Someone wrote me a touching e-mail the other day about cheating and how it effects the mental state of a person. Below I have posted the e-mail that this individual sent me and I'll discuss the situation in further detail.
From :
Marsha ***** <******@yahoo.org>
Sent :
Monday, August 21, 2006 11:09 AM
To :
"Terry Snipes"
Subject :
RE: Cheating
Dear Poetiq Expression,
I am cheating on my boyfriend. We have been together for almost 6 years. That is a long time right? I have been dating him since I was 20. I came right out of high school and in to college dating him. I'd never been with any other man in my life. After a while, I got the impression that he was cheating on me. I knew he was. I could smell the other woman on her. After a while of going through this, I went to his house to surprise him. I must admit I was snooping as well. I knocked for over a half an hour. He never opened the door. I know this sounds crazy, but I stayed in my car to wait until he came home, even though his car was parked in his drive-way. When the door did open at 2:16 in the morning, a tall handsome African American man walked out. I'm pretty sure that was not my Irish/Italian boyfriend. The guy walked down the street, close to where my car was and waited for the bus. I still can believe it. The tears are trying to come and I keep fighting them. I've tried so hard to keep this relationship together and it seems like whatever I do he wants to be with someone else. Yet when I suggest we split up he tells me he doesn't want to loose me and that we can work things out. He cries and begs and I take him back because I feel he loves me. Deep in my heart I know it's a lie. So my boyfriend is a (could be) a bisexual lying cheat who is too afraid to tell me. I want to kill him. What should I do?
Marsha
Marsha,
Well, Marsha, the first thing you shouldn't do is kill him. Number one, that's wrong and number two, you'll end up in jail for a long time over a guy who'd rather get himself deep in shit (literally) than be honest and truthful with you.
The irony of the whole subject is: Love 'aint perfect! Deal with it, honey. I had a female who I was very involved in. I thought things would work out between us. I shared her goals and pushed her towards them as best as I could. In the end I found out that she was not only screwing the entire city, she also was having an affair with my second cousin!
I had to look myself in the mirror and tell myself to move on. My method was different than most people's method. I looked in that damn mirror and I laughed my ass off. Now, by this point you might think I'm crazy. No, I'm not. If I didn't laugh I might have been quoting the same bulls**t you were just saying at the end of your e-mail.
No man is worth going to jail or putting yourself through all this stress. Did you know that stress is one major cause of heart attacks and strokes? It's not healthy to put all of your attention into something is most definitely disintegrating. You can't hold on to it, toots. If he doesn't want to stay, you can't make him. And though he begs you to work it out, that's not fair to you. Why should he be able to have his cake and eat it to? Are you supposed to smell other men/or women every night he comes home just to stay in a relationship? Hell naw!
You are far more important. Pick that jaw up, wipe that pathetic look off of your face and move on, It's not easy but it will get easier. God gave you someone who loved you and cared for you- at least in the beginning- he can always bring you someone else. Someone better. Have faith in yourself. I will pray about your situation and hopefully things turn out okay. Keep me posted. And thanks for sharing your problems with the readers. It's very brave of you.
Terry J. Snipes
Technorati tags:advice, cheating, love
3 comments:
I think you have a point K.K. It seems so hard for someone to not have signs that their mate is homosexual. Yet, men (and women) are covering it up so well these days. I think she should understand that killing them wouldn't make things better because he is going to continue to date men if he wants to. The best thing she can do is leave him and find a man who wants her for her and only her. Thanks for the comment.
Feel free to e-mail mmecca@hotmail.com if you need advice or if you would like to share a story. Keep in mind that content may be published on the website.
Terry J. Snipes
Kris are you a girl?
Kris is confused. It doesn't matter if it's a woman or a man. Who ever it is must be (pretty much is) ignorant to what that guy is going through. What he/she is saying is that it's wrong for those men to have their cake and eat it to while she suffers at home. Chances are that man would have flipped if he found out she was having an affair with another man. I do believe it's wrong to "rob" an individual of their choice to love. For this, I believe she should leave him and never look back.
Feel free to e-mail mmecca2000@hotmail.com if you need advice or if you would like to share a story. Keep in mind that content may be published on the website.
Terry J. Snipes
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