Monday, March 22, 2010

Personal Loans & Relief with Goat’s Milk

Goat’s and Sheep’s Milk; Yum, Yum!

Personal loans can get me up and running and so can 2% milk. I read an article a few days ago by Leon Moss, another writer on Personal Money Store’s blog. His article, It’s sheep’s milk cheese that gets my blood flowing inspired me to consider my milk intake very carefully. It seems like I run to any available bathroom just a few hours after drinking milk, and it could be just a small amount from my breakfast cereal.

I often tell myself that I’ll slack off drinking as much milk, but before I know it, I’m drinking a glass of warm milk, pouring too much milk in my mashed potatoes, or dribbling just a tad of 2% milk into my soups. Alas, this doesn’t seem as grueling to my stomach when I first drink it. However, a few hours later and my stomach is moaning and groaning something awful.

A Trip to the Library

It was on a nice and sunny day that I decided to go to the library with a couple of friends, CJ, Patrick, and DF (Doll Face). CJ and DF had reports they needed to write up for school and Patrick and I joined along for moral distractions… or, ahem, support.

We’re not considered the quietest bunch when we’re all together. From one of my friends making farting noises with his armpit to the other singing the Star Spangled Banner like they’re filthy drunk, we keep the excitement and entertainment flowing around us. Librarians see us coming and place signs on the available computers and check-out desks saying, “Shut Up!” or “Remain quiet as a mouse… or we’ll squash you like one!” I believe the signs are a tad aggressive, and when I asked the librarians about it, they told me the signs were advertisements for a new movie coming to theaters. I thought to myself, the movie industry is getting a little lax with the movie titles now-a-days.


With all of the noise my friends make, I was sure that I could eat a bowl of cereal before meeting them at the library. If I did have gas and needed to let one rip, they wouldn’t hear it. And sure enough, not too long after drinking the last drop of milk in my bowl (2 hours earlier) my stomach began to tumble and rumble. There was only one dilemma with today’s scenario: my friends were quiet as church mice.

Something had shifted in the atmosphere. The librarians were actually smiling at us when we walked past their desks to use the restrooms. The security officers waved at us, instead of the usual flicking us off that they do. Oh, and my stomach felt as if it would pop or explode. I had to let a couple sounds out of me, and I wasn’t sure that my friends, or the friendly employees of the public library, wanted to hear it.

“Thierry,” CJ said to me, “You look like you’re in pain. Is everything okay,” she asked.

“Oh, yeah,” I responded, lips puckered as if I were sucking on a sour candy. I was dancing around ever so softly, knees joined together and my stomach muscles were clenched tightly.

The Need for Personal Loans

I was sure that the library would need to get personal loans to fumigate the area after the damage I’d cause. I didn’t know whether I should have worn a diaper or just left for home. I kept thinking of how embarrassed I’d be if I passed gas out in the open of the library, or worse, if I had an accident.

“They might need a few personal loans,” I told my friends. They asked me what I was talking about, never noticing the pained expression on my face or the way my body was doubled over in pain. “They might be able to use them (personal loans) to invest in an outrageous air-freshening campaign.” At that moment I let my secret escape my body, embarrassment now a thing of the past. Conversely, I couldn’t help remembering Leon Moss’ article on goat’s milk, and making a promise to myself: I’ll never drink 2% milk again!

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