Friday, May 26, 2006

This Is Why Relationships Are Scary


I have a problem of associating ideas with words and names. My past relationship, for example. I believe I dated Monica Newheart because of the combination of ideas suggested by her last name. The last syllable, "heart," romantic, eternal, strong and courageous... and the first syllable... That is rather obvious isn't it?

When I explained this to Monica she became so confused between her first syllable and her last syllable that she just plain gave up! The result of my analysis broke up my relationship!

Sometimes I miss that simply fascinating, paranoidal female. Other times I'm glad she's gone. Maybe that's why, for a while, I hastily went through relationship after relationship. Now that's an interesting psychic block. Why do I have a aversion to emotionally immature women, torn by irrational rages, a bit on the psychopathic side and crazy!?

After my last relationship, I believe my diagnosis on these types of women were entirely too mild. That type of woman is definitely a schizophrenic with paranoid undertones. The constant suggestion of cheating and dishonesty was nerve-wrecking! After a while I had enough of her discourtesy and surliness. I was not happy!

I guess by ranting and saying the first thing that came into my mind, I've gotten to the root of anxiety... All I had to do was put arsenic in her buttermilk. That would turn her into a middle-aged Mongoloid from Memphis. But, that would be the spiteful act of an neurotic child (if I decided to do that).

Really, it's much too lovely of a day for such tirades.

For future reference, this is what you feed the type of person I've just described:

PRUSSIC ACID, BLU VITRIOL

and GROUND GLASS!!!!!!

Give them HOT WEATHER THINGS TO EAT!!!!!!

Terry J. Snipes

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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

This post was bananas! That was so masagonistic of you, but I understand the pressures of the dating life. This post was still nuts.

Poetiq Expression said...

I guess I was feeling a certain way. I try not to come off too robotic on my blogs. I have a personality. Now, do I encourage couple to kill each other...? No. But I do encourage people to question and sometimes just laugh at the situations that love and life bring to us. This blog was intended to tickle the funny bone, not offend or cause the next Bobbit event. Thanx for the comment.

Love, peace and empathy