Thursday, November 16, 2006

E-mail Opinion- "Another deep discussion..."

Dear Poetiq,

By now, you know that my single girlfriends and I are scholars of sorts. We are ever searching for understanding...or really just how to maximize our smashing good looks before we get fat and ugly. Deep down inside, we are really very shallow. I have withheld all names to protect the slutty.

The topic of last night's discussion was the number of men it takes to satisfy our needs. It seems that we can never find one man who covers all of the things that are the most important to us (like sex and world peace and stuff). One man will be fabulous for adventure and travel, another will be the best secret holder, one will give a great massage, another will have a pizza delivered just to be nice, some are good for gifts, some are good for sex, some will let you drive his really, really nice car. Some write poetry, some will cook for you, some make you feel beautiful, brilliant, sexy...

We concluded that three men is the ideal number.

1. The One to F*ck.
2. The One to Cuddle.
3. The One to Pay the Bills.

Admittedly, juggling three men can be difficult to manage; and at times the number of men carried will have to be reduced to two for sanity's sake. Herein lies the dilemma.

Whom should one put on hold?

Scenario 1: Drop The One to F*ck.

Problem: Lack of sex makes us cranky, risking a blow up with The One to Pay the Bills. Worse, in a moment of weakness and desperation, a girl could find herself sleeping with The One to Cuddle. Thereby, making him now The One to F*ck although he will still expect cuddling. Naturally, he's The One to Cuddle because he's very sensitive meaning that sex will turn this relationship upside down. Many feelings will be hurt.

Scenario 2: Drop The One to Cuddle.

Problem: Affection is important. Some days, a girl just needs to sit in a warm lap. Sitting in the lap of The One to Pay the Bills gives him false expectations about his role in the relationship. He becomes nurturing instead of simply signing checks. Each transaction, now feels like talking to your parents and asking for your allowance. Demanding snuggling and spooning from The One to F*ck will run him off and then there will be no one to f*ck.

Scenario 3: Drop The One to Pay the Bills.

This is scenario is simply too ridiculous and improbable to discus. Even for the sake of argument.

Perhaps you can create some sort of matrix to help us to make our decisions.

As always, thank you for your insight.

Mist 1


I thought this was an excellent email. Though I didn’t feel the need to give advice on this, I still was compelled to post it. It seemed like such a different approach on a non-monogamous relationship. This intensifies the logic of not relying on one particular person to fulfill a need. It’s almost like not setting one’s self up for failure.

You guys have heard it from me, Mist 1, new voice, look into it!

*If you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at . I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on!

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