I wanted and wanted the same thing for herself.

    GR- And what was it that you wanted?

    CG- I want a woman who is looking to start off as friends, or buddies. I want a woman who is not expecting a long term marriage after the first date. If I receive vibes that express that, then I wouldn't dare call her back!

    GR- Do you think you've ever found that "ideal" woman and passed on her for one reason or another?

    CG- I think all men have done this, by mistake, in their lives. I guess we just have to learn from them (mistakes) and make it better the next time around.

    GR- Caring, thanks for having this interview with me.

    CG- No problem. Let me know when you post the interview so i'll know what exactly what website to help my ladies avoid. (laughs)

    I would like to thank Caring Guy for participating in this interview. He was a very good sport. I eagerly await the answers I'll receive from the other men. A new interview will be posted ever Wednesday.

    *If you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at lrl.advice@hotmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on Love, Relationships and Life!