Thursday, September 14, 2006

How to Flirt and Spark a Date

An initial impression of you is based 55% on your appearance and body-language, 38% on your style of speaking and only 7% on what you actually say. With this in mind, it should give us a starting point as to how easy it can be to flirt with someone and have it lead to a date!

A very close friend of mine was trying to get the attention of someone that she really likes. She asked me to help her “bag” him. I informed her that I am no dating wizard. If the guy don’t like you, he don’t like you. But I did give her a few tips. I’ll first share the tips and expose the outcome of her trying them.

Environment to Flirt

If you are going to school and are interested in anyone else going to school as well, this is the perfect place to spark up conversation. Let’s say you both have classes in Criminal Justice, that is an equal interest and a conversation can go on for weeks!

Let’s say you are not a student. The person who you want to flirt with works with you. You must find the proper place in your work environment where tons of conversations are initiated everyday. Lot’s of people watch shows such as American Idol, Dancing with the Stars and plenty others. Don’t approach that individual as if you are

*commander voice, “Aiming for target. Locking in close on target. You will strike at oh eight hundred hours!”

Relax, soldier. It’s all about being comfortable, from your end as well as theirs. Bring up a subject, if there is no connection, try another one. But please don’t run down a damn list of different topics playing the dating version of Family Feud.

Her Outcome:

My friend, let’s call her Lonely and Hunting. Lonely and Hunting walked into a local Best Buy. There is a guy there who she is obsessed with. He is your typical 6 foot 3 guy with gorgeous green eyes, beautiful hair (cut neatly), and pearly white, they must be caps of the guy went through years of braces, teeth.

So, she walks up to him. He works in the movie section. And what do you know, she loves movies. “Hi,” she addresses him in a sultry yet friendly tone. “I was wondering if you could help me find Big Trouble in Little China?” At this point she has ‘em. That movie is such a man movie I couldn’t think of anything else. And she genuinely likes the flick; she’s not fronting for the guy.

He smiles and says, “Right this way… ma’am.”

Ouch. Now, my friend is about twenty-five. This guys looks around twenty-two. How old does he think she is anyway? When they get to the movie, she takes a deep breath and asks him, “I am very into different movies. What movie would you suggest for me to watch? I like taking risks.”

While having a conversation, keep a few points in mind:

The total time each of you speaks should roughly be equal. Please don’t go on a tangent talking your ass off and not giving the other person a chance to speak. Also, don’t become completely mute and just smile like a dufus jackass without any English to spew from your lips.

Keep the conversation positive and remember everyone likes to be complimented. If they bring up a television show, movie, star or hobby, try not to turn your nose up to almost everyone, saying, “That sucks!” You are trying to find someone to date, not your mirror image. Agree sometimes to disagree. Learn their point of view and move on.

If you’re complimenting someone on their looks, keep it brief and general. Please, fella’s, don’t spend half of the conversation telling the lady how wonderful she looks. Of course, she’ll be flattered and say her thank yous. Sometimes, continuously complementing might make her uncomfortable.

As you listen, paraphrase what the other person says and use open-ended questions where possible. This is, of course, because it keeps you both talking. There is a little shyness when it comes to speaking to someone new, especially someone who you have an attraction to. The moment you leave a question up to yes or no, that is exactly what the other person will take.

Her Outcome:

To be continued…

Terry J. Snipes

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