Wednesday, August 30, 2006

How To Share Yourself



Harry is out with his buddies at the bowling alley. He has on his bowling jacket, bowling shoes and a broad smile. He is happy for more than one reason:







1. he's with his friends

2. he's bowling

3. he's away from the "old ball and chain"



When I first moved in with my mate, I was extremely excited about the move. I couldn't wait to share my life with the woman I loved. But as all things in life, I received something that I didn't expect. It was far from easy and we fought all of the time during the first few months of moving in with one another.

"Terry, will you ever sweep the floor?" she'd scream at me. I'd yell back a few weeks later, "why do you always leave your heels right in front of the doors?" It seems as if all we did was fight and argue. It got to the point where we started telling each other that we were falling out of love. When a couple begins to say this then something is dreadfully wrong.

The subject of this blog entry begins with a question- as most of my blog entries do. That question is:


How do you share yourself?

This might not seem like a hard question to answer if you'd met a wonderful human being who you've lived with and understand the struggles of sharing your life. But to those of you who are living alone and don't realize the stress, love, bliss and pain of the situation, sit down and take note!

There a few things in which I believe every couple should keep in mind they just marry or move in with each other. Some people are extremely old fashion to the point where they believe a couple shouldn't move in together until they marry. I, on the other hand, believe that the old school way is buried and has turned to dust. With the economy like it is, most people like to room up with someone to help pay the rent anyway. So, if you are moving in with someone (if you're in a romantic relationship), these are some things to consider...


1. Space

a) Give each other space. At first it will seem like you are
supposed to be in each other's faces all of the time, but
this couldn't be further from the truth. Every couple needs
to have alone time. And alone time when taking a number 2
is not what I'm speaking of.


2. Compromise

a) You must understand that a relationship without compromise
is like being 99/1 instead of 50/50.

b) If you love someone, you want to make them happy. How do
you show someone you love them if you never make an attempt
to take the uncomfortable seat to please them. Romance
doesn't make itself, people. People make romance. Once the
romance in a romantic relationship dies, so does the
relationship itself.

c) Be understanding to your mates requests. Even if you don't
fully understand, it means a lot if you take the time out
to shut up and listen. Sometime paying attention is enough.


3. Time

a) Just as you should give your mate space, you should also
devote time to them. Lots of couplesdestroy their
relationship by putting too much focus on work or a hobby.
Don't get it twisted,I know how it is to want to make that
paper. My "spouse" wants to be a business woman. She's all
about making the dough. Yet, she knows that "we" need time.

b) If you have children, time is more important. You not only
have to spend time with your mate,you have to spend time
with your children and then with both your mate and
children at the same time. Yes, this could seem very
difficult when you balance work, hobbies, yourself and all
the stresses of life. My motto is: family first, work
second. This always words out.


4. Romance

a) This is the most important one. If you don't incorporate
this one, your relationship is as good as dead. Not every
couple spends every second of every day romantically
kissing, hugging and loving their mate. A romantic gesture
once a week, or month could do wonders. It take effort.

b) There is no way around the fact that the romance will die
off. You will spend time with each other once a week
kissing and loving and sending flowers and cards. Soon,
(maybe after 2 months of living with one another) that
starts to wear off and you find that the love aspect is by
feeling and emotions and less shown through actions.

c) Though you see your romance snowballing, try and find a way
to fit it in. Each mate should think in terms of surprise.
Don't just wait until the anniversary to bestow love upon
each other. Granite, a lot of people can't be "lovey-dovey"
every day 24/7, 365 days of the year. But more than hardly
ever will do the trick.

If you have any funny or interesting stories of you and you mate finding a connection while sharing space, please leave a comment. I'd love to head about it. And so would all of the readers. Until next time, much love, peace and empathy.

Terry J. Snipes

Visit my other blogs:

Share Love

Stigmatic Words

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Rose's Story: Domestic Violence


The text below, so strategically placed in black surrounded my white is the e-mail in which I received from Rose Starkley-Mason. This is her courageous story about survival through an overly abusive relationship. It touched me more than words normally do (and I'm a writer). Though she doesn't speak in fancy metaphors or put together poetic sentences, her message is given and that's all that counts. To Rose, I've heard you and I hope the world does as well.

Terry J. Snipes



Terry Snipes,

What can I say? When I first stumbled across your website and realized that it wasn't the same "find him" type of topics I knew I should write you about this subject. It seems like you get many interested readers to your blog and I most certainly have become one of them. This is why I would like to share a story with you. I know your website says content may be published so I am giving you all control to publish this e-mail. Please forgive me if it is not written in the greatest of prose. I am not a writer. I am a reader. lol.

My husband, Thomas Starkley took my hand in marriage on July 15, 1990. We were destined to be together. He was 30 and I was 22. I'd just come out of college with an associate's degree in Criminal Justice (which I never used).

Life with him was pure bliss for all of one year. He was always a light drinker and that didn't affect me much. Hell my father liked to have a drink every now and then as well. I must admit, sometimes he would make passionate love after he was drunk.

One day he got fired from his job. He is an electrician and a damn good one if I may say so myself. He was getting drunk as usual. Wild Rose was his favorite. It was always strong on his breath and I found myself slowly becoming un-attracted to him.

After about a month of neither of us bringing in any money, we got evicted from our home. THe bank snatched it from out under our noses. The house was in Thomas' name, but as married people know, what's his debt is my debt. My husband filed bankruptcy and we moved into an apartment on the south side of town. Around this time I got pregnant with my first girl, Atina. This is when my husband began to leave at around 6 in the evening and not come back until 5 the next morning. There were plenty of nights that I cried my eyes out. I was pregnant, alone, horny, lonely and in pain.

6 out of the 9 months I was alone during my pregnancy. Luckily he made it to the hospital to see the birth of her girl. four months later and I was pregnant again. He kept yelling for me to get an abortion. I wouldnt do it. I am most certainly not pro choice because I've always believed a child should live. That night he beat me with the butt of his gun. I do believe he tried to kill my unborn baby that night.

The beating I received caused complications and I ended up in labor 5 months before the baby was due. I stayed in the hospital for a while having labor pains. It was the most horrible experience. Of course my husband was no where in sight at this time. My mother and my best friend Mike were at the hospital almost every day.

When I had my second child and came home, the house was a wreck and Thomas was drunk. After putting Atina to bed Thomas slapped me and kicked my stomach until I felt like it was bleeding inside. Yet this was not the most severe beating I would receive.

After this the years went by as routine. It was pretty much beatings, cleaning, raising children, beatings, cleaning, cooking, sex (rape), cleaning... on and on and on. The kids and I were forced from house to apartment whenever Thomas would get fired from a job for coming drunk or failing a surprise drug test. I finally decided to get a part-time job. Thomas didn't agree with women working so I started off sneaking. When I'd talk to Mike about it he would tell me I was the female version of James Bond. I'd sneak and plan schedules just perfect for me to go to work while the kids were at school.

By the age of 32 I'd been beating numerous times in numerous places for numerous reasons. His food was cold, I got beat. I didnt groan loud enough during sex, He'd punch my vagina. Now contrary to what people believe, if a strong man punches a woman's vagina it WILL HURT.

I'd successfully kept the beatings away from my two girls for years. After a while they began to see and cry on the staircase or behind closed doors. When Thomas would leave they'd come into the room I was in with towels and clean up.

Mike and my mother tried calling the police and putting me into battered women's shelters but I always refused. The reason why is because after beating me Thomas would simmer down and treat my like a Queen. Yup, there was a catch. For the first year or so it was devastating. After a while it became second nature. When my friends and some co-workers looked at me with disbelief I would return the look. It was almost like I was saying WHAT? This doesnt happen to you?

In the winter of 1999 was when I'd had my last beating. Though he would still abuse me mentally. I was outside with my girls talking to Mike. He would often invite me and the girls over to sit and talk. On this particular day I'd forgot to set Thomas' food in the oven and instead set it on the table. How could I have forgotten? I dont know. In the middle of a wonder December day Thomas comes rolling his Chevy on Mike's lawn. He pulled out a gun waving it at Mike. I could tell he was very drunk. It didnt make matters better when Mike shouted things at Thomas. All of this things he said was true but it provoked Thomas. He shot at Mike nearly hitting one of our girls. We got in the house safely and called the police. The girls were so shook up we started taking them to therapy.

The story doesnt end like a Hallmark movie. When I divorced Thomas in 2001 it was very difficult to live or breathe. Though I hated the beatings it was all I knew. I found myself even looking Thomas up on the Internet to find where he was. I was determined to run to him. I'd received so many messages on my cell phone from him stating he loved me and he was sorry. He called me an evil bitch for keeping his children away from him. It hurt. I cried many nights.

One particular night I almost got hit my several cars when I met up with Thomas at a local bar and tried to crack a bottle over my head. Here I am stumbling into the street, blood in my eyes screaming the words I love you.

I'm not fully over my husband or the incidents. I have been single for 4 years. I just started dating a new man and I find myself extremely violent with him. I instantly began to fight him. I know it's wrong that I take my frustrations out on him. It's sad that he must suffer my my ex husband's mistakes. I don't know when I'll ever fully get over it. But the lives of my children, friends and myself was at stake. Though I crave the love and crazily, the beating of Thomas (thats all I've known), I know this is for the best. Thanks for reading this email. And may God bless you.


Email Poems:"Unanswered Love"

Below is an e-mail sent to me by Sushi (LOL). I really loved this poem and decided to publish it. Though it's not like I've been having sworms of peoms coming in. I hope you enjoy it.

Terry J. Snipes

Unanswered Love


I have tried love in many positions.
Love has been freaky with me
As well as romantic.

What is love without romance?
What is life without love?
What is a question without an answer?

I could have a million dollars
And a million pearls.
I could receive a private rocket ship
To travel around the world.
But if I can not answer this one question:

Do I have love?

Then I have nothing at all.

Tashawna "Sushi" Hicks

Sunday, August 27, 2006

The Subject of Domestic Violence


Many people will see a woman ( or have a friend) come in to work with large sunglasses on. The sky is gray and the weather doesn't warrant shading of any sun from the eyes. Co-workers look at her like, "this bitch is a diva!" or "She's crazy!" But what they don't realize, until the head manager tells her to 86 the shades, that she has a black eye.

People will question, why in the hell does she stay with a guy who beats her. Well, an empirical test of traumatic bonding theory, the notion that strong emotional attachments are formed by intermittent abuse, was reported by many doctors. You think to yourself, THIS DOESN'T SEEM POSSIBLE! Then you tell yourself, IF ANY MAN HIT ME HE'D BE TAKING A LONG RIDE TO THE MORGUE IN A HEARSE!

Yet, In-depth assessments (interviews plus questionnaires) were conducted on 75 women who had recently left abusive relationships, 50 where physical violence had occurred. The study found support for the effect of relationship dynamic factors such as extremity of intermittent maltreatment and power differentials on long-term felt attachment for a former partner, experienced trauma symptoms, and self-esteem, immediately after separation from an abusive partner and again after a six month interim.

But the main question that surrounds this blog entry is: How does one get away from the abusive relationship?

Battered women usually undergo several shifts in their thinking about the abuse before leaving permanently. A stress-process framework is used to explain the seemingly paradoxical finding that some women just out of the abusive relationship may have greater psychological difficulties than those who are still in it. Think about it. If all you know is pain caused by the hands of a misogynistic, drunk or mentally deranged man, you don't know quit how to live without it. And for those experiencing the most stress, psychological health can worsen over time. Society, researchers and doctors need to pay more attention to the plight of women who have left abusive partners.

I personally believe if a woman gets enough of getting the crap beat out of her, she'll leave. But there in lies the problem. What if she wants to leave and is too scared? Do we leave this woman in this situation and wait for her to be severely beaten or killed?

There are plenty of avenues for battered women to turn to. But I must say, and this may cause problems, woman who are ready to come out of the situation, will. Those women who are not sure of feel as though they "love" they man that is beating them will keep running back to him constantly because she believe that is the only place for her to go. God forbid there are children involved.

The truth is that women need to develop the nerve to leave on their own. Just the same as a drug addict going to rehab. You can spend tons of money in a place like that but if that person is not yet ready to stop then they will keep looking for the drugs. This is a sad thing to say, and I'm not writing this post as a doctor. I am writing this post as a man who has had friends in abusive relationships. It's best to wait until she is fed up, then help her. It might seem like negligence, but it aint. She will continue to go back to the same bullshit(if she's not ready to end it) until she dies or is put in the hospital. Sometimes, the hardest way is the best.

Woman who are experiencing physical or mental abuse from your mate, please click on the link below to get more information and help. If you know of someone who is going through this, please direct them towards the light by clicking Abused Adult Resource Center. Much love, peace and empathy to all.

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Thursday, August 24, 2006

E-mail Advice-"punch her in the face!"


I have finally built up a readership at my blog big enough to attract reader's question via e-mail. For the past week I've gotten e-mails from people eager to receive information in regards to their love life, life or relationships (be it boyfriend/girlfriend/family member/friend). Below is the very first e-mail that I received.

From : King***@hotmail,com
Sent : Wednesday, August 20, 2006 9:25 AM
To :
Subject : punch her in the face!


Expression,

I have been reading your blog for some time now. Maybe about 4 monts. I admire what you have 2 say and the way you say em. This is the thing, dude. My girlfriend is always fucking nagging me to death. I wanna punch her in the face sometimes. Turns out the other day when she kept whinning, I pushed her so hard she fell on the floor and hit her head and was knocked out. I aint a violent dude I just want her to shut the hell up for a day. Advice?

Fed up guy

What's up Fed Up Guy?

Well, first I'd suggest playing karate with a tree outside. Get a punching bag or go to your local gym, put on some gloves and have at it. Just don't punch, hit or push a female like that. Men are a tad stronger than women, and you know that they can call the police and yell, "Man! Hit!" And the cops are there as quick as a porno star pulls his pants down and whips out his... Magic stick?

The best thing to do is let her scream and holler. Yes, that is the best thing to do. Let her scream her head off and get all the sh*t she has to say out. Have you ever seen a movie where the hero has to fight lots and lots of villains and when he gets to the BIG BOSS he is warn out. This gives the BOG BOSS more of an upper hand in winning the battle. The same goes for letting her speak the wind out of her lungs.

When she has finished, politely tell her how you feel. Don't scream or get an attitude and for God's sake, DON'T IGNORE HER and treat the situation like it's not important. Tell her that whatever she is nagging you about can be worked out. But she has to work on organizing a time and place to speak about her problems. You are only human and you can't be perfect.

Now, this is where things get a little tricky. If she doesn't hear a word you say and she continues to yell and not compromise in regards to how you feel, even though you respected her by listening, tell her that you feel insulted. Oh yeah. This throws women off when men open up and show emotion. Even if you could care less as to whether she cares if you are insulted or hurt. This is a nicer way of saying, "you're really pissing me the hell off."

Women pretend like their Gods and they don't know when to apologize, but when they have fights with family or friends and they know they are wrong they will apologize. When they discover they are uncompromising, rude and very insensitive towards your feelings, she will know she's to blame, though she wont admit that. Most men feel like it's their responsibility to say 'sorry' even if it's not their fault. I think that's bullshit. After stating what you have to say, get up and leave. Don't leave as if you're mad. Leave as if you are hurt, frustrated and devastated.

Don't stay gone too long. Just walk around the block or take a short drive. Come back and if she has calmed down, don't say anything about the situation. This means she's sorry, though she won't say those words. If she is still angry about the situation, I hate to say this, but it's time to let her go. If your relationship is reduced to her being unhappy with you every day of the week you need to ask yourself, "why are we together?" Tough choice, but you guys have reached the tipping point. It's either WORK IT OUT or GIVE IT UP.

Now, you should approach the situation how you feel. You don't have to do everything that I just suggested above. These are only suggestions. Keep me posted on how things turn out and I hope everything goes well. Much love, peace and empathy to the both of you.


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Palpable Pain Caused By Lonliness


Press Play to Start Podcast
this is an audio post - click to play


When it comes to loneliness it seems like the pain can be unbearable. Singer/songwriter India.Arie even has a song on her new album about learning how to take her loneliness and turn it into a time to bond with herself. I think this is a beautiful way to look at the situation.

There was a time when I was living alone in a studio apartment. I didn't have cable or basic television. All I did was sit in this apartment with my thoughts, a pen and paper. I thought of different stories and I read my ass off. After awhile I naturally started to pity myself. I felt so alone and pathetic. It seemed as if no one wanted to speak to me and I had no one to call, see or communicate with. Junkies and crack fiends surrounded the apartment complex I lived in and it was a really hard time.

When I was driving down the street tonight and saw a young lady, walking slowly by herself, who looked to be the loneliest woman on the face of the earth, it got me to thinking about the situation that I was once in. I felt loneliness as if through osmosis. This audio blog contains my feelings during that particular time.

If anyone has a story or comment that relates to this subject, please don't hesitate to leave a comment. Thanks. Until the next blog entry about love, relationships, life and dating, Love, peace and empathy.


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E-mail Advice-"Cheating"


Someone wrote me a touching e-mail the other day about cheating and how it effects the mental state of a person. Below I have posted the e-mail that this individual sent me and I'll discuss the situation in further detail.

From :
Marsha ***** <******@yahoo.org>
Sent :
Monday, August 21, 2006 11:09 AM
To :
"Terry Snipes"
Subject :
RE: Cheating


Dear Poetiq Expression,

I am cheating on my boyfriend. We have been together for almost 6 years. That is a long time right? I have been dating him since I was 20. I came right out of high school and in to college dating him. I'd never been with any other man in my life. After a while, I got the impression that he was cheating on me. I knew he was. I could smell the other woman on her. After a while of going through this, I went to his house to surprise him. I must admit I was snooping as well. I knocked for over a half an hour. He never opened the door. I know this sounds crazy, but I stayed in my car to wait until he came home, even though his car was parked in his drive-way. When the door did open at 2:16 in the morning, a tall handsome African American man walked out. I'm pretty sure that was not my Irish/Italian boyfriend. The guy walked down the street, close to where my car was and waited for the bus. I still can believe it. The tears are trying to come and I keep fighting them. I've tried so hard to keep this relationship together and it seems like whatever I do he wants to be with someone else. Yet when I suggest we split up he tells me he doesn't want to loose me and that we can work things out. He cries and begs and I take him back because I feel he loves me. Deep in my heart I know it's a lie. So my boyfriend is a (could be) a bisexual lying cheat who is too afraid to tell me. I want to kill him. What should I do?

Marsha

Marsha,

Well, Marsha, the first thing you shouldn't do is kill him. Number one, that's wrong and number two, you'll end up in jail for a long time over a guy who'd rather get himself deep in shit (literally) than be honest and truthful with you.

The irony of the whole subject is: Love 'aint perfect! Deal with it, honey. I had a female who I was very involved in. I thought things would work out between us. I shared her goals and pushed her towards them as best as I could. In the end I found out that she was not only screwing the entire city, she also was having an affair with my second cousin!

I had to look myself in the mirror and tell myself to move on. My method was different than most people's method. I looked in that damn mirror and I laughed my ass off. Now, by this point you might think I'm crazy. No, I'm not. If I didn't laugh I might have been quoting the same bulls**t you were just saying at the end of your e-mail.

No man is worth going to jail or putting yourself through all this stress. Did you know that stress is one major cause of heart attacks and strokes? It's not healthy to put all of your attention into something is most definitely disintegrating. You can't hold on to it, toots. If he doesn't want to stay, you can't make him. And though he begs you to work it out, that's not fair to you. Why should he be able to have his cake and eat it to? Are you supposed to smell other men/or women every night he comes home just to stay in a relationship? Hell naw!

You are far more important. Pick that jaw up, wipe that pathetic look off of your face and move on, It's not easy but it will get easier. God gave you someone who loved you and cared for you- at least in the beginning- he can always bring you someone else. Someone better. Have faith in yourself. I will pray about your situation and hopefully things turn out okay. Keep me posted. And thanks for sharing your problems with the readers. It's very brave of you.


Terry J. Snipes

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Monday, August 14, 2006

I Believe...


I’d like you to take the time and finish this sentence:

I believe…

I would really like to see what it is that people believe in. What drives them to keep trying and not give up even though all signs point to failure? This is the basis of all our “American” movies. This is the hope that we live on. This is the testament that there is more to humanity than greed, sloth, envy, and war.

I believe…

It’s amazing how I’ve just written and you’ve just read two words that invoke such thought, question and understanding of “self” in a world so quick to regurgitate the past instead of reshape the future.

I’ve even notices how children seem to spark the light inside of use that projects the very essence of belief. Where does this come from? And after so long of searching for a meaning, where does it eventually go?

I know that believing is only 50% of causing change, success or failure. I was told that 10% is taken from any action during the transition to a reaction. So, if you put in 70% and 10% is taken off because of the transition you’re left with 60%. That doesn’t leave a lot of room for a strong reaction, does it? But if you put in 110% and 10% is taken off from the transition, you’re left with 100%. That is a lot of room to cause a positive reaction.

So, the question is: What do you believe?

My answer to this question:

I believe… Period.

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Monday, August 07, 2006

Career or Love? Tough Choice


When it comes to career and love, which one is the greatest? I look at celebrities who have wonderful careers but never spend any time with their mates. I suppose this is the reason why so many famous relationships break up. For the first few months occasional phone calls are great, but what happens when that physical itch needs to be scratched and your lover isn't there to take care of it?

A friend of mine has a dream of going to Chicago to pursue her goal of becoming a fashion editor or fashion consultant. Or maybe it was a fashion designer. She changes it up so much, I think she's a career chameleon. You know, those people who have a different career every day. The point of the matter is, she plans on going to school to pursue her dream which is FASHION. This is when we hear the dreaded, DUH DUH DUM DUM DUM theme. Her "dating" partner (she is too scared to commit and call him a boyfriend) wants to move to New York and chase his dream of acting. Now, let me add this up here.

New York + Chicago= DISTANCE!!!!!

I would never tell my friend to abandon her dream just to stay in a relationship that might not work out. I would always encourage her to stay in love with her career goal. Though you receive lots of BS from it and sometimes you don't want to be bothered with it, you still need it to feel complete at the end of the day. You can always pursue your dreams and find some way to live them out (unless you want to be Bill Gates, Donald Trump or Warren Buffet... then you might as well get rich or be content on staying poor).

But the flip side to this story is the fact that my friend has been searching for love and a relationship for a long time now. She is about to turn 22 and has never been in a serious physical relationship. She has never been able to go over a boyfriend's house when something was on her mind or she just needed someone to be close with. This is something that she has been waiting for since all of her other friends were dating and she doesn't want to let the opportunity pass her by. I told her that she has been watching the movie 8 Mile too much. Opportunities in love are no different than opportunities in careers except one thing:

THAT CAREER CHOICE CAN'T CHOOSE TO LEAVE OR DIVORCE YOU! You have to make that decision. It's all on a person's passion and drive for something they want that doesn't have it's own mind, spirit and choices.

I had to let her know that love is a beautiful thing, and if she feels like they are ready to move in together then they have to decide who is going where. Chicago and New York harbor opportunities in the arts. Yet, if she feels like he is not someone who she wants to be with for a long time then she needs to do her and move on. If God brought one he sure the hell can bring another one. And though it might seem like a really hard choice, it isn't. If the sun don't shine, the sun don't shine
.

What would you tell your friend to do?

Thursday, August 03, 2006

V for Victory!


I've just seen the movie V for Vendetta and I believe it was one of the most interesting movies that I've seen this year. It's so nice when Hollywood can produce something in which Americans can relate to as well as be entertained by.

The story is about V and how he goes up against the new "government." The leadership of the chancellor reminds me eerily of Adolph Hitler.

This movie is great because it teaches us, or better yet reminds- us to stand up for what we believe in. If we stand up for ourselves and stop fearing then we are showing that we love ourselves as well as our country. I think everyone should at least try and go out to see this movie. They do have it out on DVD now so you can rent it or go and buy it if you'd prefer. Thanks!

Six Tips To Flip People's Mind and Make Them Like You

A lot of people have lots of trouble learning how to fit in their own skin. It doesn't take much for us to realize the beauty of ourselves. When we look in the mirror, we so often see things we dislike instead of noticing things we love!

So many people have e-mailed me asking, "how do you make people like you?" Truth is, and you guessed it, you can't make anyone like you. You can be your charming self and attract more people that way. So, below I've listed six ways to make people like you.

Six ways to make people like you
1. Become genuinely interested in other people.

2. Smile.

3. Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.

5.Talk in terms of the other person's interests.

6. Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.



Related Posts

Win People To Your Way of Thinking

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Care When Purchasing a Diamond Ring


I like to often ask questions that would bring my readers into deep contemplation. Well, today, as I was walking to the university library to do some studying, I saw two women chatting about engagement rings. As I slowly walked past them (walking like a snail in order to eavesdrop on their convo...aint I nosy?) I heard what the conversation was about. THE HORROR!


Woman 1:
Girl, it's horrible. How the hell am I
supposed to show my friends this piece
of shit?


Woman 2:
That is an ugly ring. Why would he buy
you something like that?


Woman 1:
He's bought me rings before. He knows
better.


Woman 2:
Well, honey don't feel bad. My ring cost
about $500 bucks.


Woman 1:
(hisses) No!


Woman 2:
Maybe you can tell him you have to take
it back.


Woman 1:
That would kill him. He was so proud of
his ugly ring.


Woman 2:
Just lie and tell him that it doesn't
fit and you need to get it fitted.


Woman 1:
He'll notice that the ugly ring has been
replaced by the better one. What is it
with men? They can't get the romance
thing down, the talking or the
affection, but the moment you touch
their car, sports...anything... they
notice and will almost be brought to
tears.


Woman 2:
I guess men are from mars and women are
from-



Woman 1:
If you say it I'll smack you silly
(laugh)


Woman 2:
(laugh)

What the hell is up with this? I never knew women felt this strongly about the materialistic side of the marriage. If I were a woman I would be happy that the man I loved proposed to me. This truly makes sense when people say that men and women are complete opposites.
So, here is my question:


Ladies-
When it comes to your engagement ring (and if you are married, let's throw a past tense on there and say, "When it came to your engagement ring), is the look and price of the ring more important than the sentimental value?


Men-
When it comes to buying a wedding ring for your wife, should it matter how much it costs as opposed to the meaning behind it?

Inquiring minds would like to know.

Terry J. Snipes


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