Saturday, January 13, 2007

E-mail Advice- "Husband wants to read while I sleep"

Dear Poetiq,

I have been reading your blog for a while. I hadn’t seen many E-mail Advice posts, and I was nervous about sending you an e-mail about my problems. I don’t even know if this will be published, and even if it’s not published, I hope that you can take the time out to answer my concerns. I am having trouble understanding why I’ve given up in my life. I tried to make my marriage work. My problems are not as lewd and outrageous as the other people’s problems who’ve wrote you, but I just want my husband back. One week I want to make it work, the next week I feel like giving up. He’s moved out of the house and I haven’t seen him in a week. We have been trying to get pregnant and I really want things to work out. I am 36 years old. I shouldn’t have to go through this. Please help me.

Erika J.


Dear Erika,

Thanks a lot for the kind words about Love, Relationships and Life. Yes, I still receive e-mail questions. I have not posted a lot because I wanted to wait until the new blog design was up.

Beyond the lights, glamour and money, most stars live very stressful, and sometimes depressing lives. It’s true. And you know what’s worse than stars who are stressed or depressed, stars who feel this way when they don’t really love what they are doing for a living. The same goes with you, Erika. Be real for a second here. If you ever have to question whether you want to be in the relationship or not, then you shouldn’t be there. And the fact that you are being hurt and a part of you is saying, “leave,” doesn’t make the situation any better.

I understand that you want your husband to be by your side, but you said best yourself: “One week I want to work it out, the next week I feel like giving up.” You want to know why you feel this way? It’s because deep down inside you’d rather give up on the marriage. Oh, yes. Who gets married to feel that type of pain? Yet, when you think about your age and the fact that you haven’t had a child, you choose to stay. Then other questions must facture into the equation: How many friends and family are constantly in your relationship; have you been telling lots of people that you’ll be pregnant soon; and do you expect your husband to change?

Please, write me back telling me how long these problems have been happening, how long you’ve been trying to get pregnant, and how long the two of you have been married. I look forward to hearing from you, Erika

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