Saturday, September 30, 2006

The "Perfect" Man

On this Saturday morning a ringing phone jerked me from my wonderful slumber. I was already in a nasty mood seeing as how I stubbed my toe on the banister at 5:00 in the AM. Foot bleeding and toe burning, it took me two hours to get back to sleep. All that pain due to a five o'clock urine run.

When I picked up the phone, my friend Donna was going on and on about her date last night. I believe she started talking the moment she heard me pick up the phone. I had to stop her, "hold on, hold on. Hello and good morning to you as well." I said. She apologized and went into her problem.

She told me that she started dating this construction worker who is actually working on a street across the street from her job. They went out on a date to Zias, an Italian restaurant. Oh, she went on and on about how much of a gentleman he was. "He help my door open for me and even pulled my chair out for me when we went to dinner," she said. "After eating a wonderful dinner, we went to the waterfront and talked about religion, politics, romance, books that we love. You know, he loves action movies as much as I do. But get this: he is a softy for romance movies. He loves 'em more than I do!" she beamed over the phone. But as you all know, with all my post, there must be some type of problem that needs solving.

The Problem

The problem with this magical date was the fact that my friend has a five year old son. When he dropped Donna off after a wonderful dinner, walking around the riverfront and a talk that could put Shakespeare to share, he wanted to come in for more than R&R. After going inside of the house she realized that her son was up and told the man that he wouldn't be able to stay over due to her son being conscience. Well, the guy was still trying to guide my friend to the bedroom! After she informed him that she wouldn't do anything sexual while her son is awake and in the same house, the guy became very upset and all of a sudden turned calm and told her that he'd call her when he got home.

Guess what, folks? He never did.

So, my friend is on the phone at 7:00 in the morning, screaming about how she wouldn't want to be with anyone who will disrespect her son in such a manner, yet she thought he was a really good guy and feels like she screwed up her chance of developing a nice, new relationship.

My Answer

I told her to drop dead and to never call me that early for any BS like that again! No, I'm just joking. I told her that she is over thinking the entire situation. If the guy was so much of a gentleman, he would have stopped trying to pursue sex the moment she told him that she was uncomfortable. It doesn't matter what her son might have saw or not have seen. If she didn't want to have sex, the guy should have left it alone. For him to stop forcing the sex thought on her just because her son was around meant that he didn't care about her feelings. It means he just didn't want her son to see his pimpled ass naked.

I told Donna to brush her shoulders off and keep going. If God made that one guy who seemed fantastic, then God has a plenty more. I told her that until that nice man came around (there will never be a perfect man) her main man is her son. He is the most important one. Even after she finds a new man, her son will have to still remain her number one. And if the guy is really there for her he will make her son his number one as well.


Ladies, please don't get so desperate that you have to settle for a man who is nice, sweet and seems perfect... except he killed a few little girls back in Iowa. Or you'll find a guy who is wonderful with children, reads poetry and seems like the perfect catch... only he has two boxes filled with child pornography(?)!! It's not worth it. You can go a lifetime trying to find the "perfect" guy and meet thousands of men who don't cut it. No one is perfect and please don't settle for the guy who seems perfect except for some major flaw that you feel you can look around. I'm not against compromise, but somethings shouldn't be tolerated.

I once had a friend who was older (around the age of 72). After her divorce in 1983 she'd been spending years trying to find the perfect man. When she turned about 70 she would pray to God, asking him to bring her the perfect man. She even cried over the subject. Not soon after, she died. God had answered her prayers. He took her from this life to be with him. My point is: The only perfect man is God in heaven. Until then, maybe it's best to try and make God your perfect man and the other men are... "alright guys" on the side. Until the next post, much love, peace, and empathy.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

E-mail Follow-Up- "Cheating"

Dear Poetiq Expression,

Well you asked me to keep you posted and I am. I caught my boyfriend in the bed with another man. It was harsh and it hurt me to death. Yet it helped me move on. I am currently seeing another man who seems way better then my ex's dumb ass. I am happy. Thanks for the advice!



I am so elated that you've decided to move on. It's sad to say but you've already got other females to compete with on a daily basis, but you can't compete with a man. It can't be done. That guy was giving your bf something you'll never be able to give him. Actually, he was giving your man three things that you couldn't.

My only concern is that you are moving into a relationship too fast. Take some time to feel yourself out. What makes you happy with YOU? Look at yourself in the mirror, smile and say, "I know I look flyy." Because you do. You need to heal by yourself first. If you allow a man to enter your life too quickly, you'll end up making him pay for your ex's mistakes. He doesn't deserve that. Then you'll be writing me another e-mail advice question saying, "I'm driving me new boyfriend away. What should I do?" Let's spare ourselves the constant typing and future of receiving carpel tunnel by you keeping the dating on a maximum and the going out on a minimum. Trust me on this one, babe. As always, keep your head up. Love, peace and empathy!

*You can find Marsha's original post at the following link: Marsha's First Post. As always, if you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on!

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Sharing Yourself on Love, Relationships and Life

Yesterday I was going through all the articles and blog posts that I have written and noticed how different each stage of my blogging career has unfolded. It seems as if I went into this blogging "thing" with a need to share my views. Well, I guess after months of realizing how many people respond to this thoughts, I figured that I would start to include others in my thoughts and discussions on love, relationships and life.

I encourage anyone who has an idea or maybe a story idea to send it to In doing this you will not only be sharing your views with me, you will be sharing your views with the rest of the world. Some ideas and some e-mail posts/questions will not be published, of course. I can’t post absolutely everything. But the most inspiring, heartfelt and meaningful ones will see the light of day (or darkness on this black background) on Love, Relationships and Life!


Founded in 1993, Capella University is an accredited online university that offers graduate degree programs in business, information technology, education, human services, and psychology, and bachelor’s degree programs in business and information technology. Within those areas, Capella offers 76 graduate and undergraduate specializations and 16 certificate specializations. The online university currently serves 16,000 students from all 50 states and 63 countries. It is a national leader in online education, committed to providing high-caliber academic excellence and pursuing balanced business growth. Capella University is a wholly-owned subsidiary of Capella Education Company, headquartered in Minneapolis. For more information, please visit or call 1-888-CAPELLA (227-3552). *Capella University is accredited by The Higher Learning Commission and a member of the North Central Association of Colleges and Schools, located at 30 N. LaSalle Street, Suite 2400, Chicago, IL 60602-2504, (312) 263-0456,

Monday, September 18, 2006

Love or Compromise?

Love is in the air. Inhale and smell the fish water that seems to be falling on top of your head. Well, it's falling on my head. That's right folks. It's raining. And as I sit here in front of my computer, I long for the company of a mate. How far will this loneliness rack my brain before it culminates in lustful acts later to be regretted? Of course, like all my other articles, I'll present the topic of this article with another question:

Why do people seek love so intensely that they'll accept settling before being in love?

I'm serious. There was a guy I sparked up a conversation with on the bus a while back. The man seemed very distraught and confused. I smiled and told him that things would get better. He then said the most interesting thing to me.

"I'm just going crazy, man. I can't stand my fiancé. I mean, like, I really get sick to my stomach when I see her, that's how pissed she makes me. But I'm so in love with her. It's like, when I see other couples and all that, I get really happy that I'm with her."

Of course my lips were slightly pursed as I stared the man down. My first thought was to scream, "YOU DUMB ASSHOLE! WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?! NOTHING! BECAUSE IT MAKES NO SENSE!" But instead, I smiled and asked him to explain his logic. As you would guess, he couldn't. He just felt and never thought.

I thought, YOU'RE BSing!

He then told me that his girlfriend is very nice and sweet. She always makes it a ceremony when he comes home from work to rub his back, run his bathwater and have dinner fixed and ready. She has a love for sports, yet never tries to be one of the boys when his friends come over to watch the football game. His friends actually adore her. She is a pretty female, not ugly, or fat (very ignorant and misogynistic of me). So, what's the problem?

The Problem

He never really fell in love with her. He was comfortable. He had found a woman who practically worshiped the ground he walked on. She wouldn't mind cleaning and popping out babies until they created an entire village! She shared some of his views and had great times with him and his FRIENDS. Yet, that wasn't what he was looking for. Yes, he was impressed by her understanding of a man, but he was not impressed by her. Therefore, when marriage is thrown into the picture, he gets sick. He's angry. He thinks to himself, "I'm going to have to spend the rest of my life with someone I SETTLED FOR..."

Who's at fault? Now, ladies, I know you all too well. You'll say it's the man's fault. While he has chosen to be a relationship that is honest to his predictions, it's not honest to her's. In her mind they are a happy couple, destined to break barriers and become that O' so sought after POWER COUPLE. In reality, he will start to cheat on her in less than a year. Who's to say he has not been cheating on her all this time?

Now it's time for me to half-way sympathize with the guy. Ladies, don't slaughter me, I believe I'm going somewhere with this.

I am not saying that the guy is right in his decision. I am putting myself in his shoes to try and figure out why he feels the way he feels. Now, from my glance at him.. Let's call him Joe. At first glance, Joe seemed very dirty, smelly and overweight. No, ladies and gentlemen, it was not a clean, I'm dressed nicely type of overweight. It was a I DON'T GIVE A DAMN, I HAVE NOT WASHED MY ASS, MY BREATH STINKS AND I HATE MYSELF type of overweight.

I thought to myself, maybe he fears of never being able to have a family. Maybe he thinks he'll never have a beautiful (I never saw the woman) woman who cherishes him the way she does. Does this make his actions right? No. But can you feel what pain he's going through? I hope so.


Although Joe needs to let that woman go, he also needs therapy. She shouldn't have to marry into a lie, not knowing, or maybe finding out in the future, that he will continue to cheat on her.

Stop and think about the relationships that you are developing or have been in for a while. Did you start dating them because you were lonely and just needed someone to be with, knowing the sparks would never start flying? Or do you feel as though they treat you like a step-child? Do you sometimes wonder when they don't call for up to a day if they are out with someone else? Do they give you quick kisses, and dismiss you? You may be going through something similar to what was described above. If so, please send an e-mail to Your view or story and my advice could be posted on! Until next time. Love, peace and empathy.

Terry J. Snipes

Visit my other blogs:

Share Love

Sunday, September 17, 2006

E-mail Advice- "My husband wants to kill me"

Mr. Snipes,

I am a follower of your blogs, from lrl to your myspace blog. I love the things you speak about and the way you say them. I sent you an -email question to lrl.advice but you didn't post it. I figured it was because so many people send you questions. So I decided to send one here in the hopes of it getting answered. My husband and I are getting a divorce. I am a legal secretary for a law firm downtown. My husband is a file clerk for one of the local plants in town. The court plans on making me split everything with him. I was the bread winner and I feel it wrong that he gets half of what I worked my ass off to get independently. The other day he called me up and told me that he hopes I die. Today the judge announced that he will not give my husband half of my money but he will give him 10% of what I own. When I got home there was a voice mail for me. It was from my husband. He told me that he was sick and tired of us fighting and realized that it would take too mcuh out of use emotionally and mentally to keep up with the separation. He told me that our daughter was crying everyday and he wants to come home so we can work things out. What should I do?




What can I say, chica, except he's trying to play you for the fool you're portraying? I hate to say it bluntly like that but he wants what ya' got and he knows you're naive enough to give it to him.

Do you realize that the judge's decision to only allow him 10% of your money instead of 50% caused him to call you saying he wants to come back to you? Just the day before the "verdict" he was saying that he wished death upon you. Why would you even consider going back into a relationship like that? I understand you love your child and you don't want to see her go through this. But keep in mind you guys have been fighting and separating already. Image the damage you two will do to her if you get back together and everyday leads to fights and you leaving, coming back, leaving, coming back. Sometimes you have to know when to let it go. Your daughter will get over it. She has no choice. Depending on why you decided to divorce him (or him divorcing you), you had no choice as well.

I look at companions and friends as a tree. Those backstabbing friends that only were meant to be in your life for a minute are the leaves. They sway in the wind and eventually fall off and fly away. You can't trust them to be there forever. You have some branches, or people who seem sturdy but in a bad storm can break off as well. Then you have those roots. These are the friends, family and lover that you want. A root is always there. It supports that tree. It can stretch miles away from the base of the tree in order to sustain it's (the tree's) life. Your husband is a branch. He served his purpose in helping you create a wonderful child. Now it's done.

Please, don't get hurt again. So many people believe these actors, these fake friends and lovers. They'll drive you crazy and you'll be shooting at these actors like movie directors. Keep your head up, stay strong and keep me posted. Love, peace, and empathy.

*As always, if you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at . I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on!

Friday, September 15, 2006

E-mail Advice- "My man dont like my blow job"

Today's E-mail advice might blow you away just as hard as the question blew me away. I couldn't believe someone would ask me this. Not because I don't know about it or look down on people who do it, but because I never thought someone would ask me a question about any sexual intercourse, fellatio or four-play activity, especially someone so young. Below is the young woman's question:

Wazzup Poetiq Exprezzion,

This is Cassie. I am so -n- luv with this guy who I go to school with. The only problem is hes a senior and I am a freshman. I gave him a rim job two months ago while we were at this tennis game. His younger sister was playing and shes in my grade. After I sucked him off he wanted us to have sex. I'm not ready. What should I do?

Cassie, Cassie, Cassie,

What in the world do you mean you're giving blow jobs at the age of freshman! Have teens made third base first place and anything after is some freaky ass stuff?! I feel very responsible for giving you the proper advice in your situation. I don't feel the need to remain cool or down-to-earth. I'm going to tell it like it is:

Don't you ever do anything else sexual with him again! What happened to young females crushing on someone? Where's the fun in dreaming about being with a guy? Do you realize the large amount of teen pregnancies happening. Are your trying to go that route and end up pregnant at the age of 15? That means when you're 25 your kid would be 10 years old! When you're 35 your child'll be freakin' 20! Take your time. I don't mean to sound like the un-cool young guy, but focus on your studies. I'm serious, Cassie. Lots of people grow up too fast, lacking responsibility and regret a lot of the things they've done. This guy doesn't love you, he just wants to sex you. And if you just want sex, please reevaluate that shit! AIDS and other STDs are running rapid. Would you really want to die at the age of 24 because you couldn't keep your panties up?

Sex comes with responsibilities that you don't possess yet. While you might be an intelligent and wonderful young woman, you are not an adult. So, I'll tell this advice to you like you are a mature adult:

Pop the penis out ya' mouth and go to school.

*to read more E-mail Advice click on the E-mail Advice link!

Technorati tags: , ,

Thursday, September 14, 2006

How to Flirt and Spark a Date

An initial impression of you is based 55% on your appearance and body-language, 38% on your style of speaking and only 7% on what you actually say. With this in mind, it should give us a starting point as to how easy it can be to flirt with someone and have it lead to a date!

A very close friend of mine was trying to get the attention of someone that she really likes. She asked me to help her “bag” him. I informed her that I am no dating wizard. If the guy don’t like you, he don’t like you. But I did give her a few tips. I’ll first share the tips and expose the outcome of her trying them.

Environment to Flirt

If you are going to school and are interested in anyone else going to school as well, this is the perfect place to spark up conversation. Let’s say you both have classes in Criminal Justice, that is an equal interest and a conversation can go on for weeks!

Let’s say you are not a student. The person who you want to flirt with works with you. You must find the proper place in your work environment where tons of conversations are initiated everyday. Lot’s of people watch shows such as American Idol, Dancing with the Stars and plenty others. Don’t approach that individual as if you are

*commander voice, “Aiming for target. Locking in close on target. You will strike at oh eight hundred hours!”

Relax, soldier. It’s all about being comfortable, from your end as well as theirs. Bring up a subject, if there is no connection, try another one. But please don’t run down a damn list of different topics playing the dating version of Family Feud.

Her Outcome:

My friend, let’s call her Lonely and Hunting. Lonely and Hunting walked into a local Best Buy. There is a guy there who she is obsessed with. He is your typical 6 foot 3 guy with gorgeous green eyes, beautiful hair (cut neatly), and pearly white, they must be caps of the guy went through years of braces, teeth.

So, she walks up to him. He works in the movie section. And what do you know, she loves movies. “Hi,” she addresses him in a sultry yet friendly tone. “I was wondering if you could help me find Big Trouble in Little China?” At this point she has ‘em. That movie is such a man movie I couldn’t think of anything else. And she genuinely likes the flick; she’s not fronting for the guy.

He smiles and says, “Right this way… ma’am.”

Ouch. Now, my friend is about twenty-five. This guys looks around twenty-two. How old does he think she is anyway? When they get to the movie, she takes a deep breath and asks him, “I am very into different movies. What movie would you suggest for me to watch? I like taking risks.”

While having a conversation, keep a few points in mind:

The total time each of you speaks should roughly be equal. Please don’t go on a tangent talking your ass off and not giving the other person a chance to speak. Also, don’t become completely mute and just smile like a dufus jackass without any English to spew from your lips.

Keep the conversation positive and remember everyone likes to be complimented. If they bring up a television show, movie, star or hobby, try not to turn your nose up to almost everyone, saying, “That sucks!” You are trying to find someone to date, not your mirror image. Agree sometimes to disagree. Learn their point of view and move on.

If you’re complimenting someone on their looks, keep it brief and general. Please, fella’s, don’t spend half of the conversation telling the lady how wonderful she looks. Of course, she’ll be flattered and say her thank yous. Sometimes, continuously complementing might make her uncomfortable.

As you listen, paraphrase what the other person says and use open-ended questions where possible. This is, of course, because it keeps you both talking. There is a little shyness when it comes to speaking to someone new, especially someone who you have an attraction to. The moment you leave a question up to yes or no, that is exactly what the other person will take.

Her Outcome:

To be continued…

Terry J. Snipes

Visit my other blog at:

Truth Is It

Technorati tags: , ,

Founded in 1993, Capella University is an accredited online university that offers graduate degree programs in business, information technology, education, human services, and psychology, and bachelor’s degree programs in business and information technology. Within those areas, Capella offers 76 graduate and undergraduate specializations and 16 certificate specializations. The online university currently serves 16,000 students from all 50 states and 63 countries. It is a national leader in online education, committed to providing high-caliber academic excellence and pursuing balanced business growth. Capella University is a wholly-owned subsidiary of Capella Education Company, headquartered in Minneapolis. For more information, please visit or call 1-888-CAPELLA (227-3552). *Capella University is accredited by The Higher Learning Commission and a member of the North Central Association of Colleges and Schools, located at 30 N. LaSalle Street, Suite 2400, Chicago, IL 60602-2504, (312) 263-0456,

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Advice In the Form of a Rant

As always, If you are offended by any foul language hidden and sticking out through my post, I apologize for you having to get the hell over it.

The Post

I was sitting around talking with a friend of mine. Her name is Jessica. Jessica feels like she is overweight. Don’t get it twisted, she is not the size of Lindsey Lohan after Mean Girls, but she has a very nice shape. She looks like Star Jones circa de suction.

She sat her silly ass there complaining about a guy not liking her and her feeling like she should just kill herself. And the woman wasn’t playing. What follows are the words (some paraphrased) I told my friend and the words I’ll tell all of you.

The Words

I don’t care what’s wrong with you or how fucked up you think you are, somebody loves you! Don’t hide the things that make you you. And if you don’t like something about yourself – something that could be changed- change it for God’s sake. Stop complaining about it.

If you’re buck-tooth, chick, relax! Work hard to get those braces. If not, there’s a man on the Internet who doesn’t want anything less than a chick who can bite an apple through a picket fence.

Ladies, stop disrespecting yourself. Know that you are beautiful, magical, magnificent, and unique. Don’t try and have what those woman have in the magazines and in the videos. A lot of them are not happy while most of them are not real! Some women buy breasts. Why buy breasts when you have socks at home?LOL These model women go to the hospital for exhaustion. A real woman is made of stronger qualities than these built women. Ya’ll know what I’m talkin’ ‘bout. I know women who have 2 jobs, six kids and no man. Shit, she’s got too much to do. She’s got PTA meetings, after school functions, football practice, and white water rafting. Whatever! Man, is she exhausted! But she’s not going to the hospital for it. Hell, she can’t. Who’s going to watch the damn kids when she’s gone?! In the real world, real woman take fuckin’ naps.

Please, don’t listen to men who talk crap about your flaws when they have flaws themselves. Don’t listen to people who open their damn mouths. Their teeth are all fucked up, they say hello and tools come out. Those mother fucking people can walk into Sears and put Black & Decker’s ass out of business! They have no room to talk. So, why get all uptight about the words that come out of their boo-boo lips?

Do you realize how wonderful science is becoming? They are making pills to improve everything. Things like that make individuals unique. Those things are a rather large nose. Sarah Jessica Parker has a rather large nose, but the woman is hot ass hell, in my opinion. That makes her unique.

People are out here buying Viagra and breast implants instead of working harder on helping Alzheimer disease. Do you realize that we’ll be old with big TITS and DICKS and don’t remember what to do with them?!

That’s the end of my rant. Much love, peace and empathy!

I Starve for You, My Queen

Straightaway, I starved.
Depraved of nourishment to supplement this temple.

My justification for starvation was clearly sour grapes.
I pretend to need a diet
And wash myself clean of slovenly, spotted spirits
When you are my reason.

You are my reason
For starvation.

My last two ducats lay flat in palm,
And instead of buying food to feed the hunger in my stomach
They provided a train ride to feed the rumble in my heart.

What can I say, my gentle Queen?
You feed me more.

This is a poem I felt almost compelled to write. When does love for a person, career, hobby or item become so strong that an individual will sacrifice the very things they need to live just to utilize, use or see what they have so much passion about? When does it become so strong that a person will starve, physically because they feel like they’re fed more emotionally? I think it’s a deep as theory, question or debate. I’ve gone through this before. Have you?

Monday, September 11, 2006

E-mail Advice- "How Do Gays Date?"

When thinking of a new and interesting topic to post on my blog I had to reevaluate what I'd talked about and subjects that I had not touched on remotely. Then someone wrote me the most interesting e-mail I could ever receive.

Dear Terry,

What happens to people who are gay or lesbian? What type of advice can you give to them? Are we to just be thrown to the way-side when it comes to the dating life?

To this comment, I first laughed. How in the world am I to comment on the homosexual lifestyle when I don't live it. That would be like a white Jewish guy posting a blog on the hassles of the African American dating life. Would you remotely believe the shit? I don't think so. Yet, I do have associate friends who are homosexuals and I asked them a few questions. The female whom I asked... Let's call her Fellatio of the Vagina. And let's call the guy Anal Magnetism.

How Would You Describe Being Gay?

Anal Magnetism:
I wouldn't go as far as to say we feel any different then a heterosexual guy. We just have an attraction to the same sex. I find it rather natural. Something I'd like to clear up is: Just because a guy is gay doesn't mean he is going to try and screw any dude that comes his way. Just because you have a penis does not mean we want to get in between your legs.

Fellatio of the Vagina:
I can't speak for every other female in the world because I have not spoken or am other females. I know how I feel about being with other females. I love the intimacy that comes along with it. Sex is passionate and caring. Two woman in a relationship equal a calm balance. Sometimes you'll get a more masculine woman and a feminine woman together that seem almost like a regular heterosexual couple. But I feel safe with another woman.

When it comes to homosexual relationships, is it mainly based on sex?
Anal Magnetism:
Absolutely not. They first guy I had a major crush on did not have the most attractive body. In fact, he was kinda chubby. Yet, he had a beautiful heart, mind, spirit and face. Of course, men have more of a sex drive then woman, but don't think because you're in a gay relationship you're getting some every night. You'd be rudely slapped awake.

Fellatio of the Vagina:
Sex is a major part of any relationship. I never put more emphasis on sex then anything else. A relationship needs communication, compromise, sex, and romance.

I thank my two friends for sharing this information and I kept their identity secret for obvious reasons. Maybe I'll be able to get an audio interview from them both in the future. What are your opinions. Leave a comment and let us all know.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

I Almost Posed Nude. Yet, It Made Me Love Myself More

Yes, the title is true. I did go to a studio in order to participate in a nude painting. The beautiful news is: They only painted from my waist upward. This means the whole world would get a chance to see my ball smack and boogina.

When I first arrived to the studio, the couple (a very attractive woman and a weird man) asked me to disrobe. So, I did disrobe, like a snail. I took almost 15 minutes to get my shirt, pants, shoes and underwear off. I felt like that girl did at the end of the movie FAME (for anyone who remembers that movie).

They asked me to lay on my back on top of the pedestal. Then the woman took one foot while the man took the other and they hoisted my knees towards my chest.

"Pretty," the woman said with a smile.

"The optimum feature are the lips, while the ass hole is nonpareil I believe we should focus on the face."

I'm thinking, who uses words like optimum and nonpareil in everyday sentences?

When I was told, I quickly put my pants on, feeling like I was violated. They asked me if I felt uncomfortable and if I felt like I wouldn't want my shirt to be off.

I look at 'em and say, "HELL, You just saw all my goods, I think a missing shirt wont be too bad!"

They painted two portraits of me today. Once was an enlarged portrait of my face and the other was a small portrait of my face and upper torso. They (the paintings) came out pretty good. I was just excited that my ass and balls wouldn't be hanging in some gallery with all my friends walking past like, "now I know what he's packing."

I can't exclude the other comments I received:

You are a tiny man with a large dick!

You have a very nice ass. Such a small waist with a big round ass.

Very nice features.

We love the chin! Yes, we love Terry's chin.

Shut up, you handsome whore!

Well, that's the information for today. I have created a moment like the one from Titanic, except there was no sexing going down. Until the next post, much love, peace and empathy.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

E-mail Advice- "I Hate My Parents. Why?"

I was busy trying to conduct an interview, write and edit a piece I am currently working on, hence the reason why this email advice is being put on the website so late. Below you will first read the questioner’s e-mail and my response will follow.

Dear Expression,

I know that this is website about relationships and I am happy that I found it. My name is Sheila and I’m a 16 year old from Bedford, Michigan. I think that I am mature for my age. I am your normal type of girl. I like to go to the movies, out to the mall and blah blah blah. Anywayz. It kinda hurts me when I go to the mall and I aint got money. My mother doesn’t go to work. She stays at home and gets child support from dad. I don’t even know where he is. My question is what is the feeling if you don’t love your parents? And is that wrong?



When I first read this e-mail I was excited that someone around the age of sixteen read my blog. It also terrified me, in that I have more of a responsibility towards keeping my blog posititve. But, I am an individual and I will always remain real. So, if you want real, here it goes:

Normal Life

Growing up, I was a middle class child. I never had to want for a damn thing. I had new clothes on my back almost every 5 to six months and a new toy everyday. My father was a construction worker and my mother worked in some factory downtown. Together they brought in a good estimated 2,500.00 dollars a week.

Real Life

When I turned 9 ½ that all changed. My mother quit working and got on Social Security. My father just stopped working construction all together. We were forced to leave our home and move to a smaller one. It wasn’t that bad because it was right around the corner and I could continue going to the same school.

For the next two years, we lived poor. Sometimes our lights, water and phone would be turned off all in the same month. I endured the embarrassment of walking into a store with a handful of food stamps, getting laughed at. Yet, I knew most of them were on welfare as well.

My parents would constantly give up my room to strangers, causing me to sleep on the living room couch or floor for months. This was until we (my family and I) moved to California. There I suffered neglect from my father, beatings from the local kids, peer pressure, accusations that I molested a young boy, people dying because I trusted them with information and a plethora of other events. This broke me down, causing me to loose faith in God. I begin to practice witchcraft and other forms of pagan ritual in order to “change my life.”

My father would steal my mothers Social Security check and run off to do God’s knows what and my mother and I would starve together at home. But at least I had someone to starve with.

After two years of drugs, sex, death and neglect, we couldn’t stand the pain any more and decided to move back to our home town. Once we moved back, my father came running behind us and ended persuading my mother to move into a four unit apartment.

Apartment on Glenwood Street

This was pure hell. I sleep in a room that was actually added on from the kitchen. The blue carpet was dirty and the floor slanted downward, causing the cot I slept on to flip upwards many nights while I slept. The room was smaller than a bathroom, yet I tried to manage. This is when I lost all trust in my parents, especially my father. There is nothing worse then having a parent around you everyday, yet they are never around.

I would go to school all day, then go to dance rehearsals and have to walk home only to find my father on the couch flipping through cable stations. I cried many nights when my mother would come home from work, fix dinner, and make my father’s plate first and make it the largest, causing me to have the smallest portions and not be able to get seconds. I went to sleep hungry many nights. It was like my parents were for struggling with one another and not loving their child.

Plenty of times my parents would yell for me to ask my aunt or grandmother for CLOTHES, SHOES, FOOD, CHRISTMAS TOYS or anything else. They would rather sit on their asses and complain then work hard to take care of their child. It hurt for years and it still hurts to this day.


My parents have no phone, struggle to pay bills and the only time they call me or my 3 siblings is when they want money. On my birthday or any holiday, I must call THEM in order to speak with them. Yet, when they want money, they find a phone to call me. Times I go and visit usually consists of greetings like this:

Terry- Hey ma, hey dad.

Ma- I need some money!

I wont receive a hi or a hug. I won’t receive a polite, “How is everything going.” It’s just a command of money transfer. And though it’s sad and I could hate them, I think about the things they DID do for me and how I owe them for that. You only get one mother and father and you want to leave this earth knowing you didn’t treat them how they treated you.

My point of telling you my life was to let you know that there can be love behind the mental abuse and neglect. Hell, my mother has been married to my father for 22 years and he mentally abuses her everyday. They used to fist fight. He would chase my mother around the church pews with me in her arms. While chasing her he’d be cursing, and slamming pews around. This all happened in the house of God around so many people. Image how embarrassed my mother was. I can’t get super mad at her because she goes through so much stress everyday because of my father and there is something there that is making her stay. Maybe that it love. Because she could hate him, you know? LOL.

Keep your head up, child. That dark cloud always has a silver lining. Things get better. And if life with your folks is hell, you can create your own life once you’re old enough to leave. Start learning how to pay bills now, register for college, or get a part-time job and work on creating you own life. Continue to love your parents because everyone makes mistakes. God will deal with those things; you work on loving and understand that YOU create your life. When you were a child your parents created one for you. There can be a difference. I hope I inspired you to think positively and reply back to me if you need anymore advice. Much love, peace and empathy.

As always, if you have any suggestions or comments, please reply in a comment form. Or you can ask a question yourself my sending your query to

If you'd like to read the other e-mail advice, please click on one of the links below=

Email Advice- “Punch Her in the Face!”

E-mail Advice- “Cheating”


Terry J. Snipes