Saturday, September 30, 2006

The "Perfect" Man

On this Saturday morning a ringing phone jerked me from my wonderful slumber. I was already in a nasty mood seeing as how I stubbed my toe on the banister at 5:00 in the AM. Foot bleeding and toe burning, it took me two hours to get back to sleep. All that pain due to a five o'clock urine run.

When I picked up the phone, my friend Donna was going on and on about her date last night. I believe she started talking the moment she heard me pick up the phone. I had to stop her, "hold on, hold on. Hello and good morning to you as well." I said. She apologized and went into her problem.

She told me that she started dating this construction worker who is actually working on a street across the street from her job. They went out on a date to Zias, an Italian restaurant. Oh, she went on and on about how much of a gentleman he was. "He help my door open for me and even pulled my chair out for me when we went to dinner," she said. "After eating a wonderful dinner, we went to the waterfront and talked about religion, politics, romance, books that we love. You know, he loves action movies as much as I do. But get this: he is a softy for romance movies. He loves 'em more than I do!" she beamed over the phone. But as you all know, with all my post, there must be some type of problem that needs solving.

The Problem

The problem with this magical date was the fact that my friend has a five year old son. When he dropped Donna off after a wonderful dinner, walking around the riverfront and a talk that could put Shakespeare to share, he wanted to come in for more than R&R. After going inside of the house she realized that her son was up and told the man that he wouldn't be able to stay over due to her son being conscience. Well, the guy was still trying to guide my friend to the bedroom! After she informed him that she wouldn't do anything sexual while her son is awake and in the same house, the guy became very upset and all of a sudden turned calm and told her that he'd call her when he got home.

Guess what, folks? He never did.

So, my friend is on the phone at 7:00 in the morning, screaming about how she wouldn't want to be with anyone who will disrespect her son in such a manner, yet she thought he was a really good guy and feels like she screwed up her chance of developing a nice, new relationship.

My Answer

I told her to drop dead and to never call me that early for any BS like that again! No, I'm just joking. I told her that she is over thinking the entire situation. If the guy was so much of a gentleman, he would have stopped trying to pursue sex the moment she told him that she was uncomfortable. It doesn't matter what her son might have saw or not have seen. If she didn't want to have sex, the guy should have left it alone. For him to stop forcing the sex thought on her just because her son was around meant that he didn't care about her feelings. It means he just didn't want her son to see his pimpled ass naked.

I told Donna to brush her shoulders off and keep going. If God made that one guy who seemed fantastic, then God has a plenty more. I told her that until that nice man came around (there will never be a perfect man) her main man is her son. He is the most important one. Even after she finds a new man, her son will have to still remain her number one. And if the guy is really there for her he will make her son his number one as well.


Ladies, please don't get so desperate that you have to settle for a man who is nice, sweet and seems perfect... except he killed a few little girls back in Iowa. Or you'll find a guy who is wonderful with children, reads poetry and seems like the perfect catch... only he has two boxes filled with child pornography(?)!! It's not worth it. You can go a lifetime trying to find the "perfect" guy and meet thousands of men who don't cut it. No one is perfect and please don't settle for the guy who seems perfect except for some major flaw that you feel you can look around. I'm not against compromise, but somethings shouldn't be tolerated.

I once had a friend who was older (around the age of 72). After her divorce in 1983 she'd been spending years trying to find the perfect man. When she turned about 70 she would pray to God, asking him to bring her the perfect man. She even cried over the subject. Not soon after, she died. God had answered her prayers. He took her from this life to be with him. My point is: The only perfect man is God in heaven. Until then, maybe it's best to try and make God your perfect man and the other men are... "alright guys" on the side. Until the next post, much love, peace, and empathy.


Anonymous said...

that mad me want to cry. you seem like you know alot about everything... smart man. we you sure are right about the perfect man tho. because i have yet to find one that is even remotely sweet<3

Poetiq Expression said...

We'll never find the "perfect" person. We have to find someone with qualities we adore, yet who remains totally different. I don't want to date a model, especially if I have low self-esteem. I don't want to walk through the mall and see a whole gang of guys gawking at my girl. Yet, I don't want an unattractive girlfriend either. What I need to do is find a "mate" who is not too right and most definitely is not too wrong. A balance that is like me. We are equal in the relationship, 50/50. That's what I think it takes.

Thanks so much for the comment. I hope you read more and enjoy more of Love, Relationships and Life!

Terry Snipes

You can check out my articles at

Anonymous said...

I think there are sweet guys in this world. We just have to find them. But if someone is ugly I don't think they should push anyone away who has an problems not remotely as bad as them.

Poetiq Expression said...

You have a point there, don't you? I guess we all have shallow ways every now and then. Keep reading and keep commenting.

Love, Relationships and Life