As I sat on the floor of my apartment, alone and needing of my own solitude, I grabbed a deck of cards and begin to play- you guessed it- solitaire. It seemed like I was the only human being on the face of the earth. All of my friends seemed to be busy doing other things in life and I was left on that damn floor in that empty ass apartment with no other thoughts then, “is that a fly I hear buzzing around in here? Well… how in the hell did it get in here in the first place?”
I played the first game of solitary and won! I was on the fast road to an evening of success. Unfortunately, I lost the next four games. I was so frustrated that I was going to give up. Then I thought to myself, how many of us fold when we think we’re going to loose? I could continuously flip those cards and think harder for a moment to find a way to win the game.
And as I sat there, the realization of the situation hit me like I was boxing Mike Tyson without gloves. Upset and depressed with the fact that I was the only one in the apartment at the time, I seemed as if the world stopped spinning. Time stopped within my apartment but the world kept moving outside.
I walked my ass to the store and picked up some Pepsi and Seagram’s Fuzzy Navel and I sat down on the floor content with “being” in my own skin for a moment. Not wanting anyone to please or entertain me and not feeling that if I am physically alone at the time then I have nothing to do.
I sat down for the next hour and enjoyed my game of solitaire. And you know what? I won after a while. And just when the game, liquor and Pepsi began to merge and I felt larger than Donald Trump’s real estate my phone begins to ring off the hook. Friends begin calling, relatives and my girlfriend. I smiled to myself and turned the ringer off. I was going to enjoy myself a little while longer.
Technorati tags:solitaire, cards, relationship, Atlantic City
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