LOVE Light LIFE

Relax After Work with Installment Loans

2010-03-23T06:17:00.000-05:00

Stress Builds Up

A few years back, I needed to pay off a traffic ticket in the amount of $175 (plus court fees) and installment loans sure helped relieve some of the stress. Actually, those are two things that seem to go hand in hand: stress and life. But there are most certainly ways to overcome the stress, started from even your punch-out from work.

Leave the Residue at Work

It’s a good thing to take a couple minutes and relax before going home. Plenty of people would say, “Thierry, after work I’m ready to go home and not stay a moment longer.” I understand this logic, of course, but it’s a good thing to stay an extra five minutes in order to clear your mind rather than spending hours and hours at home with the same negative stress and worry you left work with.

While you sit down (at work) and take a few deep breaths, you’ll start to relax; If you’re not sure how to take a deep breath, check out my article Meditation & Payday Loans Change Things, you’ll receive greater benefits from this article.

Home Travel Affirmations

There are a few things that can aid you in shedding the stress, worry, and tension while even driving home from work. As you ride, turn down your radio, try to hang on to the serene feeling you received from the meditation you performed before leaving work, and recite one of these 4 affirmations that stand out to you the most:

· My mind is cleared and I feel fresh and rejuvenated.

· I have energy and passion for life. I feel free and comfortable to live my
life.

· I am floating higher and higher, filled with joy. I am happy.

· I have left work at my job; it is not with me now.

These are but a tiny few affirmations you can state as you drive home, or you can make up your own, which isn’t a bad idea. Self made affirmations are personal and in turn just as effective to your daily success as emergency installment loans.

Clean It Up

When we get home, instinctively we like to relax and not worry about anything. I hate to break the news to you, but in order to have an even more relaxed evening from work you must do a little cleaning.

With the exception of parents with toddlers, it’s nice to do a little cleaning before you completely unwind. A night spend in a comfortable and clean environment will be more relaxing than a night surrounded by stale air, crumbs on the carpet, and fingerprints or streaks on the television screen. This doesn’t mean that you have to move furniture and bend over backwards to get things “clean.” Just tidy up your environment enough that you feel safe, secure, and fresh.

Eat It Up

Surprisingly, I’m not talking about food in the paragraph header. I’m talking about your day. Taking some time to reflect on everything that happened in the day is great. Now that you are relaxed and comfortable, you can better judge the progress of your day in an optimistic manner, as opposed to a pessimistic attitude.

Did your boss say something to you that made you angry? Where you a little jealous because a co-worker of yours received the promotion you’d been working hard for weeks to get? These are all work related situations to ponder and think about while you’re at home, even before hoping into the bath or shower and getting something to eat. Don’t spend too much time on this area.

Did you know…?

Scientists state that the best time to remember information is directly before sleep. The brain sifts through daily information, thoughts, sights, sounds, and smells, keeping what it deems important and throwing out what’s thought of as frivolous. College students are actually encouraged to have “cram sessions” directly before going to bed, this way they retain the information longer after REM (rapid eye movement) sleep.

Road to Peaceful Slumber

Now that you are relaxed, take a nice hot shower or bath, eat a little something (nothing too heavy), and spend the rest of the night enjoying yourself. Put your favorite movie in the DVD player, pop your favorite meal in the oven or microwave and surround yourself in as much pleasure as you can. Invite your beau over and enjoy the company, this will help you sleep better and longer with uninterrupted peace, kind of like how installment loans make you feel after stressing out over any debt.

Personal Loans & Relief with Goat’s Milk

2010-03-22T06:11:00.000-05:00

Goat’s and Sheep’s Milk; Yum, Yum!

Personal loans can get me up and running and so can 2% milk. I read an article a few days ago by Leon Moss, another writer on Personal Money Store’s blog. His article, It’s sheep’s milk cheese that gets my blood flowing inspired me to consider my milk intake very carefully. It seems like I run to any available bathroom just a few hours after drinking milk, and it could be just a small amount from my breakfast cereal.

I often tell myself that I’ll slack off drinking as much milk, but before I know it, I’m drinking a glass of warm milk, pouring too much milk in my mashed potatoes, or dribbling just a tad of 2% milk into my soups. Alas, this doesn’t seem as grueling to my stomach when I first drink it. However, a few hours later and my stomach is moaning and groaning something awful.

A Trip to the Library

It was on a nice and sunny day that I decided to go to the library with a couple of friends, CJ, Patrick, and DF (Doll Face). CJ and DF had reports they needed to write up for school and Patrick and I joined along for moral distractions… or, ahem, support.

We’re not considered the quietest bunch when we’re all together. From one of my friends making farting noises with his armpit to the other singing the Star Spangled Banner like they’re filthy drunk, we keep the excitement and entertainment flowing around us. Librarians see us coming and place signs on the available computers and check-out desks saying, “Shut Up!” or “Remain quiet as a mouse… or we’ll squash you like one!” I believe the signs are a tad aggressive, and when I asked the librarians about it, they told me the signs were advertisements for a new movie coming to theaters. I thought to myself, the movie industry is getting a little lax with the movie titles now-a-days.

Bubbling

With all of the noise my friends make, I was sure that I could eat a bowl of cereal before meeting them at the library. If I did have gas and needed to let one rip, they wouldn’t hear it. And sure enough, not too long after drinking the last drop of milk in my bowl (2 hours earlier) my stomach began to tumble and rumble. There was only one dilemma with today’s scenario: my friends were quiet as church mice.

Something had shifted in the atmosphere. The librarians were actually smiling at us when we walked past their desks to use the restrooms. The security officers waved at us, instead of the usual flicking us off that they do. Oh, and my stomach felt as if it would pop or explode. I had to let a couple sounds out of me, and I wasn’t sure that my friends, or the friendly employees of the public library, wanted to hear it.

“Thierry,” CJ said to me, “You look like you’re in pain. Is everything okay,” she asked.

“Oh, yeah,” I responded, lips puckered as if I were sucking on a sour candy. I was dancing around ever so softly, knees joined together and my stomach muscles were clenched tightly.

The Need for Personal Loans

I was sure that the library would need to get personal loans to fumigate the area after the damage I’d cause. I didn’t know whether I should have worn a diaper or just left for home. I kept thinking of how embarrassed I’d be if I passed gas out in the open of the library, or worse, if I had an accident.

“They might need a few personal loans,” I told my friends. They asked me what I was talking about, never noticing the pained expression on my face or the way my body was doubled over in pain. “They might be able to use them (personal loans) to invest in an outrageous air-freshening campaign.” At that moment I let my secret escape my body, embarrassment now a thing of the past. Conversely, I couldn’t help remembering Leon Moss’ article on goat’s milk, and making a promise to myself: I’ll never drink 2% milk again!

Have YOU Considered Debt Consolidation?

2010-03-21T06:06:00.004-05:00

I don’t mind…

I don’t mind discussing debt consolidation with random strangers. They often look at me, fear in their eyes as they clutch their purse or exchange their wallet from one pocket to a more secure one. There’s no shame in my game as I wait in line at my bank, rocking ever-so slightly on my heels, my hands clutched behind my back.

“Say,” I remember asking a woman in front of me one day. “Are you swimming in bills to your forehead?”

This is about the time that the bank’s security officer politely walked up to me and asked me to shut up. Though I am a friendly person by nature, I decided to stop harassing the customers and get what I needed before I ended up escorted out by the police.

A Trip to Recognition

After leaving the bank, money in hand and a song in my heart, I decided to do a little grocery shopping. The people in the store give me polite smiles, yet most of the store’s staff avoids eye contact with me. I’m accustomed to it. They’re aware of my debt consolidation speech and avoid any contact with me whatsoever.

Low and behold, my eyes always spot a newcomer, a fresh face in the handful of store employees who aren’t ditching and dodging me. Playing it really cool, I walked up to the diaper section, where he’s stocking packs of diapers. I cleared my throat, fondle a few packs of pampers, and turned to the innocent, defenseless man.

Have you considered…?

“Is the IRS making you cry like a baby? Well maybe you should consider debt consolidation-” I started to give the fresh employee my spiel, but a wise and quick veteran employee just snatched the prey from grasp.

“Never speak to him. He’ll talk you into a stroke!” the veteran said, hauling my catch away. But it’s okay, because I see a pregnant woman casually snipping grapes from a bag and tasting them.
They Usually Slip Away

“Hello, congratulations on the newborn,” I said, eager to make a new friend, plus a commission sell. She turned to me, a warm smile on her face as she nodded her head. I found it rather strange that her cart only had a box of saltine crackers, avian water, and a bag of marshmallows in it.

“Are these diapers frightening you?” I lifted a pack of pampers, smiling like a cheesy commercial actor. She frowned, stepped away from me a little.

WOMAN: What?

THIERRY: The cost of pampers. This pack costs $5.84. If your finances aren’t in order, you might want to consider debt consolidation.

WOMAN: Oh, god!

THIERRY: What? I’m sorry…

WOMAN: I heard about you… Kids run!

Her three other children practically popped out of thin air and started racing down the isle. She scurried off behind them, a polite apology on her face. I felt a little out of place. Had my approach become dangerously obnoxious? I just felt as though the best way to network a helping hand was to speak about it.

Checkout Time

I walked to the checkout line, smiled at the cashier, and she smiled back at me. She looked friendly, open, around my age, and attractive. I stepped up to the cash register and placed my items on the belt.

CASHIER: Hi.

THIERRY: How has your day been?

CASHIER: Okay. You?

She continuously swipes items, and that beeping sound drones on without haste.

THIERRY: Are they hiring here?

The beeping stops and she looks at me, the smile fading into stern contempt.

CASHIER: My credit is great, I own a home, a car, I’m married, and I’ve already invested in debt consolidation. Your total is $45.00 even.”

Support A Dream: With or Without Payday Loans

2010-03-21T05:59:00.002-05:00

I prefer advance payday loans over “dream killers”…

I am as fond of advance payday loans as I am of morning walks in the park. I’m fond on eating a bowl of cereal for dinner and enjoying every bite of it. I’m even fond of saying hello to individuals I pass in the park, even if they don’t say hi back to me. But I am not very affectionate for dream killers.

Oh, you know the type where everything has to be so logical that the only logic remaining is his/hers; the type that sticks their nose in other people’s affairs solely to give an “educated opinion” on the matter.

The Incident

I was having one of my usual walks in the park when I saw a close friend of mine. We’ll call her CJ. She was walking with a man I’d never seen before. He was her type as well, tall, tanned, and dressed from neck to toes in Abercrombie and Fitch attire. And when she introduced me to him, I discovered that his personality didn’t seem the mesh well with her average boyfriends.

“I’m an artist, dud,” he said to me.

“You meant to say, dude, right?” I asked.

“Nope,” went his quick response.

I decided to brush his attitude off my shoulders and I asked him what type of artist he was. He looked at me and then at CJ like she was nuts for not sharing the information with me ahead of time, and then he said, “I am a brilliant writer! Have you ever heard of Stephen King?” he asked me.

“Yes,” I said.

“Garbage! How about Dean Koontz?”

“Yeah,” I said.

“Hack!”

I was beginning to get fed up with his attitude, but then CJ said something that made his outrageous characteristics seem justifiable, at least to some Twilight Zone degree.

CJ’s Comment:

“Oh, my gosh, David! Can’t you turn off the computer and pick up a full-time job?!”

My Two Cents

I was completely floored that she encouraged him to stop working on his dream; especially since she has dreams of working as a DP for movies someday (she’s even taking classes for it). Fortunately for CJ, she found a wonderful job on campus doing what she loves, DP and photography work. What about David? There are places such as Personal Money Store that offer writers an advance payday loan or a chance to make some extra money from pay-per-post article submissions, but other than that, she has to continue pushing his work in order to succeed.

Conclusion

I politely told David that I believe he’ll succeed. He spat a glob of mucus over his shoulder, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, smiled and said, “Thanks, dud.” I then shared with him some of my favorite writers, all of whom he felt were no-talents. But when I mentioned a couple authors from Shakespearean days, he lit up more than receiving emergency payday loans on Christmas morning. I hope I inspired him, and I hope his girlfriend, my friend CJ learned something: If you can’t build a person’s character, you should leave them alone. I think that was well put, straight without a chaser.

Feel free to leave a comment or write to lrl.advice@hotmail.com

Credit Cards: We're Still Lovin' 'Em

2010-03-14T10:34:00.007-05:00

Last year, incomes were at record lows and unemployment rates were at all time highs. However, the big question is: how did consumers manage to pay down their credit-card debt just in the last year? Because credit-card debt dropped significantly last year, a new MoneyNews article suggested that Americans aren’t giving up their love for credit-cards any time soon. And get this, the meat of the decrease resulted from charge-offs and not from payments. Once debt is 180 days past the due date, Banks and credit-card companies will most likely charge-off debts. The Federal Reserve doesn’t separate debt payments from charge-offs when reporting national figures of credit-card debt reduction. According to online sources (CardHub.com) who analyzed and studied a survey, the lion’s share of the $92.3 billion drop in card balances was due to lenders that charged off a record-breaking $82.37 billion of credit-card debt last year.

Lender charge-offs are main reason for debt reduction

As of January 2010, according to government reports, credit-card balances have been declining for 15 consecutive months. Referring back to the CardHub.com survey, 2009’s first quarter was the main time during the 15 month time-span when consumers actually paid their credit card balances down. Believe it or not, the consumers paid down their card balances by 45.8 billion, with lenders charging off a added $17.95 billion. Preceding the initial quarter of 2009, world-wide card balances either remained the same of increased.

Credit-card debt is paid down, but not quite down yet

Continuing with the CardHub.com survey, they suggested that the record-braking lender charge-offs for the past several months was evidence that the financial pressure face by many Americans is too palpable to ignore. Consumers have not been paying down their credit-card debt after all. In the third quarter of 2009, credit-card debt charge-offs were a record high of 10.1 percent. In the last quarter, the rate was somewhere lower, and the situation is predicted to become much worse. MoneyNews states that Moody’s Investor Service predicts the charge-off rate will climb to 12% in 2010. Conversely, in the fourth quarter of 2006, just a year before the country’s economic misfortune, the charge-off rate was a small 4%. Does anyone want to time travel now?

Not a Big Surprise

The underemployed and unemployed Americans are still financial “busted” and leaning on the aide of credit cards and emergency cash loans for assistance. And with an added ripple effect in the pond of this recession being due to increased charge-offs by lenders, there’s no wonder the financial stress hasn’t let up yet… Well, isn’t it?

Your Personal Loan can Yield a Low-Interest Rate

2010-03-10T15:20:00.004-05:00

When getting a mortgage, or any type of personal loan, the advantages that you receive are greater compared to the other options people who need a loan are subjected to. Why? Because they offer lower interest rates with longer payment terms. While it can be difficult to qualify for a low-interest personal loan, because it’s not a guarantee that you’ll qualify and any bad credit you might have will likely get you rejected.

Your greatest solution to fast cash is a personal loan

Personal loans are usually cheaper than other types, and they could require collateral, which is also required with a secured loan. When any payments are missed, collateral can be taken out at any time. However, a person who maintains a clean financial record, and tries to clean up the messy ones they have, they could enjoy low interest rates by following the loan’s requirements. At any rate, the chances of an individual getting this type of loan depends on the trust between both the borrower and the lender. No collateral personal loans, or unsecured loans, are less stressful, but on the flip side, require that you stick to more strict guidelines, such as a shorter repayment term and a higher interest rate.

It’s a Give and Take: Getting a good low-interest personal loan

Payday loans, which provide a greater acceptance rate, are nothing like low-interest personal loans that require you prove you are able to pay back the money you borrow on time. Don’t be surprised if they look into your credit and employment history, calculating all of any prior loans that you have gotten with the lending company. For example, if you are currently paying off a loan, then they (the potential lender) will make sure that you have met all of your payments on time and in full. It’s a good idea to do business with a bank or even credit union that you have worked with in the past, as long as you hold a decent track record with them.

While loans for individuals with bad credit may be more difficult to come by, a personal loan is still available. The only difficulty is that you will not benefit well from low interest rates. This means that regardless to whether you need to borrow money for bills or school, or you just want fast cash, all bases are covered. Also, taking in and practicing wise money management skills is a good idea. When taking out a low-interest personal loan, the key to your success is following your shopping habits and making all of your payments in a timely manner.

When Will We Ascend?

2010-02-24T12:42:00.002-05:00

There comes a time when a person needs to be quick to listen and slow to speak. We don’t realize just how affected our spirits are when we spread poison from our mouths.

Why do people feel the need to talk about things, and they don’t even know all of the angles? If we can pull ourselves away from the self and start thinking about the feelings of others, instead of what they think about us, we would be okay. This would be a not-so-bad country, in my opinion. However, we do have the strong bonding chains of individualism holding us to the ground. When will we ever ascend, maybe not reaching the firmament, but at least the clouds….?

When?

Please, Leave A Comment

2008-01-30T13:13:00.002-05:00

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2007-12-13T09:39:00.000-05:00

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Re: "I'm an alcoholic"

2007-12-09T22:04:00.000-05:00

Dear Trew Life,

I can’t put down alcohol. Whenever I try to go a day without it, I feel like I might faint and die. How could I stop drinking the stuff? Any suggestions?

Marlane

_____________________________________________________________

Dear Marlane

Addiction is far more controlling than people would like to admit. There was a time when I was smoking weed every day! It helped me become creative (so I thought). But after awhile, I realized that I didn’t want to depend on some drug in order to create something with the talent that God had already given me.

Do I smoke now and again? We’ll keep that a mystery.

But in order to tear myself away from the stuff, I would put it up in a spot that was very uncomfortable to get to. I also threw myself into different writing projects that I was working on. I tried to substitute my addiction to weed with addiction to something more positive. I prayed more, and wanted to develop a connection. To be honest, I believe that weed helped me focus when praying, and I started to have more of a connection with God.

So try and invest more of your time doing things that are not surrounded by alcohol. Eventually, you’ll learn to go at least a couple of days or weeks without it.

- Trew Life

Lesson On Building Blog Readers and Clients for Businesses

2007-12-09T21:56:00.000-05:00

As many of you know, especially from my last post, I am a God fearing man. I believe that as followers of Christ we should always put God first in everything that we acquire to achieve. I don’t mean to come off preachy, but when God says there’s something for me to share, I know it will not only benefit my readers, it will also benefit me spiritually. I know, as well, that it’ll benefit my blog’s growth in readership.

I know many of you are scratching your heads, wondering what the hell the title of the post means, and I’m more than happy to tell you.

The other day, inspired by a gut feeling, I opened my bible directly to 2 Chronicles Verse 10, Chapter 7 and read:

“They said, ‘If you will be a servant to this people, be considerate of their needs and respond with compassion, work things out with them, they'll end up doing anything for you.’”

The Post

This is very much the case with your blogs and websites. This is the case in regards to your business and family relationships. It’s also the case if you’re a business owner and you have fickle customers and clients.

The scripture said, “…be considerate of their needs.” This means providing your readers or customers with products or prose that suit their educational or financial growth.

1. Blog Example

People are slightly filtering through your blog, but no one is staying and clicking through it. By writing posts that teach, inspire, or entertain them, you keep them coming back. Ask them what type of information they’d like to know about (What things would my Trew Life readers like me to focus more on?).

2. Business Example

You have a few clients, but nothing special. You have been trying to figure out a way to receive more business, then you learn to ask your clients what they feel is lacking from the industry. Whatever it is they want, you should try and supply it, within the confines of your industry. Unless, of course, you’re thinking out of the box, and come up with something awesome that beautifully merges together two different genres or industries. TL

The middle half of the scripture says, “…respond with compassion.” In order to respond with compassion, you have to have a strong desire in your heart to alleviate any stress that the reader or client has due to their ignorance of your helpful prose (blog or website) or products (business). Anyone who is successful will tell you that you have to embody passion for what you do. The bible gives us Business 101!

The last part of the passage concludes, “…work things out with them, they'll end up doing anything for you."

3. Work Things Out

Of course, work things out with them means to work out an arrangement where you can offer your service (whether it be inspiration blog posts about financial gain, spiritual enlightenment, or baking a cake) in a way that satisfies your readers or clients, as well as yourself.

4. The Rewards

If the above suggestions are put into practice, your readers or clients will end up doing anything for you, and this could stretch miles with imagination.

Trew Words

Suppose you wrote a book, and because you’ve been so good at providing relevant informational posts on your blog, about 1/3 of your readers buys that book. You see where I’m going here? Or if you make sure you send a client a card thanking him/her for their business, when they are able to provide you with something, they will give it to you without restraint.

But anyone who is kind hearted can tell you that you shouldn’t be a prick towards people. That won’t keep them coming back. They won’t appreciate you, and your business or opinion won’t be worth the dirt they walk on. Like I said earlier, they can be very fickle.

I’m elated that God was able to direct me to that passage, and I could give you a few tips on making your product (prose, service, or physical product) stand out. Take this as vital information. Feel free to read to passage for yourself, and do some studyingby clicking on this link: 2 Chronicles 10:7

This message has been brought to you prophetically through Trew Life over at Trew Life Advice.

I’d love to hear your response on the topic, so mEet Me iN tHe ComMeNts section, and we can chop it up.

Until the next post, my inspirational readers, much love, peace, and medicated hair grease.

P.S. (Post Script) After dissecting the passage (2 Chronicles 10:7) I decided to read more of the story, and found out that lots of the people were beseeching King Rehoboam to go easy on them with the rules and punishments. Rehoboam was a king of the ancient Kingdom of Judah, succeeding his father Solomon. His grandfather was David. He was the third king of the House of David and the first of the Kingdom of Judah. His name means he who enlarges the people.

So Rehoboam went to his elders and asked their opinions of how he should respond to the people. The scripture (2 Chronicles 10:7) was the elder’s response.

- Trew Life

Re: "My girlfriend is acting like a crazy bitch"

2007-12-09T21:36:00.000-05:00

Dear Trew Life,

Can you please help me understand something. My girlfriend is mad at me because I didn’t say anything when she asked me if I thought she’d gained weight since she had our son about 3 months ago. I chose to pretend like I was too into the episode of I Love New York to hear her. SO she goes crazy -n- tells me that I don’t care about her and shes a big fat joke and I didn’t say that. When I told her she looks very good to have just had a baby she whined and said she didn’t know why she even asked me, because I didn’t know what I was talking about in the first place.

I thought she’d only be emotional like this during pregnancy I didn’t think I would have to deal with it almost every day. Im having some second thoughts about our relationship and proposing to her. Help me understand man.

Chris

______________________________________________________

Wassup Chris,

I’m going to tell you a story, and Chris, I want you to pay attention. I aint just saying it for my health.

You have to appreciate her more than you do.

In the Bible a story took place in Bethany, where a woman brought a great treasure to Jesus. She carried an alabaster jar filled with ointment. Right in front of the shocked eyes of the disciples, she emptied the expensive perfumed over Jesus' head.

The disciples cried out in dismay. "Why this waste? For this ointment could have been sold for a large sum, and the money given to the poor." They understood charity. They understood giving to the poor, yet they could not understand this woman's actions.

Jesus, however, responded, "Why do you trouble the woman? She has performed a good service for me." He saw this woman's actions as service, as serving. More, she demonstrated an awareness of the coming death of Christ. Jesus said, "By pouring this ointment on my body she has prepared me for burial." The service the disciples would have rejected, the Master accepted and commended.

Too often they are told, as this woman was, that the service they offer for the body of Christ is unwelcome or spiritually wrong. Jesus offered encouragement, however. He said, "Truly I tell you, wherever this good news is proclaimed in the whole world, what she has done will be told in remembrance of her." We need to remember the brave woman with a jar of oil and all the other women in the Bible and in our history. They’ll help you appreciate what you have, Chris.

I’m sure that if you left her, you’d find someone else with some issue you wouldn’t like. Trust me, you probably have some problems she isn’t thrilled about. But she makes due, just like you should.

You plan on marrying this woman, Chris. I’d say stick it out, and if you feel the same way about her in the next 3 to 6 months, then stop the entire relationship. Some people just aren’t meant to be together. But if you come to this conclusion, make sure you part ways with respect for her. I mean, the chick pushed something the size of a watermelon out of something the size of a lemon. Respect her, damnit! She is also your child's mother. You two owe it to that child to be kind to one another and try and get along. I know it's not easy, bruh, but you have to try.

If you still need more help, don’t hesitate to send a request to lrl.advice@hotmail.com and write in the subject line: Sponsored. Let me know, in the Email, if you want the rest of our interaction to be secret. I list my fees so you’ll know how much I charge for extra advice (meditation and further conversation via telephone). Or you can just pay an easy $5.00 dollars and I’ll send a one page report back to you, giving you an idea of what you should do, what you couldn’t see in the past, and what to expect in the future.

- Trew Life

Asleep Beneath the Flowers

2007-05-16T19:33:00.000-05:00

Does My Immortal Soul Have A Price Tag?

2007-04-30T20:56:00.001-05:00

I was interested in gathering more information about the Kabbalah. I wanted to understand some of the teaching that Jesus Christ (or Yashua) followed and believed.

I conducted a Google! search and put in the true name of God, Yahweh, the English reading of יהוה (the Tetragrammaton), the name of the God of the Jews or the people of Israel.

I stumbled across a website called Kabbalah.com. It seemed so filled with wisdom and hope. I was taken by the promise to show people the way of the kabbalist.

When I called their 1-800 number, a man answered by the name of Moshe. He kept asking me if there were things in my life that I wanted to have changed. I told him that I wanted more of a spiritual connection with God.

“Do you wish to have a certain job, or do you wish to make more money?” he asked me. I thought to myself, WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH HIM? I just told him that I am content with where I’m at as long as I know where I’m going. I wanted more spiritual guidance.

Then he goes on to tell me that I need to purchase their Zohar, which is $490 dollars, or something in the $400 dollar price range. He tells me I need to purchase another book, which is $199, plus shipping and handling on both the books would come up to $40 bucks…

Okay…

Did they honestly expect me to pay that much? I guess, some practices require a lot of money, but any spiritual guidance or practice that costs me over $600 dollars can wait.

These spiritualists say, “There should be no price tag on your immortal soul.” I say, “BULLSHIT!” If I could afford a $600 dollar book I’d probably spend that money to make my own spiritual course, and promise people the same things these phony psychics promise: love, relationships, and money.

I Dreamt. Was America Being Attacked?

2007-04-30T20:55:00.000-05:00

I had the craziest dream that last night. I haven’t experienced a dream like this one in a long time.

Dreams seem like fabrications of our imagination, strung together from past experiences to create a feeling and emotion.

Emotions.

Feelings.

Thoughts.

Warnings? But I ask myself, “Self?”

Self says, “Yes, Self?”

“What is the significance of dreams? Where do they come from? Why do they exist?”

The dream (Paraphrased)

I was in a car with my favorite cousin, and a close mutual friend of ours, who passed away last year. We were on our way to a University for something; I can’t remember.

*This section is blank… There is no memory of it*

Next thing I know, we’re walking across the campus, and we hear a loud explosion. It vibrated so hard, sending shivers up and down my body. The impact of the blast caused my vision to become unfocused somewhat.

When I looked into the sky, I saw a ball of flames. I knew, at that moment, the war made its way to America. I panicked, hit the ground and covered up my head. My cousin picked my stiff body up, and screamed, “What the fuck are you lying down for? Do you want to get blown up?”

We started running across the campus, balls of fire climbing high in the sky, followed by a squirting sound. Screams of other individuals rang through the night, causing that elusive feeling of utter terror beyond image and belief.

As I was running toward one of the park lots, I felt the ground shaking underneath me. I looked down and saw the concrete cracking, a glowing, hot stream of lava pushing its way through the ground. Suddenly, the lava trail stopped...

Silence... I realized that these things were not exploding simultaneously.

BOOM! The ground exploded, shards of concrete, rock, and dirt went flying into the air, along with a ball of fire. My heart stopped, but I knew I had to make my way to my car.

When the fire ball stopped climbing to the heavens, it disappeared into the night sky, and this purple-looking liquid sprang from the busted concrete. Some of the liquid fell on my face, and arm, burned the shit out of me.

I ran to the parking lot where my car was supposed to be at, and I found nothing. My car was missing. Contrary to the actions I may have performed in my dream, I am a very nice young man, but during those few moments, I made up in my mind to hot-wire someone’s car and get the fuck up out of there.

A friend of mine started the car up, how, I didn’t bother to ask.

Next, Reese Witherspoon came up to me, hair the color of hay, and looked at me cross. She walked up to this white car that I choose to steal.

“Terry, what are you doing?” she asked me.

“This isn’t my car. I know this. But I am not about to be walking around here on foot while these things blow up right under my slow walking feet!” I screamed.

“As an officer of the law, I’m going to have to ask you to escort the vehicle or you’ll be charged with grand theft auto.”

“What?” I asked. She wasn’t making any sense. When did she go to law school (besides Legally Blonde 1 and 2)?

Then, what saved my life at that moment (because I was going to go to jail or get blown up) happened.

My phone rang, and I woke up. I was grunting and tossing myself back and forth. It seemed like some shit right out of a movie. It’s been so long since I’ve had a dream like that. I wonder what it meant.

Aren't We All Entitled To A Fuckin' Opinion?

2007-04-30T20:53:00.000-05:00

I can’t image not ever seeing the movie Déjà Vu. It was a wonderful story, in my opinion. Of course, this is just my opinion. But what words don’t I put on my blog that aren't opinionated?

On to other news…

*Turns and faces another camera angle*

The high school I attended and graduated from, Toledo School for the Arts, wanted a grant in order to do some programs for local students. They wanted to get more frosh high schoolers participating in activities involved more in the arts during the summer. But guess fuckin’ what! The $200,000 dollars they needed in order to start the project isn’t available because it’s being sent to participate in the WAR THAT OUR PRESIDENT THINKS IS AIDING EVERYONE!

Ya know, I think Bush thinks those real people fighting in the war are like his human G.I. Joes or something. Who really spends 2 BILLION dollars a day on a war and nothing is getting better?

And how in the fuck were people actually actively trying to impeach former president, Clinton for getting his dick sucked, but we can’t do shit about Bush-

Now, wait. I know you’ll say, “Tee, man, it’s hard as hell to get a president impeached.”

But I find it FUCKED up that Lincoln and Kennedy were assassinated, but Bush is still throwing motherfuckas overseas to fight in the war. This doesn’t mean I wish any harm to our president. I just don’t like the way he is running the country (You say, “Tell us something we all aren’t thinking.”), and I feel good presidents shouldn't have deserved to die while one of the worst presidents waves his arms in the air and speaks bullshit with enthusiasm.

I'll admit, he must have studied Adolf Hitler, because he used the same tactic that killer used: he spoke well and deceived. But I tell you my opinion, because, like I said earlier in this post (go on and look at what I said in the first paragraph), this is an opinionated blog.

P.S (post-script). Can someone please tell my how Clinton getting his dick sucked by some slutty looking woman was costing us 2 BILLION dollars? Was he using gold covered condoms or something?

Pushing This Book from My Vagina...??

2007-04-30T20:52:00.000-05:00

I found myself on the floor, literally, cursing Writingup for not allowing me to post about my thoughts, problems, and concerns for the past two days. I don’t know if it was just the location I was in, but I wasn’t able to access anything.

Guess what, ya’ll…
I have written 75, 536 words on my novel, A Bitch’s Gospel. I have 5,000 more to go before I am officially finished with the first draft. I’m so happy I could just shit. This is like pushing an eight-pound baby from my imaginary vagina.

Me On My Birthday!!!!

2007-04-18T18:21:00.000-05:00

Jealousy: The Green Eyed Monster

2007-03-08T17:23:00.000-05:00

We've all seen the Green Eyed Monster. This, my friends, is jealousy. While it seems to be the thorn in everyone's side, could it be that jealousy is a sign of major love?

Question

What is jealousy?

Post

Jealousy comes across immediately as aggressiveness, self-doubt, and fear. And in actuality, that's what it is. Some people give expression to jealousy, pursuing their lovers with accusations and turning their lover's life into hell. But an even more difficult situation is when a person who is jealous keeps his or her feeling hidden, letting the torture reside inside. In this case, jealousy becomes more dangerous because the person doesn't have anyway to get it out. It's kinda like when you're constipated and it just kills you keeping it inside.

Question

Is there any way you can cope with this feeling?

Post

The best thing to do in regards to jealousy is to realize:

If your mate does not want to be with you they'll find a way to cheat or leave you.

I don't care how much to run around in a cheap Lil' Kim wig, large sunglasses and trench coat, trying to hide your identity while you spy, he's going to cheat. The thing that's left up to the jealous asshole is ending the relationship on a happy note.

Constantly accusing your mate of cheating will not make them want to stay with you. If you find out they've been cheating, confront it and move on. People need to stop thinking that they can't live without an individual. Trust me, you can.

I've been burned a many times by cheaters, and I've realized that once you see the signs, confront it, if it's proven, move on. Neither one of you has the time to constantly be jealous and wonder where your mate is 24/7, and if you do you really need to get a LIFE.

Jennifer Hudson Grabs Oscar and Loves Every Minute of It

2007-02-26T13:14:00.000-05:00

So Jennifer Hudson won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress. I had to be one of the first to post on this wonderful issue. This proves that through passion and determination anyone can succeed.

The Dreamgirls diva thanked God twice, and she should have. Lord knows she worked hard to get where she is today.

Best known for her role as Effie White in the 2006 film version of the Broadway musical Dreamgirls, vocalist/actress Jennifer Hudson was first brought to the public's attention while a contestant on the third season of the reality show vocal competition American Idol. Born in 1981 in Chicago, IL, Hudson sang from a young age, first performing in her church. Various talent shows and school musical productions followed until she eventually secured a role in a local Chicago production of the musical Big River. Prior to auditioning for American Idol, Hudson also sang professionally while working on the Disney Wonder cruise ship.

_______________________________________________________________

Besides the usual bore of the Academy Awards, Ellen was extremely funny in her own special way. And those shadow people behind the screen was a real treat...

I was overly excited that Martin Scorsese won the oscar for Best Director, and The Departed won for the Best Picture! One of my favorite directors.

Until the next post, much LOVE, PEACE AND EMPATHY!

CONGRATS, JENNIFER!!!!!

Hooker Dates Jackass, Playa, and Liar!

2007-02-26T13:10:00.000-05:00

When it comes to dating, this new generation likes to try out 2, 3, maybe even 4 individuals at one time. Almost like receiving a 30-day risk free trial run.

Question

How can you get to know someone personally enough if you're dating more than one person? And if you do pick one person, is it fair to the individuals you've led on?

Post

My friend, Hooker, decided she wanted to date Playa, Jackass, and Liar all at the same time. She went to places with each one:

Playa- Deutsch Island

Jackass- Hot Carl Restaurant

Liar- Pearl Necklace Jewelers

All three of these guys had skeletons in his closet.

-Playa had six girlfriends, f***ed lambs (as well as his cousin, Michael). He made over 60k a year from (drugs?) God knows what.

-Jackass had low self-esteem because his older brother, Pro Lawyer, was always praised by family and friends, yet he was looked down on because he had some stupid idea about making money online blogging (Google, Yahoo!, Myspace, Plenty of Fish, Darren Rowse, Steve Pavlina... the idea of making money online, yeah, right!).

-Liar told... Well,, this is self explanatory, huh? But Liar made 100k a year as a successful broker (TD.GAD.AY! was asked not to disclose this information).

So who did Hooker choose? Liar. Because se didn't get to know Jackass better, she couldn't find out that he's never cheated on any woman he's been with, he's not gay, a pedophiliac, and his online blogging community idea nets him about 50k every two months!

Instead, she found out that Liar's favorite book was that crap O.J. wrote about how he would kill his wife, he has a fisting porn fetish, and wants to try it out on her! Oh, and he cheated on her with the entire cast of Sex in the City... Literally every single member (crew and cast... that are gay and a woman).

Conclusion

Stick to one date, people. In the first week, date maybe 2 people at the same time, but don't let it go longer than that. With all the STDs spreading like crazy, it's best to keep it simple.

Is True Trust BS?

Obsession and Passion. What's the Difference?

DL Midget Pumpers and Carpet Feasters

Re: Opinion- "Leave Britney Alone"

2007-02-23T14:53:00.000-05:00

Dear Trew,

I am so tired of hearing stories about Britney Spears. Everyone is making her seem like she is crazy, but maybe her heart is just broken. I read you blog daily and I expected more of you. Please, stop flashing her pain across the television and Internet. Just let her grieve.

Anonymous
________________________________________________________

Dear Anonymous

This is life, Sweetheart. I've had my soul burned and my heart spat on plenty of times. The news traveled around the job. I came to work in all black, head down and feeling like shit. People still continued to talk.

I also don't understand how you expect more from me. This website is about LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS and LIFE. That's what I write about. This mess with Britney... You guessed it. It encompasses all of those things I labeled in all caps above.

Chill out. I'm not posting anything that has not been posted on a million other websites by now. But for the sake of happiness, I won't post another blog about Britney Spears... for the next 24 hours!

-Trew Life

Britneys A Woman Scorned!

2007-02-23T14:41:00.000-05:00

"Britney went to Kevin's house in the San Fernando Valley last night around 7 pm and rang the bell at his gate three times with no answer. She was so frustrated that when her assistant stopped the car, Britney grabbed an umbrella and went after our photographers," the paparazzi agency X17 said.

Can you see that damn picture above this post? Look at it for a moment. Okay, now look at this:
Who would have thought she would change so drastically. This proves that some child stars shouldn't have been stars in the first place. Is all of this in regards to love gone bad. In my previous post Britney Breaks Down Because of Love I threw the logic around that she went crazy from being dumped. And I know plenty females who do some while things where "let go" by a boyfriend or husband.

But there is a happy ending to this story Gadies and Lentlemen. When Britney rang at Kevin's, he was inside the damn house with the babies. He left thirty minutes later and headed to the couple's former Malibu's Serra Retreat where Britney was waiting.

Its said that she calmed herself down enough and perhaps made a deal with Kevin regarding Jayden and Sean because late last night, Britney went back to Promises rehab center. And then Kevin's emergency hearing today was cancelled.

Britney Breaks Down Because of Love

Britney Wants Justin Back. WTF!?

Drinking and Driving. Pointless Story or Entertainment?

2007-02-22T16:00:00.001-05:00

The Post

A friend called me up last night, speech slurring and bubbles lightly floating out of his mouth. He was excited about what had happened to him just thirty minutes earlier.

Apparently he and his friends were joy riding while filthy drunk. They were stopped by a cop and, upon seeing that my friend was the drunk driver, asked my friend to get in the backseat. Then he turned to the passengers and asked, “I’ma need one of you boys to drive this baby home.”

I thought to myself, If the driver is drunk, the passengers are FUCKED UP as well.

I’m happy to say that my friend’s friend, Martyr ( real name protected so that real person doesn’t try and sue TD.GAD.AY for defamation of character) drove them all home safely… but not before almost running them into a pole (my friend’s exact words were, “He almost ran into a parked pole.” Now tell me if that sounds right), and running over an elderly woman who was jogging at midnight. WHAT ELDERLY WOMAN JOGS AT MIDNIGHT, AND IN THE INNER CITY?

Conclusion

If you’re going to drink and drive, make sure the designated driver only takes a sip. I’m a bad influence- make sure he doesn’t drink any. And if you all drink, make sure the driver is a good actor. He can pretend to be sober, and you guys could get away with it.

This post has been brought to you by TD.GAD.AY.

If Sploggers Can Make Money So Can We!

2007-02-21T19:06:00.000-05:00

When I found out how drastic the situation is with Splogs, I completely flipped my wig (went crazy!)! The amount of money they're bringing in is insane. The sad part about it is they're ruining the blogosphere, yet what they are doing is not illegal. And they're cashing in(!) on simple techniques.

Splog= Spam + Blog

Sploggers put up sites that are mainly for advertising purposes. What they'll do is put up a site similar to Hotmail called www.homtail.com. Of course HOMTAIL is not the same as HOTMAIL. They do this because people often misspell the word and end up putting in HOMTAIL. This, of course, is a rather open and adult site, as the title explains that. I'm sure when writingup.com gets more popular, they'll be a splog online like: www.writinup.com. You notice what's missing? WRITINUP.COM instead of WRITINGUP.COM.

Three splogs made over $75,000.00 dollars between the months of August and October of 2005. These were just splogs! Can you image how much money is in the blogosphere? Well, if you've signed up for writingup.com, you have a clue. This proves that blogging can bring in nice money. And depending on how good your blog is, it can make you rich almost over night.

I've done some research and found out why and how these websites make so much money. They have link pages that are on their website. They link to websites that have over thousands of links which puts them higher in the search engines. They also fill their splogs with keywords and garbage. A site might say:

Seek a feather, mercury sites, banged upsite the nozzle. Make shift gun powder, hairy seeing glasses...

And this type of stuff will go on and on. The key is that they fill this crap with high paying keywords. A person will go to this website and click on the many ads they have around the content and KA-CHING! The owner is making money.

They're website titles are also filled with keywords. In the upper lefthand corner you'll see:

Money-marriage-cars-clothes-phones-dating-acting-blogs and birds

From this title they will receive high rank with Google because the title suggests they have lots of content and info for readers. In reality, they don't!

Now, of course Google, Yahoo and MSN are trying to fix this problem. They are making where computers can't put out spam blogs for people to go to. I mean, if lots of people keep going to websites that have no good content and are only used for revenue, they'll stop googling or whatever else they do to reach these websites. This will be bad for the search engines and they'll loose people's interest.

You can, however make this type of money if you have these three things:

1. Good Content/Lots of Content

2. High Paying Keywords

3. Sufficient Number of Links to Your Blog/Website

This information, while discouraging to the positive bloggers and blog readers, is a plus for people who wish to make money online. Doing it the right way can ensure constant readers, which mean more visitors, more clicks and

KA-CHING! More money. Happy blogging!

Terry J. Snipes

Technorati tags: money, blog, splog

Terry is Back... And So Is TD.GAD.AY

2007-02-21T18:51:00.000-05:00

Terry went on a far away trip, maybe to pilgrimage in Aruba or someplace, but its evident he was not around for a while. Oh yes, blogs were popping up occasionally by him, but he was lost in a bucket of common prose, and stranded on No Inspiration Road.

What is the difference from me now and me then? Nothing. Why the hell was I speaking in third person? Who gives a damn?

I want you all to be aware of TD.GAD.AY. This is almost an everyday repeatable affirmation that is to be sung while you bang your husband or wife. It is to be yelled across telephone lines and through cell phones to friends, boyfriends, girlfriends and family members.

If you don’t know what the acronym means, just click on the word TD.GAD.AY.

R&R: Relationship and Recipes- Avoiding the Cheese!

2007-02-21T18:01:00.000-05:00

Don’t you hate to go to a club or bar and have the most unattractive man hitting on you? Okay, well, usually the man isn’t physically unattractive, but his lines are. So many times women get caught at a bar with a guy named Rich who’s breath smells like Vodka and he wrecks of some cheap smelling after-shave.

The thing that will make a woman the most uncomfortable is the fact that the guy’s lines are so damn corny. It’s like, if you want me to be interested then please act natural. The one exception I can see being made in this situation is when a man is mocking other men who do the cheesy line stuff. Then its okay to laugh and pay a little more attention. But then they are left in more of a worse position than the cheesy guy. Because while the cheesy guy is being honestly cheesy, the mocking guy could be just as cheesy and made fun of someone who he is 65% like anyway.

To avoid going through this type of torture always make sure that you spark up a small 1 minute conversation with the bartender and the guy next to you. Even if the guy is not your type, make sure that you let him know you just want to talk. This is a small way at keeping the timid cheesy guys at bay.

Next, if a guy sits next to you and you can read the signs of a cheese, still give them the benefit of the doubt. But once he turns to you and says the line... something like, “I like you. You’re just like me. When I R.S.V.P. to a party, I make it my job to cum,” and smiles, then you know it’s time to cross one leg over the other, making sure your buttocks is facing him but not giving him too much to make him think you want him to cop a feel.

If this technique does not work and he continues to spit the awful lines at you, just politely touch the guy’s shoulder who you were initially talking to. Once you do this, the guy will be away from you in 2.5 seconds.

And we all know that if this doesn’t work it’s best to grab your purse and get the hell out of dodge. I normally wouldn’t suggest that anyone stop having a good time because of a nuisance. But the questions is: would you keep running in a park if you heard gunshots? No, you’d get the hell out of the way and say, “I’ll jog another time.” Same thought process here.

Below I have listed a recipe for- you guessed it- Cheese Ham Strata. Until the next time I post, watch out for the “cheese.”

Cheese Ham Strata

8 slices white bread
2 c. cheddar cheese, grated
3 c. buttermilk
4 eggs, beaten2 tsp Worcestershire sauce
3/4 tsp dry mustard
½ teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon pepper
½ c. sliced ham, chopped

Alternate buttered layers of bread, cheese, and ham in a greased baking dish, ending with cheese on top. Mix remaining ingredients and pour over layers. Allow to stand one hour in refrigerator. Bake at 325 degrees Fahrenheit for 50 to 60 minutes or until golden brown on top. Cut into squares and serve.

Britney Breaks Down Because of Love

2007-02-20T15:02:00.000-05:00

Britney Spears has become a fixture on the nightclub circuit since her split in November from her then husband, Kevin Federline, a former backup dancer.

We all know about her cutting session, and we'll sympathize with her and say she's gotten a makeover (yeah... Makeover). But we all know it seems as if she'd having a nervous breakdown.

In case you didn't hear about the head shaving incident- if you have and never want to hear about it again, no problem just skip on to the next blog entry. I have more topics to browse through- here it is:

Spears' G.I. Jane-like Friday night began in the salon of Esther Tognozzi, who told the T.V. gossip show "Extra" that the beautician was afraid to shave Spears' head in case she was sued for ruining the singer's image.

After Tognozzi protested that Spears was maybe being "hormonal" and would feel differently the next day, Spears coolly "grabbed the buzzer and started shaving her own hair off. ... I just cleaned it up when she was done with it," she said.

Did her divorce has something to do with these wild antics? The transformation came on the same day People magazine and other entertainment media reported that Spears recently entered a rehabilitation center in the Caribbean island of Antigua and checked out a day later. But, as usual, the reports were denied by Spears' representatives.

It's amazing to see an individual mentally breakdown from love gone bad. Though I've never known anyone personally who shaved off their hair when they've been DUMPED, I've seen some crazy reactive actions from people.

And don't bother trying to go to the singer's website, it's closed down for the moment. Hopefully it's receiving a makeover like the former mouseketeer.

Britney Wants Justin Back. WTF!

Dating Websites

2007-02-20T14:47:00.000-05:00

I have been seeing so many dating websites popping up over the Internet, and I can't believe at one time I wanted one. It seems so damn hard to climb to the top of ALL the dating websites out there like Match.com, American Singles, and eHarmony. And even though Myspace is a friend/networking website, it acts like a dating website as well. This conglomerate is hard to go head up with- not that I'd try.

If I were going to start a dating/networking website, what would you like it to have?

DL Midget Pumpers and Carpet Feasters

2007-02-19T18:46:00.002-05:00

Below is an interesting subject I made about DL guys having sex with midgets and women who like to lick- no, not lick. FEAST! Women who like to feast on other women's carpet. It's so silly, I can't believe I recorded this podcast. Check it out.

Gabcast! Poetic #0 - DL Midget Pumpers and Carpet Feasters

A crazy rant about nothing in particular

Re: I cant take this

2007-02-19T16:13:00.000-05:00

Dear Trew,

I have been very depressed lately. Some times I feel like just killing myself. I know I shouldn't think like this, but times seem so hard. I just lost my job, my boyfriend of six months has completely stopped calling me, and I feel things are over. I'm trying to hold out but I dont think I can. Why does it hurt so bad?

Lonely
_____________________________________________

Dear Lonely,

It hurts so bad because it's LIFE! That is what life is: PAIN. Get use to it. We were not put on this earth to live overly comfortable lives. Even people with lots of money have to worry about family members and friends with emotional problems that drive them crazy.

Hell, look at Anna Nichole, for instance.

Life is not going to always be fun and games. Its best to live through the hard times so that you can help someone else who's going through the same thing by letting them know you made it.

I went through having my car break down, get fired, and separated from the female I was living with. On top of that, one of my best friends died. It was hard to wake up in the morning, but I never thought about giving up. I didn't because I knew I could help someone like you in the future.

Keep your head up and send me a message to lrl.advice@hotmail.com so that we can exchange numbers and I can chat with you. If things are really dragging you down, please seek a psychologist or a psychiatrist to help you get through.

Trew Life

Tyler Perry's Daddy's Little Girls gives love!

2007-02-19T16:01:00.000-05:00

Daddy's Little Girls, by Tyler Perry, was pretty decent. Of course, I probably wouldn't spend $9.50 to watch the movie again, I would most definitely buy it on DVD.

Tyler Perry is flexing his movie making muscles more and more, or he's trying to, at least. I suppose it's not all together easy to transfer from stage production to screen productions, but he's working it out.

Now you may ask, what does Daddy's Little Girls have to do with love? Tyler Perry delivers a likable odd-couple romance between the lead characters Julia- a hotshot Atlanta lawyer- and Monty- the nice guy mechanic- played by Idris Elba and Gabrielle Union.

They meet when he takes a part-time job as her driver. The tension begins when he starts humming and playing the radio. Before she has a chance to fire him, a cell phone sends him dashing to the hospital to find out what happened to his kids. She has to come along for the ride.

But its not the love between the two leads thats so astounding. Its the love between the father and his three daughters that make the movie so endearing.

With so many African American men dubbed as low-lifes, uneducated, and far from motivated to do anything with themselves, this movie is a refreshing look into responsibility because of love and not obligation.

The story has a pretty good plot. It would have been a better plot for a stage production, but this works on the silver screen. Check this out and let me know what you think by leaving a comment.

Clown Faces Are... Scary

2007-02-19T15:26:00.000-05:00

Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

So why would a guy kiss a woman who also has six tons of makeup piled on her face, and not laugh or take her less seriously?

Women, some of you really need to lay off the pounds and pounds of the stuff. Some of you pile it on so thick that it looks ridiculous. Clown faces on wanna-be Jessica Rabbit bodies.

Most of you are beautiful (by Hollywood and model standards) without all that stuff. I say most, because some women do need to wear some makeup, especially if they're in the entertainment business.

I know, I know, you say, "Trew, you don't know how it is looking pretty in the mourning time..." I meant to say morning time.

The answer is: yes-the-hell-I-do. I went to a performing arts high school and graduated to delve heavily into the music and acting world. And let me tell you: IMAGE IS EVERYTHING! I went through terrible years of bad acne problems. This means scaring, uneven skin tone, and irritation beyond belief.

Because I'm a man, I can't wear makeup, and if it was okay, I probably wouldn't like to wear it anyway. But when I had to do a commercial or a poster for the play I'd be in, I had to put on the makeup, and let me tell you, it make my skin feel worse.

Try getting a mineral based makeup that works with your skin and doesn't seem like your face has been drawn on. Trust me, men like the natural a hell of a lot better.

Re: We have no time

2007-02-02T20:24:00.000-05:00

Dear Trew,

When it comes to me and my husband he’s always off on the road for business and I am trying to start a home business. The children are always at school, with their friends or at after school functions. It seems like I don’t know my family any more. What can I do to help change this?

Kelly D.
_____________________________________________________

Dear Kelly,

Now, Kelly, how do you expect to have a relationship without interaction? In case you didn’t realize, that was a rhetorical question. It can’t be done. This is one of the reasons why most of those celebrity marriages fail: they have no time to devote to one another.

Just the same as you making sure you don’t spend too much time away from you spouse, you also don’t want to be up under them 24/7. I would personally be like, “Chick, take a break, a nap, or something, please!” Yes, we are bonded by marriage (supposedly), but that doesn’t mean that you’ve got to be Siamese twins.

Set up a routine with one another so that you schedule events around your intermediate family, and not work. When it comes down to work or family, which one is more important? If you businesses fail, family will be there. If your family suffers, your business will to, trust me.

Write me back and let me know what you come up with, and thanks for sending in the question.

-Trew Life

Wanna Know: Guys are slobs

2007-02-02T20:06:00.000-05:00

I’m surprised that someone e-mailed me a Wanna Know rant already. I just launched the reader-active series yesterday. Most of my advice entries where sent from my other website and had been sitting for weeks. So here is the first Wanna Know Rant by Karol Stevens:

“Guys are such slobs. I don’t know why they expect so much from females when they walk around like their beer-belly asses don’t stink. A guy I was with about a week ago had the damn nerve to ask me to pay more attention to the stubble near my knee. Near my knee! Who the fuck cares? And if I wanted to be overly critical like his ass I could have told him to shave off half of his back hair. I love guys, but sometimes they make me sick. Sick Sick sick.”

Related Topics

Advice In the Form of a Rant
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Technorati tags: wanna know, life, rant, blog

Re: Im a living atm machine

2007-02-02T20:02:00.001-05:00

Dear Trew,

My girlfriend thinks I’m made of money. I’m in college and I work hard for the money I earn and I don’t want to give it all away to a chick just because she likes me. I want to break things off. How can I do it and not hurt her feelings?

Joseph
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Dear Joseph,

Myth: You can just ignore her phone calls and things will get a lot easier. She might even forget about everything and move on.

Truth: You are going to hurt her feelings if her heart is involved. If she’s a money hungry, gold-digging woman like you claim, then she won’t give a damn if you stay or go. She’ll find someone with money and be happy.

What we need to learn how to do is communicate. Have you tried telling this girl how you feel? Have you tried letting her know that you are not an ATM machine? If she still desires money, tell her that every time you want sex you’ll swipe a credit card down the crack of her ass symbolizing she’s been bought. Then see if she still just wants money.

-Trew Life

Technorati tags: advice, money, life, relationship

Re: me or the dog!

2007-02-02T19:59:00.001-05:00

Dear Trew,

When me and my boyfriend are having sex he lets the dog stay in the bedroom with us. I’ve told him I’m not comfortable with it and yet the damn dog ends up in the room again. What more can I do? Tell him its either the dog or me?

K.K.
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Dear K.K.

What the hell do you mean? You tell him it’s either dog or pooh-pooh! I would feel pretty damn bad if I had to give my partner an ultimatum of me or a dog. He should be choosing you, end of story.

On the flip-side, he’s a man. Men don’t think too hard about things of that nature. While it takes women lots of time, correct environment, and stimulation to get the excited, men can go in a garbage dump. Talk to him again. I’m sure he doesn’t prefer the dog in the room. And if he has to choose, you should be leaving.

-Trew Life

Technorati tags: advice, sex, life, relationship

Re: My boyfriends dad feels me up

2007-02-02T19:57:00.000-05:00

Dear Trew,

My boyfriend’s father always gives me nasty looks, and he feels me up when he hugs me. I don’t want to cuss his ass out in front of his son, but I’m afraid Lucas will think I’m lying and choose his father over me. He worships the ground his father walks on.

Tina
_______________________________________

Dear Tina,

Quite the predicament you’re in, huh? You must ask yourself, which one is more important: Your respect or your boyfriend? If you’ve never given him a reason to think you’re lying, and you confront him, he should take into consideration how you feel. If he can’t trust your word, do you really think that is someone who is going to have your best interest at heart? The only way to know is to tell him. Good luck, and follow-up telling me how things go.

-Trew Life

Related Topics

Re: Me or the Dog
FOLLOW-UP Re: Me or the dog

Re: I deamt she was dead

2007-02-02T19:53:00.000-05:00

Mr. Life,

I had a dream that I killed my girlfriend. What does it mean?

MC
________________________________________

Dear Mentally Confused,

Though my background is in psychology, you may need a psychiatrist. Are there some deep rooted issues that you have? What has she done to you for you to dream of killing her? Try speaking with her about this issue. You might scare her off, but she might- in turn- help you seek help in finding out where the dream came from.

-Trew Life

Britney Wants Justin Back. WTF!

2007-02-02T14:21:00.000-05:00

Here comes the subject of Britney Spears... again. What the hell is going on with HER!?

After screwing things up the first time, she went off and did her thing while Justin was with Cameron Diaz. He has been romantically linked to Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Biel as well. In this time the pop celebrity dated Isaac Cohen apparently in attempt to make Justin jealous.

Apparently Britney has been trying to call Justin Timberlake, TMZ sources revealed that Justin is not interested in being with Britney again. And can you blame him?

What a year Ms. Spears has been having so far. First the head shaving thing, and now she's running back to Justin for a "second chance." And if she was his first love, and Cameron Diaz is out of the picture, I think he might give it a chance. What do you think?

Who Love You, Baby?

2007-01-26T16:57:00.000-05:00

Who loves you, baby? Who supports your dreams, hopes, desires and goal? If you can’t answer this, you’re in trouble. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t believe that women (or men) need someone in their life to be secure, but truth of the matter is: when we have supporters, they help us cope.

Leave a comment stating who your supporters are and how they support you. The next post will be an assessment test telling you what type of individual you are. Filling it out can help you discover what type of personality you have and who is compatible with you.

Visit My Newest Blog!!! Trew Life Advice

2007-01-23T16:47:00.000-05:00

Visit My New Blog By Clicking On The Banner Below!

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You’re Oil, the Family is Water

2007-01-13T19:34:00.000-05:00

Family can sometimes be very judgmental of the things you do. When it gets to the point where your family constantly discourages you, what do you do? We’ve heard the saying, “Blood is thicker than water,” time and time again, but is it true? In my experience, family will consider themselves water, and consider you oil. What happens when oil is put into water? It rises to the top. I suppose that’s how we must all think.

It sucks knowing that lots of family members don’t believe in you or your dreams until you make it somewhere. Look at how many stars receive phone calls from uncles, cousins, and aunts once they become successful. These same people didn’t know where a phone was to call those stars up and say, “hey.”

Conclusion

If you have a dream of doing anything at all and your family tells you that it can’t be done, or they don’t support you; think of yourself as oil and think of them as water. Though they try and make you seem like the dirty impure mind and spirit, remember that you will rise to the top.

Your Representative, and how they can get you into trouble!

2007-01-13T19:32:00.000-05:00

When going out on a first date, or even an interview, lots of us introduce our representatives. You might ask yourself, “Who is my representative?” Well, I’ll be more than happy to tell you.

Representative- your alter ego, the personality that swoops in when it’s time to impress someone. This representative will laugh at jokes you’d normally be stoned faced at. This representative could give a damn about The Apprentice, but likes the show when getting to know that special someone.

Okay, the problem with our representatives is that while they give a wonderful first impression, they are not fully you. We all need to know how to put our representatives on hold and show a potential candidate (boyfriend/girlfriend) the real us. Do this and relationships should last a lot longer than what they last.

So Many Damn Rules When It Comes To Dating

2007-01-13T19:30:00.000-05:00

What’s up with these dating rules? There are so many rules that come along with a damn date that it all becomes ridiculous. Remember when a date used to be fun? Of course, we’ve all had our share of bad dates. You met a guy who looks great, is tall, handsome, mature and focused… Well that’s how it appears, because this guy actually sells socks online and only makes about $5.00 a week. God forbid you live in an expensive city like New York. How the hell is this type of guy paying his rent?

Ladies, you’re not excluded. You’ll meet a guy and have on a $200 dollar purse, and less than $10 dollars to put inside of it, yet you’re screaming that a man has to make money and BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. In my experience, it’s a couple’s job- if the relationship ever gets to marriage- to work as a team. Some men still follow the barbaric, “I Work, You Clean” tradition, but that was when women didn’t have as many career choices as men did. Now that women are becoming more doctors, lawyers and POSSIBLE FUTURE PRESIDENTS, do you think I’ll spend $100 dollars on a meal each time I go out on a date and this woman is probably counting more Benjamin Franklins than I am?

Now don’t get me confused with a guy who wants to be supported by a woman. For the sake of romance, I’d pay for the first date, and maybe the second. But if thoughts pop up into our heads about having a relationship, I want her to pull out her pocket book. You want to know why? Because I need to start finding out if we’re financially compatible. If we fall on hard times, can we pull together as a team and work through it? But that’s going way further than the first date, isn’t it?

The truth of the matter is: there are rules that must be obeyed. But at the same time, you were asked to go out on a date because you are a human being, not a robot. And this is real life, not an exam- well I guess it is slightly an exam. But I’d hate for a female to give me an image of a perfect gal and it’s false. She’d tell me, a week later, “Oh, I really am a homicidal maniac. I just wanted to pass the first date exam.”

Assignment from LRL- “Ideal Candidate”

2007-01-13T19:29:00.000-05:00

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write two paragraphs stating what you see in the “ideal” mate. Try not to go for perfect, just try and go for realistic desires. This assignment is due in one week. I will post the most interesting and realistic paragraph. Good luck!

E-mail Advice- "Husband wants to read while I sleep"

2007-01-13T19:26:00.000-05:00

Dear Poetiq,

I have been reading your blog for a while. I hadn’t seen many E-mail Advice posts, and I was nervous about sending you an e-mail about my problems. I don’t even know if this will be published, and even if it’s not published, I hope that you can take the time out to answer my concerns. I am having trouble understanding why I’ve given up in my life. I tried to make my marriage work. My problems are not as lewd and outrageous as the other people’s problems who’ve wrote you, but I just want my husband back. One week I want to make it work, the next week I feel like giving up. He’s moved out of the house and I haven’t seen him in a week. We have been trying to get pregnant and I really want things to work out. I am 36 years old. I shouldn’t have to go through this. Please help me.

Erika J.

----------------------------------------------------

Dear Erika,

Thanks a lot for the kind words about Love, Relationships and Life. Yes, I still receive e-mail questions. I have not posted a lot because I wanted to wait until the new blog design was up.

Beyond the lights, glamour and money, most stars live very stressful, and sometimes depressing lives. It’s true. And you know what’s worse than stars who are stressed or depressed, stars who feel this way when they don’t really love what they are doing for a living. The same goes with you, Erika. Be real for a second here. If you ever have to question whether you want to be in the relationship or not, then you shouldn’t be there. And the fact that you are being hurt and a part of you is saying, “leave,” doesn’t make the situation any better.

I understand that you want your husband to be by your side, but you said best yourself: “One week I want to work it out, the next week I feel like giving up.” You want to know why you feel this way? It’s because deep down inside you’d rather give up on the marriage. Oh, yes. Who gets married to feel that type of pain? Yet, when you think about your age and the fact that you haven’t had a child, you choose to stay. Then other questions must facture into the equation: How many friends and family are constantly in your relationship; have you been telling lots of people that you’ll be pregnant soon; and do you expect your husband to change?

Please, write me back telling me how long these problems have been happening, how long you’ve been trying to get pregnant, and how long the two of you have been married. I look forward to hearing from you, Erika

Happy New Year's!

2007-01-13T19:25:00.000-05:00

We all welcome in the New Year with a smile and a joyous attitude. We set New Year resolutions and strive for success in our future. Is the New Year a motivational tool? Yes. But it’s funny how many individuals never achieve the goals they set for the New Year. It’s amazing how many people start things in the New Year like trying to stop smoking; loose weight; be neater; or get better grades in school, but it never fully goals through.

What other ways can we motivate ourselves to get our asses up and take care of business? If you want to start your own business, if you want to find love, or if you want to loose the fat, is it safe to say, “Just do it!”? I think so. So happy New Year, and try to work harder and enjoy the new adventures you’ll experience when entering into the later half of this decade.

E-mail Advice- "He wont apologize"

2006-12-16T21:35:00.000-05:00

Dear Expression,

I broke up with my boyfriend to test whether he would make up with me and apologize for staring at this one woman at this benefit we went to. The only problem is he has not called me in four days and I feel he might have moved on. What can I do to get him to call me and apologize.

Pissed off woman

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Dear Pissed Off Woman,

It is extremely insane for you to believe that your boyfriend- not husband- will apologize to you because he stared at a woman during a benefit show. I understand that some couples are a tad jealous- Hell, I am very over protective of my girlfriend- but he didn’t have sex with this woman (as far as you know, but that could be the case with any woman he looks or any man you look at).

If I were he, I wouldn’t apologize to you either. And if you broke up with him because of something so silly and unimportant, maybe you two shouldn’t be together. You should be with someone who feels like he is prison. I don’t condone cheating what so ever, but I’d rather my girl looked at another man rather than tried to screw him. Be happy that he is just looking and not touching. If you want him back, call him up and tell him you’re sorry. If your pride is too strong to do that then start looking for another man.

How Important Are Your Goals?

2006-12-14T18:28:00.000-05:00

There comes a time in every individual’s life when they must decide how important their goals are. This is where something called “passion” comes into play. How passionate are you regarding your goals? Do you have the indomitable spirit to maintain an optimistic attitude when striving for achievements of your goals? It takes determination, tenacity, consistency and thick skin in order to make it in whatever it is you do. I’m sure you’d agree with me on that.

I know of a female who decided there were a lot of things that she wanted to do. She wanted to go into criminal justice; later deciding that painting was the artistic goal that she wanted to achieve. It turns out that this girl has never finished a painting in her life, but she plans on going to California to sell her paintings. No, wait. She’s changed that to New York City, and she will be selling hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of paintings there within the next few months. Is this a dream or could this be reality?

Hmmm… This doesn’t sound very passionate, does it? When you want to do something, you should have a hunger for it. Let’s say you have not eaten in two days and you haven’t done the thing in which you love to do in two days (be it writing, acting, dancing, painting, producing, directing, relationship matters, or whatever). The opportunity comes along for you to either eat your favorite dinner or get a shot at what you always “claim” you’ve wanted to do. Which one would you take? If you answered this question by saying you’d rather eat that favorite dinner, then whatever it is you’re saying you love to do, maybe you should reconsider.

*If you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at lrl.advice@hotmail.com . I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on LRL.com!

Too Much Damn Love

2006-12-14T12:08:00.000-05:00

Too Much Love

Some people find it rather annoying to be hugged up with their loved one too often. Most people would rather their mates didn’t say the words “I love you,” too often, hug them too often, or kiss each other too often. It almost seems like they only want the physical connection of sex.

Now, for all of you who feel it rather stupid to be openly affectionate with your mate, I suggest you tone that BS down a tad bit. I’m saying over-do it, I’m saying that you should open up a little more. What would happen if your mate died, or you died and the last words you said to them was, “I have to shit,” or something? Then what?

Suggestion:

Try telling your mate you love them every time that you are not going to see them for longer than a three hour time span. Again, lots of people feel like this action is going too far, but if would be nice to have your last words be, “I love you,” instead of, “I’ve got to shit.”

When you get the chance, hug and kiss your mate and validate their beauty or worth. Trust me, both you and your mate will appreciate it in the long run…

Coming up…

…more topics on what to do when a lover dies

Related Posts

When Your Lover Dies... How To Deal

*If you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at lrl.advice@hotmail.com . I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on LRL.com!

Saying "I Love You" Too Fast

2006-12-14T12:00:00.000-05:00

If you’ve only known your beau for two weeks, is it safe to say that you shouldn’t be telling them you love ‘im? I mean, come on now, how can you love someone when you barely know who they are?

Take SHALLOW BASIC HEIFER, for instance. She was with this guy for only about a week in a half. The guy started spewing all this crap about he loved her. She, of course, felt like he must be telling the truth, because in her experience, a man rarely says I love you quickly. I mean, they were making plans to move in together, though he would only see her for about 15 minutes a day, maybe four days a week. How can you move in with someone and you don’t know how they handle their finances or anything?

SHALLOW BASIC HEIFER took a trip to the guy’s house one day, only to see a “for sale” sign in the front yard. The blinds and curtains on the windows were off and she peered inside to see an empty home. This makes Luther Vandross’ words so potant: “A chair is not a chair, unless there’s someone sitting there.” LOL. I had to add a little humor.

So the guy up and moved, changed his phone number and stopped checking is AOL and Yahoo! Messenger. What is the lesson learned?

When a person says, “I love you,” within the first two weeks, they’re lying. Sometimes people find love a first sight. What you’re experiencing isn’t the case. Turn around and run away… Before they do it first.

When Your Lover Dies... How To Deal

2006-12-13T23:48:00.000-05:00

You tell your boyfriend or girlfriend that you love them on Tuesday. On Wednesday, the both of you get into a fight and you don’t speak to them the rest of the day. You don’t speak to them on Thursday as well. On Friday they die. What a damn scenario? What do you do when someone you love dies? There have been lots of people who’ve gone through this issue. Someone looses a parent, sibling, uncle, aunt, or cousin. But what happens when you loose a lover?

Shanise, a 25 year old woman- who was married to David, a 27 year old kind hearted man- experienced this lose not too long ago. The pain was palpable, of course.

Knowing that you didn’t say goodbye or that you love them, how would that feel knowing that the last few words you spoke to them was through an argument? That would kill me, personally. And in what ways do you try to get over this? Can you ever get over this?

I will post a series on this topic. If you have any comments, before the posts start, please feel free to leave a comment. Until the next post, much love, peace and empathy.

Related Posts

Too Much Damn Love

*If you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at lrl.advice@hotmail.com . I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on LRL.com!

How To Love Yourself

2006-12-09T16:14:00.000-05:00

This week we must try and figure out ways to love our selves more and more. It might be hard for lots of us to find out ways in which we can learn to love ourselves more, but we must make up our minds to understand that we can still be humble as well as have high self esteem. What ways do you tell yourself that you are special?

*If you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at lrl.advice@hotmail.com . I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on LRL.com!

Americans Are Spoiled Like Two Month Old Milk

2006-12-08T12:24:00.000-05:00

Have you ever realized how spoiled Americans are? Get closer to us... Really! We smell like two month old spoiled milk that was just squirted out the ass of a Walrus. We always seem to want our cake and eat it to. When it comes to a monogamous relationship, why do people find it so hard to stay with the same person longer than 6 months?

Americans will live in Atlanta, move to California and stay there for eight years. After a while, they’re ready to move somewhere else because they’re bored with the city. They say they’ve done everything there is to do in that city.

So is it safe to say that Americans are never satisfied? And after having our cake and eating it for so long, do we not only want the cake, but we also seek the ice-cream, milk, balloons and party favors as well?

This question was pounding my brain repeatedly. I never understood why we (humans) get so bored so quickly with things before we try and make the situation better. We found it so easy to give up then try because there is always something new and shinny around the corner. We tend to stop appreciating the things that we have.

Hmmm. Something very interesting to think about.

*If you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at lrl.advice@hotmail.com . I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on LRL.com!

Lookin' Like A Real You!

2006-12-01T15:45:00.000-05:00

As I sat at home waiting for a taste of the scrumptious chicken BLT salad I purchased from Wendy’s (overly desirous sounds spewing from my stomach), I thought about the pretty painting of perfection everyone tries to paint. When it comes to getting to know someone better, do you find it slightly odd that people give an image of a near “perfect” image? After awhile of dating, or getting to know someone, it’s kind of fucked up that you only find out exactly who they are after a few months of dating. Could this be the reason why there are so many divorces now-a-days? People are so quick to jump into a marriage, though they barely know each other, and come to the conclusion- up to a year later- that they don’t mesh well together.

The question that presents it’s self is: how do you show your imperfect self and still impress someone who you are romantically interested in?

The true answer to this question is: there is no way to achieve this! If a person likes you then they will embrace your flaws. I’d love for someone to be able to take my constant philosophical over-thinking. When my girlfriend and I first started dating, I loved everything about her. After awhile I started noticing things that she kept a secret in the beginning. Luckily for me she let the cat out of the bag, sort to say, a couple of times so I was slightly prepared.

Sometimes these spontaneously clairvoyant discoveries can cause a relationship to befall upon a stronger connection, but in most cases it causes the individual who was left in the dark to feel like they were deceived and cheated into being in the relationship. They’ll say, “I fell in love with a mock-up Jerry (or whatever the person’s name is).” Who wants a lookin’-like-a Gucci when they can afford to buy the real thing?

*If you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at lrl.advice@hotmail.com . I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on LRL.com!

Selling Your Heart on the Street Like A Prosty

2006-11-30T20:12:00.000-05:00

If I were a prostitute, I sometimes wonder how much I’d charge. Would I make just enough to get my daily fix of blow, crack, heroine or liquor? Or would I be a classy hoe and charge upwards of $500 per night?

Let’s do the math:

If I charged $500 dollars per night and I slept with six guys that night, I’ll have made $3,000 in one night! Of course, I’d need regulars and they wouldn’t come back every night spending that type of money unless they had some major dough. Well, I’d know my pooh-pooh was fantastic, so I’d make the guy come back more than once a week.

Okay, so we have $3,000 a night so far. Let’s take $1,000 off of each night the next four days, because the regulars aren’t getting into my captivating tunnel of joy. I’ve still made $1,500 dollars a night, times four nights, which gives me a total of $6,000 for those days. Add my regulars back on for Saturday and Sunday and I’ve made $6,000 dollars for those two nights. Now, if we add together all the nights, I’ve made a total of $15,000 in a week! Talk about easy money.

But when it comes to matters of the heart, I feel we can’t be promiscuous with it, just like we morally can’t be hoes with our bodies. If you think about it, multiple relationships can lead to great sex, good kisses, fun times, money (if you’re a gold digger), and slight bliss, yet when your heart is laid on the line, it doesn’t seem like much fun. Just like I’m sure laying your cooch or Johnson on the line isn’t fun either.

So why can men prostitute their emotions for momentary sexual bliss? It’s because their heart’s not in from the jump. Yes, ladies you’ve been fooled. Most men go into a relationship with physical qualities analyzed and they are in hunting mode. Lots of women go into relationships with an open heart. They start off vulnerable and ready to commit. This is the reason why most men can go through relationship after relationship without being burned, while women come out on the other end with third degree burns.

The Question

If we could prostitute our hearts like we do our bodies, would it be worth the moral scarring? After a while, would your heart fall for the women or man you are emotionally screwing? And if you successfully prostitute a million dollars worth of lessons, sex, good times and money, in the end, is it valuable enough?

*If you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at lrl.advice@hotmail.com . I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on LRL.com!

Irony Overly Perceptible 'Cuz of Dumb Ass Choices

2006-11-30T00:55:00.000-05:00

Some people make the dumbest decisions (myself included). I’ve never known why DUMBFUCK (a low-life cashier for McDonalds who’s working part-time and living off of his girl) would, for example, choose to screw around with Carla while his girlfriend, BEAT A BITCH DOWN, is on her lunch break. Of course, this guy chooses to do this shit at his own apartment or home, knowing that BEAT A BITCH DOWN has a key.

Are these common mistakes? No, they are careless mishaps or idiotic mistakes. These all come down to finding out the right choices to make and the right times to make them.

A lot of people don’t realize that- in regards to their goals- they have a path to follow. This path goes straight, yet there are always detours in the road (a pitchfork type of look). These detours teach you something, but they still keep your growth towards reaching the goals at the end of the road stagnant.

Yes, sometimes the disappointment and fear of failing is palpable, but we have to jump in there and go at it. When I was younger I would be afraid to ask my family for food when I was starving at home. I wanted so badly to receive that slow yes instead of that fast no that I was terrified. Keep in mind, people that I’m using the word TERRIFIED. I used it to describe my exact emotion, not to over-exaggerate.

So we must ponder the consequences to the actions in which DUMBFUCK caused. Because of his ill-thought decisions, BEAT A BICTH DOWN broke up with him and married a doctor will benefits (Thank you, God. BLUE CROSS, BLUE SHIELD). If he wouldn’t have tripped up and got caught, BEAT A BITCH DOWN wouldn’t have found a guy who loves her and financially treats her well. Irony to the fullest extent, huh?

*If you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at lrl.advice@hotmail.com . I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on LRL.com!

E-mail Advice- "I'm anal repellant"

2006-11-16T13:06:00.000-05:00

Dear Poetiq,

My boyfriend just told me that he wants to have sex with me up the anus. I don’t like that type of sex because it hurts. He threatened me and said that he wouldn’t want to cheat on me. What is that? Am I supposed to loose the men I love or have totally unpleasurable pain because he wants to screw me like some Tits and Cocks porno star?

Anal Repellant
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Repellant,

LOL. I had to laugh for about ten minutes at this email. Don’t get my laughter confused with me not thinking your situation is important. This is where the saying goes: “What you’re not fulfilling, another woman is willing.” Is it not your job to please your mate? Conversely, I’d hate for you to be in pain because that is what he likes. If it is a pain that can be lived through momentarily, then yes, go for it. But if you convulse with sobs every time you and your boyfriend perform this act, then I’m sorry to say, you have to let it go.

Attraction is very important in a relationship and I could not blame him for wanted to be aroused in a certain way. This is nature of men- and all human, for that matter. You have to make a choice, Anal Repellant. You must decide on staying in pain, or leaving. The choice is all yours. But in making that choice, talk to him and ask him if your relationship is reduced to anal intercourse.

*If you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at lrl.advice@hotmail.com . I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on LRL.com!

E-mail Opinion- "Another deep discussion..."

2006-11-16T12:47:00.000-05:00

Dear Poetiq,

By now, you know that my single girlfriends and I are scholars of sorts. We are ever searching for understanding...or really just how to maximize our smashing good looks before we get fat and ugly. Deep down inside, we are really very shallow. I have withheld all names to protect the slutty.

The topic of last night's discussion was the number of men it takes to satisfy our needs. It seems that we can never find one man who covers all of the things that are the most important to us (like sex and world peace and stuff). One man will be fabulous for adventure and travel, another will be the best secret holder, one will give a great massage, another will have a pizza delivered just to be nice, some are good for gifts, some are good for sex, some will let you drive his really, really nice car. Some write poetry, some will cook for you, some make you feel beautiful, brilliant, sexy...

We concluded that three men is the ideal number.

1. The One to F*ck.
2. The One to Cuddle.
3. The One to Pay the Bills.

Admittedly, juggling three men can be difficult to manage; and at times the number of men carried will have to be reduced to two for sanity's sake. Herein lies the dilemma.

Whom should one put on hold?

Scenario 1: Drop The One to F*ck.

Problem: Lack of sex makes us cranky, risking a blow up with The One to Pay the Bills. Worse, in a moment of weakness and desperation, a girl could find herself sleeping with The One to Cuddle. Thereby, making him now The One to F*ck although he will still expect cuddling. Naturally, he's The One to Cuddle because he's very sensitive meaning that sex will turn this relationship upside down. Many feelings will be hurt.

Scenario 2: Drop The One to Cuddle.

Problem: Affection is important. Some days, a girl just needs to sit in a warm lap. Sitting in the lap of The One to Pay the Bills gives him false expectations about his role in the relationship. He becomes nurturing instead of simply signing checks. Each transaction, now feels like talking to your parents and asking for your allowance. Demanding snuggling and spooning from The One to F*ck will run him off and then there will be no one to f*ck.

Scenario 3: Drop The One to Pay the Bills.

This is scenario is simply too ridiculous and improbable to discus. Even for the sake of argument.

Perhaps you can create some sort of matrix to help us to make our decisions.

As always, thank you for your insight.

Mist 1

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I thought this was an excellent email. Though I didn’t feel the need to give advice on this, I still was compelled to post it. It seemed like such a different approach on a non-monogamous relationship. This intensifies the logic of not relying on one particular person to fulfill a need. It’s almost like not setting one’s self up for failure.

You guys have heard it from me, Mist 1, new voice, look into it!

*If you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at lrl.advice@hotmail.com . I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on LRL.com!

My Wonderful Weekend With Zodiac Booty Humper and Friends

2006-11-13T11:53:00.000-05:00

When you find out that your friend is having an affair with his girl's sister, what do you do? This situation becomes as sticky as superglue because you and your friend's girlfriend are closer than siamese twins. A choice must be made. That choice is: Never befriend both boyfriend and girlfriend. It leads to trouble.

A friend of mine, let's call him Zodiac Booty Humper, has decided to have an affair on his girlfriend of 4 years. We'll call her Snake in the Grass Hidden. What makes the plot thicken is that fact that Snake in the Grass Hidden tried to sex yours truly up just a few months ago. I should have told Zodiac Booty Humper, but I feared for their relationship. They have... Had some good stuff there.

When I asked her why she was trying to cheat on her boyfriend, with his friend, no doubt, she told me, "That's just me."

What provokes an individual to go to such lengths to receive pleasure? In this modern day and age it seems like Americans have lost control of wants and needs. When we can have out cake and eat it as well, when is enough enough?

Yesterday, while eating lunch with Snake in the Grass Hidden's sister, Dragon Breath Bimbo, I told her that Zodiac Booty Humper was going to bump her to the side for Snake in the Grass Hidden. Of course, that was a lie, but I had a whole plan mapped out. Surely it would go well. I mean, everyone else is lying, how could anyone get upset?

Dragon Breath Bimbo immediately ran to Zodiac Booty Humper to voice her distress and confront him on his awful decision. At the same time this was going on, I called Snake in the Grass Hidden and told her that Zodiac Booty Humper couldn't reach her and needed her to come to his apartment immediately.

What Snake in the Grass and Dragon Breath Bimbo didn't know was that I'd spoken to Zodiac Booty Humper earlier that week and explained my plan. I whispered a few facts in his ear and told him to expect the ambush.

Naturally, my name was brought up when they all arrived on the spot. They called me and put me on speaker phone. The women just knew I was up to something and wanted to expose me to spare their own asses, yet they were trying to rip Zodiac Booty Humper's ass simultaneously.

When I got on the phone I let all of the information rip. I mentioned to Snake in the Grass Hidden that while her offer to screw her brains out would have been tempting, I didn't want to betray our friendship or my friend's relationship.

Silence was a new character in this story. I'd outted everything and felt extremely well about. Then I said, "If anyone has a problem with what's happened today, I suggest they speak up. Otherwise, stop lying. Be in a relationship or get the fuck out of it."

When Snake in the Grass Hidden asked me why I'd gone through all the trouble to stop the "affairs," and lying, I said, "That's just me."

*If you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at lrl.advice@hotmail.com . I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on LRL.com!

Which Came First: Money or Sex

2006-11-10T13:06:00.000-05:00

I wrote on a previous blog about splogging and, somehow the comments lead down a path of logic which states: Money is the root of all evil. Later that transformed into: Pussy and Money are the causes of death, greed, theft, lies and war.

The women who spoke on this topic agreed that each one is tied into another. For example, a man will go out on a strip in search of some poon-tang. The prostitute is looking for money in exchange for sex while the guy is looking for sex in exchange for money. There isn’t one thing that solely fuels this behavior; it’s all multiple conduits to a guilty pleasure or “sin.”

Which came first, the pussy or the money? History tells us (from a Christian background) that Eve first shared a fruit from the tree of life with Adam. After they shared this “fruit”- to my knowledge- they started banging and screwing like rabbits on Viagra. No one fully knows what the fruit was, but I believe it was a metaphor for knowledge of life, sex, and sin. We are all sinners, the Bible tells us, but at that point Adam and Eve didn’t know they were sinners, correct? So, how could Eve seek knowledge of something she had no clue existed unless she was searching for it?

This leads us down many paths towards many subjects, many arguments and many conclusions, but the main question is: Could money exist without sex, and could sex exist without money (money being a symbolism for any materialistic want or need)? Get back to me on this with a comment or e-mail.

*If you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at lrl.advice@hotmail.com . I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on LRL.com!

E-Mail Advice/Opinion- "Kissing/Sex"

2006-11-09T08:44:00.000-05:00

Poetiq,

I assume that by putting the word sex in the subject of this email, that you will either 1.) turn out the lights and read it in private, or 2.) mark it as spam.

Assuming that it's the former...

A friend and I were talking about kissing and sex the other night. I wish that I could say that were were kissing and having sex, but I am inexperienced with women and didn't know how to make the first move...I digress.

The topic of conversation was which is worse...bad kissing or bad sex?

We disagreed.

The following arguments will be presented without names as I am sure that you will favor me unfairly. Wouldn't you? That's what I thought. Okay, then.

Arguement 1: Bad kissing is worse.
Support: Kissing can occur at any time. It is spontaneous and generally acceptable in public. Kissing is more important because there is more opportunity for kissing to occur. Kissing is romantic. Kisses speak volumes about feelings. Kissing is the way we romantically/sexually connect with people.

Arguement 2: Bad sex is worse.
Support: Bad sex is a waste of time. Sex is essential, while kissing is just obligatory or used as a social greeting/farewell. Bad sex leaves all parties uncomfortable and sweaty as opposed to just uncomfortable as in bad kissing and sweaty is bad. Bad kissing has no excuse, but bad sex can be made up for with gifts such as shoes and such.

Again, I want you to remain impartial. But, I need to know that I am right here.

Thanks for your help.

By the way, what are your credentials anyway?

--
Mist 1
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Mist 1,

I love a well thought-out argument on the subject of sex. This topic lends a hand to so many intended puns, jokes, remarks, and humorous events. Yet, when it comes to the subject of which is worst: bad kissing or bad sex? I'd say that my choice would be bad sex.

Reason

The reason why I choose bad sex is because, like you said, kissing can be spontaneously done in public. A man kisses a girl horribly, he can assess the situation, gather up his balls and try again. In the event you have a man who can only pump one out and he's finished, well, you have to try some other time.

You ever notice how a bad kiss can still lead to another date, which could, in fact, be a great date? But have bad sex and the situation becomes awkward. Plus sex leads to all types of uncontrolled emotions. Two friends can kiss and the fire still burns, if it's a great kiss. Two friends can have sex- bad sex at that- and it leads them to feel way too open and vulnerable. They feel like it was a mistake and they could have jeopardized the friendship because of succumbing to lust.

Conclusion

In the end, I'd choose a bad kiss over a bad fu*k any day. We can salvage a friendship after a kiss. But after a sexual encounter gone awry, that's risky busy. Bad sex can cause a relationship to sink like a boat filled with seamen... no pun intended, of course.

Credentials

I've been blogging for about two years. This was the only time I decided to get paid for it. LOL. I also write for a local newspaper. I write about love, relationships, spirituality and religion. I am trying to convince those guys that my own column would be the best thing since sliced bread. But readers are happy with what I shit out now. So I say, "If it aint broke, don't fix it." How do you feel about it? I also went to an arts-based high-school with a focus on analysis, small studies in psychology and I'm a natural-born philosopher. Went to college to take Music Business Managment- far from these subjects, huh? Realized writing and relationship issues are my joy and decided to take Journalism and Creative Writing in college. I learn as much as possible about relationship issues, sex and dating. I've seen a lot and share a lot. But most importantly, I love to receive information as well.

P.S. I love your blog. I read it religiously now. You have inspired me to become way more opinionated with my writing. Thanks for blessing my page with your thoughts (I'm glad someone is. LOL).

*If you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at lrl.advice@hotmail.com . I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on LRL.com!

Creativity. Where Did It Go?

2006-11-06T18:30:00.000-05:00

I have the worst writer's block you could think of. I had 5 articles to pump out this weekend and when I finally approached the final article, my brain went blank. It's like all thought, creativity and drive flew the co-op or something. Where did it all go?

As I sit here typing away, I ask myself, "Why didn't you take a pee when you were at the house?" I say this because I'm doing the pee-pee dance on a stoll at the university library. Yes, how pathetic. I'm doing the pee-pee dance with an empty brain and balled up words, metaphors, prose, verbs, nouns, adjectives and may other writer's tools wanting to be used, but unfortunately are not being used (what a long ass sentence?).

Creativity.

That's the key to keeping any good "thing" strong and prosperous. How many people do you know give up on an idea or an individual because they got bored all of a sudden? Wouldn't it be easier to find a way to bring passion back into the relationship? I'm like, if you're bored with ballet dancing, take up break dancing; If you hate writing poems, write a short story; and if you're bored with your mate, find a way to bring back the romance that sparked the flame in your belly and made you fall in love in the first place (another long ass sentence, huh?).

Creativity.

I do need to find it.

*If you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at lrl.advice@hotmail.com . I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on LRL.com!

Drumroll, Please... Why I Never Called Back After Wonderful Date

2006-10-31T22:36:00.000-05:00

Most of you know that I have been posting interviews on the subject of men not calling women back after a wonderful first date. I can honestly say that I've contributed to this monstrosity. Ladies, before you go throwing tomatoes at me, let me explain.

When I was about 17 (young, fresh and stupid) I went out on a date with Charlene Brady. I thought she was the finest thing since sliced bread. Of course, I thought her to be miles and miles away from my social caste and decided that I wouldn't pursue her at first.

During our first encounters, we never spoke to one another. We would throw a polite smile at one another during school, but that's about it. Over time the word got out that I liked her and she found out, liked me and decided to ask ME out. The only problem was by the time she wanted to go out I was over the whole girly-made-up look and onto Kiesha Paine, who was more down to earth, showing natural beauty.

Be it me not to disappoint, I agreed to go out on the date so she wouldn't feel less attractive. We had the best time of our lives, it seemed. We laughed, talked, played and flirted from time to time. Out of habit, and natural friendliness, I told her I'd give her a call. When I got home, I realized that we were from totally different sides of the tracks. In school she would be miss high prissy face and I would remain the sexy, not-so-popular TJS (Terry J. Snipes). I never called back. Now, ladies what do you have to comment on? (I will brace myself)

Why Men Don't Call Back After A Wonderful Date- Part 4

2006-10-26T07:41:00.000-05:00

We've approached the very last interview in this series. I apologize for the tension that surrounds this last interview. I do not like when people try and throw ass backwards psychology at me in order to justify something that only needs the truth said. If I ask you, "Did you drink my pop?" And you say, "Have you ever drank someone's juice because you didn't know it was theirs?" Then that leaves you open for whip lashes from my tongue. But I am very excited that the young man participated in this very last interview.

Below, I have posted the fourth and last interview:

Jason Jones is a 43 year old construction worker. I give him lots of thanks for taking the time out of his busy schedule to participate in this interview.

Guru Reporter- Hey, J.J.

Jason Jones- Hey, Terry.

GR- You are the very last interview that I am conducting on this subject. So, to a certain extent, you are the most important interview.

JJ- I wouldn't say all that. But we are going to have to speed things along.

GR- I understand. So why don't you call women back when you say you will?

JJ- You don't waste any time do you?

GR- We're losing time with you answering my questions with a question, homie. So why don't you just answer the question, please. (laugh)

JJ- Well, I don't call them because I don't like them. There is no other reason why I wouldn't call a girl back unless I didn't like her.

GR- Why tell them that you will call them back when you know you have no plans on calling them back?

JJ- I just tell them what they want to hear. Come on now, I'd hate to tell them that on the date and have them trippin' on me.

GR- That still doesn't explain why your ass lies. Why not be a man and just tell the truth?

JJ- What's the difference between truth and a lie?

GR- One isn't true.

JJ- Exactly. What's the difference between hiding the truth and a lie?

GR- There is no difference. It's the same thing.

JJ- Exactly. How many people do you know hide the truth? When a chick knows she wants to look for her future husband yet she lies and says she isn't looking for anything too serious, she lied. So why aren't we going crazy on those girls and saying that they lied?

GR- You can't fool me with that fake ass, backwards psychology. You lied and that's the whole damn point of this interview. You are on the stand right now. You are being judged, not females who feel like they have to reserve their feelings so a man wont run away.

JJ- You're taking their side! No! (laugh)

GR- It's not about sides, Jason. The whole point of the interview is asking why YOU don't call women back after you say you will. Meaning: why do you lie?

JJ- Well...

GR- Don't think of a lie! (laugh)

JJ- (laugh) Don't be actin' like you know me.

GR- When people show you who they are... believe them. You've showed me you're a lying, fake psychologist.

JJ- It's like that, Terry?

GR- It's however you think it is. I might be a kind guy, but I don't accept BS when it comes to my interviews. Don't think you can pull the wool over my eyes.

JJ- Okay. I do lie. It's only because I like to see a woman happy and all over me. When I leave at the end of the date I know good and damn well I wont be calling her ass back. But I like that I made her happy at least for a night.

GR- And little do you know you've made her life harder wondering if you'll call.

JJ- That's a woman's problem. Don't think too hard about it. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't happen, it doesn't.

GR- You do have a point there, sir.

JJ- You damn right.

GR- Thanks for participating in this interview. I'll let you get back to making your money.

I would like to thank Jason for participating in this interview. He was a very good sport. I must admit, I did kinda' tongue-lash him because he rushed our interview before it even started and then tried to use some twisted psychology on me. But I hope all of my readers and newcomers have learned a little from these interviews. Feel free to comment on the others if you'd like.

*If you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at lrl.advice@hotmail.com . I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on LRL.com!

Check out the other posts:

Why Men Don't Call Back After A Wonderful Date- Part 3

Why Men Don't Call Back After A Wonderful Date- Part 2

Why Men Don't Call Back After A Wonderful Date- Part 1

Is Pity Sometimes A Ploy for Self Worth?

2006-10-23T11:34:00.000-05:00

Ladies and gentlemen, I must admit, for a period of time I couldn’t stop putting up those damned numbered post. You know what I’m talking about:

10 Ways to Get Rid of Crabs:

1. Stop having sex
2. Eat more spaghetti

You get where I’m going with this. I have not written a post that explained my opinions and, sometimes, sensitive feelings. Where does this post plan on taking my faithful and newcomer readers? I have not a damn clue. I just figured it was time for me to vent somewhat and give you love/relationship seekers a piece of me. A deep, dark, nasty piece of me… Wait, that sounds kinda porn-ish. Please, continue reading.

Today I thought about my ex. She was the first woman who I ever loved and I sometimes find it hard to forget about her. Don’t get it twisted, we broke up for a reason, that reason is justified and I have no regrets. Yet, I think about her all of the time. She has gone through a lot of BS with her baby’s daddy. I can’t get into what happened, but if she didn’t know how to fight before she met his ass, she does now.

My question (and you guys know I almost always ask a question in my posts) is: Does everyone think about their ex’s just once months after the relationship ties have been severed? And when your new “friend” is in the picture, do you think it would hurt them because you thought about your “old” friend? Well, ladies and gentlemen, I asked my new friend.

“C**, how would you feel if I told you that I’ve been thinking about “*e** lately?” My girl looked me in the face and said, “as long as you don’t kiss, screw or perform falettio on the bitch, I’m cool.” What a girl. Huh? I went on to tell her that it’s not a sexual or even romantic thinking I’m going through in regards to her (my ex), it’s a fear factor. My ex and I planned so many great things in our future and now it seems as if she has accomplished being a mother with ADD instead of a naïve teenager with ADD. Is it safe to say that I pity her sometimes? To me that seems as if I pity her because consciously I believe I’m doing better. STOP! Wait! HOLD UP! I never want to come across as cocky, arrogant, conceited or filled with vanity, but it seems like that’s what this situation is leading to.

End Question: How can you think about your ex with fear and sadness with out having pity on them? And if you do have pity on them, does that make you an assuming, GREATER THAN THOU prick?

*If you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at lrl.advice@hotmail.com . I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on LRL.com!

Introduction of TD.GAD.AY!

2006-10-21T18:33:00.000-05:00

TD.GAD.AY was established some few months ago. My professional presentiment tells me that I should have remembered the exact date, but no one really gives a damn about that sort of stuff.

You’ll ask yourself: what does TD.GAD.AY stand for?

Well, when its discreditable acronym is broken down, it stands for

T hey
D on't
G ive
.
A
D amn
.
A bout
Y ou

The logic of it might seem harsh in the beginning, but take a few breaths, dry your eyes and wake up to the reality of the REAL WORLD. No, it’s not me being overly cynical (Trust! I’ve seen some cynical ass people), but rather realistic.

Cynical Comment: That man is full of shit. I don’t know him, and I’ve heard anything about him, or spoken to him, but he’s full of shit.

Realistic Comment: That guy’s breath smells like open camel mouth with melted cheese inside of it.

Try to apply this doctrine to your life. Say it with me, Gadies and Lentlemen…

TD.GAD.AY!

E-mail Advice- "my husband magic stick is killing me"

2006-10-21T15:35:00.000-05:00

Dear

My boyfriend is well endowed. How do I tell him that our lovemaking is killing me?

Sore Lady
---------------------------------------------------

Sore Lady,

You are going to have to come to a conclusion. You must tell me, did you know his penis killed you before you guys started dating or after? Because if you knew his pipe was ripping your walls why did you still fake the orgasms and pleasure. Now you know his ass is proud because most guys want large "tools" and those who have them (large blessings) feel like royalty. If he's a good guy he'll try and come up with some type of alternatives. But if he's like most sexually blessed men, he'll give you an ultimatum. "I know lot's of women who wants this," he'll say. You look him in the face and say, "I don't."

Sore Lady, did you know that if his penis is too much for you and it causes you that much pain, could cause you severe damage and prevent you from having children? Most importantly, if you are not being sexually satisfied while doing it, he is the only one receiving any pleasure and that's not fair, is it?

Sit him down and talk to him about what the problem is and BOTH OF YOU need to come up with a way to fix it. If he says he has to penetrate you then you have to move on. I love my girlfriend enough to just practice falletio if she said my "love stick" was too much for her. In fact, an incident like that happened a while back with one of my girlfriends and I told her I'd lay off and we could try something else. Turns out the something else wasn't as good and she felt the same way. In the end, if the sexual attraction isn't there, one of you will stray. Be honest or leave. Good luck, Sore Lady! LOL

*If you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at lrl.advice@hotmail.com . I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on LRL.com!

What Do You Do When He/She Is Cheatin? Get Out!

2006-10-21T15:21:00.001-05:00

What do you do when you find out that your best friend has not only screwed your boyfriend, but she has also made plans to marry him in the near future? Of course, you know what you don't do. You don't point a gun at your boyfriend's head and pull the trigger, causing him to lay comatose for three months and then shoot your best friend in the vagina. No, you make sure the crap never happens again. But some people might say, "Terry, you can never stop a man or woman from cheating. If they want someone else they will find someone else." Well, there are always signs to look out for.

Women

If your boyfriend never ever wants to share with you who his friends are, chances are he's cheating.

If your boyfriend becomes overly hysterical when you pick up his phone, he's cheating.
In some cases, if your boyfriend constantly accuses you of cheating then he is guilty himself and is cheating. He does this to throw attention off of himself and make you feel guilty so that you'll, in turn, drop the subject all together.

If your boyfriend never comes over until the morning or very late at night, chances are, he's cheating. There are some exceptions to these rules. You will read them in a future post titled Exceptions To The Cheating Signs.

If your man has been dating your for over 2 years and you still don't own a key to his apartment, you are being played, ladies.

Men

If your woman is extra nice to you even though you are treating her like shit, trust me, you're being cheated on.

Please remember to always get proof. Above all, ask your mate if she/he is cheating or not. You would want your mate to give you the benefit of the doubt before declaring you a cheater. Who knows, maybe your mate isn't cheating and this very post caused you to become more paranoid than usual.

*If you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at lrl.advice@hotmail.com . I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on LRL.com!

Why Men Don't Call Back After A Wonderful Date- Part 3

2006-10-18T10:03:00.000-05:00

Why don’t men call women back after a "great" first date? Well, ladies and gentlemen, I feel as though I’m on to something new. During an afternoon meal (not quiet breakfast, not even brunch but I got my eat on) with a high school buddy of mine, I bumped into a couple of females who actually paid me, from time to time, for my dating advice back in high school.

One of the women looked me in the eyes, and instead of saying hi, she said, "This guy I was with last night never called me back. What the hell did I do wrong? It was a perfect date."

Unfortunately, I couldn't answer her question on the spot. Instead I referred her to my posts on usavoice.com and advised her to pay close attention to the answers given. I told her my plans of interviewing four different men who have, in some way, shape, or form blew a "perfect" possible relationship due to avoiding the follow-up phone call. Each man will be different, and in turn will give different answers as well as scarily similar answers.

Below, I have posted the third interview:

Marvin, a 34 year old divorced songwriter makes a living writing songs that appears on local's albums. Though he hasn't made his first million dollars, he makes enough to get by... comfortably. He writes lots of lyrics about love and wanted it. Could this all by a ploy to woo a young ladies heart only to sell records and KA-CHING! (cash in)?

Guru Reporter- Wassup, homie? (laughs)

Marvin- Nothing, homie skins. (laughs)

GR- I understand you were writing a song for a new artist coming to town named Mike Black. Is that correct?

M- Yeah, that's right.

GR- You let me read some of the lyrics and you wrote:

"I'll never let you down/ though sometimes you call and I'm not around/ I'll be there soon/ So we can get down"

M- That's my stuff.

GR- This pretty much says, "you might want to call me and talk and I might not come around until I want to hit the skins-"

M- No, no, no. It means that sometimes she'll call and I'll be busy, but I'll always make time for her. And when I do make plans for her I might want to make her feel good.

GR- That's a load of BS. I can't believe you expect a woman to look at it in that light.

M- Trust me, homie, they do.

GR- Well... I guess you've got that one, huh?

M- You know I stole it! (laughs)

GR- Now, the big question is: Do you call women back when you say you will after the first date?

M- Some I do, some I don't. It all depends.

GR- On what? How she looks? What she's said?

M- It depends on how I'm feeling at the time. If I'm on a date with an Asian woman and I feel like Jamaica, I won't call her back.

GR- But you do make it a point to tell her you'll call even though you don't plan on doing so, correct?

M- You're making me seem like a monster, Terry!

GR- I'm making you seem like a liar. And you are. Truth be told, you lie to these females and never plan on calling them back again.

M- Some I'll call back and some I wont. Like I said, it all-

GR- Yes, it all depends on what Marvin wants at that time. And your ass would be balling on the floor crying and writing sad love songs if a woman did that same shit to you.

M- You damn right. But the important thing to remember is, they don't.

GR- So, your decision to not call back is solely based on what type of female you want at the time?

M- Yup.

GR- And if you know what type of female you want at the time, why go out on the damn date in the first place?

M- I need something to write about in my songs, don't I?

GR- You sneaky little dog. (laughs)

I would like to thank Marvin for participating in this interview. He was a very good sport. I eagerly await the answers I'll receive from the last man. A new interview will be posted next Wednesday.

*If you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at lrl.advice@hotmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on Love, Relationships and Life!

Check Out the Related Posts:

Why Men Don't Call Back After A Wonderful Date Part 1

Why Men Don't Call Back After A Wonderful Date Part 2

E-mail Advice- "Not a homo"

2006-10-15T14:58:00.000-05:00

Dear Snipes,

I understand that subjects of a gay matter are hard for you to respond to. If a person doesn't understand the gay lifestyle it's hard to comment on it, right? My boyfriend only calls me when it comes to nasty sex sessions. I am not fully into sex with another man yet. I don't know if I like that faggoty bullshit. My question is why are men only interested in sex? Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

NOT A FUCKING HOMO

--------------------------------------------------

HOMO (sexual),

Your signature really disturbed me. I am one who believes that if you are what you are, except it. You writing down NOT A HOMO didn't make me respect you more or less. It made me feel as though you really are very homosexual and are struggling to admit to yourself. You've completely offended any other homosexual who might read this advice. They will feel like you deserted them.

As far as your question, I'd say that men wanting sex more than women is malarkey. This is an anonymous post I read a few weeks back and decided to save just in case a subject like this one popped up:

"I like to get laid like the rest of them, however, I am more likely to hook up with a girl than a guy - with a guy I generally look for more of a relationship first. It's kind of a whole penetration=access=intimacy=control thing. Security vs fear... so no, I get horny a lot, daily i will get aroused by the way I cross my legs, a little breeze up my skirt, an accidental brush in the hall past a really hot guy or girl I might have a crush on... you name it.

Daily, twice daily, sometimes more, and that doesn't count the two or three or more times a week I masturbate. Lots of women won't admit to it, because we're supposed to be some sort of perfect little fucking angels or something, but we like getting laid when the sex is good just as much as a guy likes getting laid when the sex is good."

The woman's identity cannot be disclosed, but it shows right there that at least one woman admits to thinking about sex constantly, and even masturbating regularly. HOMO, I believe it's a sexist stereotype that men desire sex more than women. Women desire sex just as much as men do. Most probably won't admit to it because of the thoughts society puts in their heads, like only demure women are real women. Truth be told, Adam didn't rape Eve. She wanted it as well. Most women have times of the month that stop them (if they are not nasty) from having sex. A woman could want to have sex very badly and if the guy's breath stinks, it could turn her off instantly. Men will put a brown paper bag over a women's head and imagine Eva Longoria in her place. So, when it comes to your sexual orientation, which we've established is, in fact, gay; I want you to understand that sex is not important, whether you are heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, transsexual, transgender or whatever! With the number of STDs running ramped and the AIDS epidemic wiping out whole countries, I think it's best to worry about life goals, love, monogamy and discovery of whatever God you serve. Until the next post, much love, peace, and empathy.

*As always, if you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at terry.snipes@usavoice.org. I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on Usavoice.org!

E-mail Follow-Up- "My husband wants to kill me"

2006-10-12T13:12:00.000-05:00

This is a follow-up from a woman who sent a very interesting message to me a while back. I thank her so much for sharing this information, even though I made her seem like the biggest fool (which is not what I was trying to do). You can view her first post at Nancy's First Post

Mr. Snipes,

Though I found you advice very informative, the tone in which you spoke to me was totally...true. I seemed like a pathetic fool. I was a dog chasing it's tail. I am so happy that you told me what you did. Do you know that I'd spent 300 bucks to go to a seminar where the women threw these un-encouraging affirmations at us. I came out with absolutely no clarity. After reading your answer I must admit that I was upset. I thought you tried to embarrass me in your article. Yet after reading your article again three days later I knew it was the truth. I told Thomas to get lost and never speak to me again. What's so amazing is lots of guys are coming on to me. I feel about 13 years younger. I wanted to send this e-mail to tell women that you can do anything if you set your mind to it. I, of course, thank Mr. Snipes for giving me his blunt and honest opinion, but it takes women to do the work. There are no psychics, seminars or programs to buy in order to put life's mirror three inches from your face and see yourself. Have the courage, ladies.

Oh and Mr. Snipes, I don't know if it's possible, but could I have your mailing address to send you a present? If you feel uncomfortable with that I totally understand. And thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to read my e-mails. I know you must be swamped with them.

Nancy

-----------------------------------------------------

Nancy,

I do apologize for my blunt tone. I never apologize for being myself, but there is a time and a place for hard-core bluntness.

Any who, I'd like to address the e-mail topic first. I am not swamped with e-mails. I wish more people who send them in. I get about 5 in a good week. Trust me, the more people who share their voice the better. Usavoice.com encourages people to write comments and interact with the reporters. This is the news that we need.

As far as you getting away from Thomas, THANK GOODNESS! He can take his 50% and get the bologna outta' your face. You were kinda' getting weak for a second. When I read the e-mail, I thought to myself, "Why the hell is she so damn naive?" Then you totally proved to yourself that you love...YOU. Please, keep in touch, Nancy.

Oh, and congratulations of knocking the guys off of you, you beautiful, sexy, emancipated soul.

*As always, if you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at lrl.advice@hotmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on LRL.com!

My Damn Everything

2006-10-12T13:05:00.000-05:00

You smile and penetrate my retinas with browns, silvers, gold's and bronzes
Then, I open my eyes
Through those windows my soul is touched

You are light and life
You are a fiery auburn on a fall evening

You touch me and my heart stops beating
I've died in your arms momentarily
In your gates I am safe

You are the fire in my soul
You are the cool breeze on a sunny summer afternoon

You speak to me and sing melodies of empathy, benevolence and honesty
Forever escapes your cadence
Through your music I live

You are the wind that carries my dreams asunder
You are the soft touch of snow sinking to a bed of flakes in winter

I smell your scent, undefined by any mere mortal
A sweet yet spicy smell like lavender on top of Irish Spring Soap
Through you smell I dream

You are the eyes in which I vicariously see
You are the growth of my spirit like flowers in the spring

Its seems as though you're my everything...

*As always, if you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at lrl.advice@hotmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on LRL.com!

15 Tips For A Date... Men, This One's For You

2006-10-12T13:03:00.000-05:00

This post is for the men, as requested. Ladies, never hesitate to listen in. In fact, I encourage you to do so.

Gentlemen

Once that crush of yours finally agrees to be seen out in public with you, it might be left all up to you to arrange when and where to go for your date. Try applying these tips and make yourself look calm and cool (really, inside you are overly prepared and nervous...but we wouldn't want you to mention that, would we?).

1. Don't wait too long to have the date. Waiting to be fit into her schedule will have your ass more anxious, and impatient than you already are. I suggest having the date no more than 3 days after you've asked her.

2. Decide on a relaxed venue that most people will like which is adaptable to the situation. You don't want a place too fun that you guys don't pay attention to each other. Yet you don't want a spot that is so void of anything to do that you both feel uncomfortable.

3. Ensure the location is in an easy to reach location for all kinds of transport and is one that is especially convenient for the lady on this first occasion.

4. Lunchtime, I believe, is the best time to have a first date. At dinner time, things might seem rushed, especially if the date stretches beyond her sleeping time.

5. You don't want to be overly complex or formal on the first freakin' date. Allow things to flow so that the occasion doesn't get too out of hand the first time around. Being prepared beforehand is the greatest way to avoid concentrating on the food and why her shoes look to small and her feet look so big. You want to focus on HER.

6. Ensure you put effort into your style, dress and presentation and make an effort. Informality does not mean scruffy.

7. Leave your apartment clean and tidy and presentable because you really never know what may happen later. You never know, this may be the start of something incredible so be prepared. Though I am somewhat "old school." I believe that you should be prepared in case she wants a quick romp in the bed.

8. Don't try and impress by wealth. Selecting the most exclusive restaurant and insisting on flashing a Platinum credit card doesn't show you in the best light. Trust me, gentlemen, women can and WILL look past that after so many times (within that night).

9. By the end of the first bottle of wine you may end up smashed so keep things steady in advance. Please, don't call yourself getting a little boozed up to calm your nerves before the date.

10. Don't forget who you are dating. I'm not telling you to study everything the woman said over the phone beforehand, but do look up on Celine Dion if she said she likes that particular singer. You might not like her yourself, but at least you can say, "the woman who sung that Titanic song? Of yeah, she did a 3 year performance in Vegas, right? Yeah, yeah... I don't like her."

11. Give yourself time before arriving for your date. Make sure you have enough time to prepare yourself and get yourself into the right frame of mind if you need to. The worse thing for a man to do is be late. Trust me, I've had this problem plenty of times. If you arrive later than your date (some arrive a few minutes later on purpose) she will throw you a look like, "I'm the fashionably late queen. You ass should be the anxiously waiting dude."

12. Be organized. Remember your wallet and know where you are meeting. Struggling with directions in the rain will do nothing to assist the occasion. Trust me.

13. Did I say this before. Oh, wait, let me announce it again: Don't be late !

14. Don't ring your date consistently after the date is over. If she doesn't pick up the phone right away, assume she had things to do before she decided to call you.

15. The most important one of all. If you are interested in the woman, please, call her back WHEN YOU SAY YOU ARE!

*As always, if you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at lrl.advice@hotmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on Usavoice.org!

10 Ways NOT TO Break Up With Your Mate

2006-10-12T13:01:00.000-05:00

There are many things that men and women do in order to free themselves of unwanted love. Some people will lie, some will cheat and some will outright divorce their unwanted loves. I have enclosed 10 ways NOT to separate from your significant other. These are real events of people who have done these things:

1. DO NOT purposely set out to have your girlfriend catch you in bed with another man so that she will separate from you. It takes less effort and heartbreak to just tell her that you don’t want to be in a relationship anymore. Tell her that you’d rather get pumped from behind or shove a piece of meat in between your top and bottom teeth.

2. DO NOT set out to have your best friend "lend" your husband the money for your anniversary ring only to have the info slip out during a family dinner, your best friend urging your husband to pay them back. If you want a divorce, please try to tell him before your anniversary comes up!

3. DO NOT constantly accuse you’re your girlfriend of cheating on you because you feel she’s on to you and your Motel 6 hookers.

4. DO NOT check your boyfriend’s cell phone, wallets, pockets, shoes, hair, closets, face bowls, cars, trucks, shirt pockets and any other crevices in order to prove he’s cheating. If you don’t trust him that bad you should just leave him!

5. DO NOT cheat on your mate in order to "comfortably" leave him/her.

6. DO NOT ask your friends for their advice on how to leave your mate. Unless you truly trust them and they are honest people, they will steer you in the wrong direction. Trust me.

7. DO NOT try and meet someone off of the Internet who you think could eventually replace your mate. They might end up being a 13 year old boy/girl.

8. DO NOT tell your boyfriend that you have had sex with your brother countless times and you might end up having sex with him again seeing as how you are very sexually attracted to him. Your boyfriend might just tell your family about your little white lie and you could end up being embarrassed in front of the entire family.

9. DO NOT write your mate an e-mail telling him/her that you are planning on leaving them. An e-mail is just as tacky as them finding out through the grapevine of gossipers eager to spread your business.

10. DO NOT pay random strangers to follow your girlfriend to a party and slip her a mickey, practically rape her, and find a way to arrive in the room in the morning while she is butt naked with the guy. Because she was slipped some drugs, she doesn’t remember if she initiated anything or if she was raped. I know this one will make lots of people angry. When the young woman told me about his I was hurt. What does it take for guys to have the balls to tell women what the real is?

Pay close attention to these things and try to avoid them. There is nothing worse than breaking someone’s heart, but when you embarrass them by breaking up with them in a shameful fashion then that makes thing even worse. I can certainly say that it’s best to just be real and tell the person you do not want to be in a relationship with anymore that you are ready to end everything. That is the best way to go.

*As always, if you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at lrl.advice@hotmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on LRL.com!

Why Men Don't Call Back After A Wonderful Date- Part 2

2006-10-11T22:11:00.000-05:00

Why don’t men call women back after a "great" first date? Well, ladies and gentlemen, I feel as though I’m on to something new. During an afternoon meal (not quiet breakfast, not even brunch but I got my eat on) with a high school buddy of mine, I bumped into a couple of females who actually paid me, from time to time, for my dating advice back in high school.

One of the women looked me in the eyes, and instead of saying hi, she said, "This guy I was with last night never called me back. What the hell did I do wrong? It was a perfect date."

Unfortunately, I couldn't answer her question on the spot. Instead I referred her to my posts on usavoice.com and advised her to pay close attention to the answers given. I told her my plans of interviewing four different men who have, in some way, shape, or form blew a "perfect" possible relationship due to avoiding the follow-up phone call. Each man will be different, and in turn will give different answers as well as scarily similar answers.

Below, I have posted the second interview:

This young men is 26 years old with a Bachelor of Science degree in Chemistry. He works out religiously and makes time to call him mother at least 3 times a week and find out how she's doing. His name is Raymond Smith and some women might say, "He's a catch!"

Guru Reporter- How are you, Raymond?

Raymond Smith- Cool, man. I've been working like crazy. I don't understand why people go crazy over salary positions when they get worked to the bone and get the same pay.

GR- But you get a very nice pay. (laughs)

RS- I guess it depends on who's looking at my paychecks. And I'm proud to say, it's only me.

GR- Speaking of being proud of only you, are you afraid to have a woman in your life who'll ask about those things?

RS- Not really. I'm not afraid to show anything of mine. I've never really been afraid of women.

GR- So, why didn't you call females back after a wonderful date?

RS- (laughs) Okay, make me feel like the bad guy.

GR- I keeps it real here at LRL.

RS- It's not the fact that I'm afraid of women. I choose not to call them back because they don't interest me. It seems like they are only concerned with building a house, dog, kids and happy marriage.

GR- What's wrong with that?

RS- That's something that should be dealt with when the time approaches. Our relationship should lead into it. Let's say we are not supposed to be together forever. She'll get mad because we are not getting married and getting a condo in the Hamptons. (laughs)

GR- So, you're showing that men do have common sense when it comes to love, relationships and life. I'm happy to say that I'm not the only one.

RS- Because men don't rush to settle down doesn't mean they don't know what a relationship deals with.

GR- Is that why men cheat? They know how to be in a stable relationship, but they choose not to stay.

RS- Lot's of men don't care. If I want to sex up that girl I saw at Starbucks then I'm going to because I want to.

GR- That's screwed up. That is such a selfish way of thinking.

RS- Women do it all the time, they just don't do it as boldly as men.

GR- So, what things turn you off about a woman to make you not call them back, besides them planning for forever?

RS- I can tell when a woman is being fake. I can tell when she is trying to be coy, when she is being slightly stuck-up. I can tell these things. Women act as if men are always lying, but women have lots of skeletons in the closet.

GR- They have graveyards, huh? (laughs)

RS- Yes, Tee. I can't take a woman giving me seven different sides of her in ONE NIGHT! Come on, now. Maybe if she gives me these different view points within a month, maybe. But that seems kinda' bi-polar to me and that scares me as well as turns me off.

GR- But why not tell her this after the date is up? Why tell her that you'll call her?

RS- Men have second thoughts like women do. At first I think to myself, yeah, I'll try and work this out. Then as I get closer to home I think about how she told me she was too classy and ate shrimps and lopsters. When we get to the restaurant she eats like she hasn't eaten in years. Then she has the audacity to mistakenly admit, "I haven't had lobster/shrimp in years."

GR- Thanks for the interview, Raymond. This was a very enlightening interview.

RS- I hope we schooled the females a little on what men do and how we feel. We all aren't dogs.

GR- Amen for that.

I would like to thank Raymond for participating in this interview. He was a very good sport. I eagerly await the answers I'll receive from the other men. A new interview will be posted ever Wednesday.

*If you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at lrl.advice@hotmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on Love, Relationships and Life!

Why Men Don't Call Back After A Wonderful Date- Part 1

2006-10-05T13:07:00.000-05:00

Why don’t men call women back after a "great" first date? Well, ladies and gentlemen, I feel as though I’m on to something new. During an afternoon meal (not quiet breakfast, not even brunch but I got my eat on) with a high school buddy of mine, I bumped into a couple of females who actually paid me, from time to time, for my dating advice back in high school.

One of the women looked me in the eyes, and instead of saying hi, she said, "This guy I was with last night never called me back. What the hell did I do wrong? It was a perfect date."

Unfortunately, I couldn’t answer her question on the spot. Instead I referred her to my posts on usavoice.com and advised her to pay close attention to the answers given. I told her my plans of interviewing four different men who have, in some way, shape, or form blew a "perfect" possible relationship due to avoiding the follow-up phone call. Each man will be different, and in turn will give different answers as well as scarily simular answers.

Below, I have posted the first interview:

The man I am interviewing does not want his actual name to be posted on the website for personal reasons. He chose the alias, Caring.

Guru Reporter- So, Caring, it’s great to finally have this interview with you. I know lots of women would like to know what a successful man like you would pass up on a future with a wonderful woman.

Caring Guy- What’s up, Tee. Sorry about the anonymity, but I have lady friends and colleagues who I’d rather not see this and know it’s me.

GR- I completely understand. My female (and some male) readers will enjoy this series a lot. Hold on… I have to turn the volume up on my microphone..

CG- (laughs)

GR- Okay, so let’s plunge into the interview.

CG- Let’s go for it.

GR- How many dates have you been on?

CG- Oh…

A rather long pause.

GR- Don’t want to answer that question? Don't worry, you’re anonymous.

CG- No, I was counting (laughs).

GR- (laughs) I’m sorry. Count away.

CG- I would say I’ve been on more than 50 dates.

GR- And out of those possible 50 dates, how many women have you called back?

CG- I’ve honestly only called about 20 of those females back.

GR- How was the very last date- in which you never called back- that you had?

CG- It was alright. She seemed like she was cool, except she was kinda’ stank.

GR- What do you mean she was "stank?"

CG- She seems really bourgeois.

GR- Out of all the women, what things caused you to not call them back, collectively?

CG- A lot of them moved too fast. They were almost talking about wedding dresses and churches to have the future ceremony in. I have to admit, it always scared the crap out of me.

GR- Out of those dates, why did you call the successful ones back?

CG- I called them back because they let me know that we were having a date. I felt as though they might not want to be with me in the next week, and I guess it made me more interested.

GR- So, it's sort of like a challenge? You needed something to work towards, correct?

CG- Something like that. I just wanted a girl who understood what I wanted and wanted the same thing for herself.

GR- And what was it that you wanted?

CG- I want a woman who is looking to start off as friends, or buddies. I want a woman who is not expecting a long term marriage after the first date. If I receive vibes that express that, then I wouldn't dare call her back!

GR- Do you think you've ever found that "ideal" woman and passed on her for one reason or another?

CG- I think all men have done this, by mistake, in their lives. I guess we just have to learn from them (mistakes) and make it better the next time around.

GR- Caring, thanks for having this interview with me.

CG- No problem. Let me know when you post the interview so i'll know what exactly what website to help my ladies avoid. (laughs)

I would like to thank Caring Guy for participating in this interview. He was a very good sport. I eagerly await the answers I'll receive from the other men. A new interview will be posted ever Wednesday.

*If you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at lrl.advice@hotmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on Love, Relationships and Life!

The "Perfect" Man

2006-09-30T13:47:00.000-05:00

On this Saturday morning a ringing phone jerked me from my wonderful slumber. I was already in a nasty mood seeing as how I stubbed my toe on the banister at 5:00 in the AM. Foot bleeding and toe burning, it took me two hours to get back to sleep. All that pain due to a five o'clock urine run.

When I picked up the phone, my friend Donna was going on and on about her date last night. I believe she started talking the moment she heard me pick up the phone. I had to stop her, "hold on, hold on. Hello and good morning to you as well." I said. She apologized and went into her problem.

She told me that she started dating this construction worker who is actually working on a street across the street from her job. They went out on a date to Zias, an Italian restaurant. Oh, she went on and on about how much of a gentleman he was. "He help my door open for me and even pulled my chair out for me when we went to dinner," she said. "After eating a wonderful dinner, we went to the waterfront and talked about religion, politics, romance, books that we love. You know, he loves action movies as much as I do. But get this: he is a softy for romance movies. He loves 'em more than I do!" she beamed over the phone. But as you all know, with all my post, there must be some type of problem that needs solving.

The Problem

The problem with this magical date was the fact that my friend has a five year old son. When he dropped Donna off after a wonderful dinner, walking around the riverfront and a talk that could put Shakespeare to share, he wanted to come in for more than R&R. After going inside of the house she realized that her son was up and told the man that he wouldn't be able to stay over due to her son being conscience. Well, the guy was still trying to guide my friend to the bedroom! After she informed him that she wouldn't do anything sexual while her son is awake and in the same house, the guy became very upset and all of a sudden turned calm and told her that he'd call her when he got home.

Guess what, folks? He never did.

So, my friend is on the phone at 7:00 in the morning, screaming about how she wouldn't want to be with anyone who will disrespect her son in such a manner, yet she thought he was a really good guy and feels like she screwed up her chance of developing a nice, new relationship.

My Answer

I told her to drop dead and to never call me that early for any BS like that again! No, I'm just joking. I told her that she is over thinking the entire situation. If the guy was so much of a gentleman, he would have stopped trying to pursue sex the moment she told him that she was uncomfortable. It doesn't matter what her son might have saw or not have seen. If she didn't want to have sex, the guy should have left it alone. For him to stop forcing the sex thought on her just because her son was around meant that he didn't care about her feelings. It means he just didn't want her son to see his pimpled ass naked.

I told Donna to brush her shoulders off and keep going. If God made that one guy who seemed fantastic, then God has a plenty more. I told her that until that nice man came around (there will never be a perfect man) her main man is her son. He is the most important one. Even after she finds a new man, her son will have to still remain her number one. And if the guy is really there for her he will make her son his number one as well.

Conclusion

Ladies, please don't get so desperate that you have to settle for a man who is nice, sweet and seems perfect... except he killed a few little girls back in Iowa. Or you'll find a guy who is wonderful with children, reads poetry and seems like the perfect catch... only he has two boxes filled with child pornography(?)!! It's not worth it. You can go a lifetime trying to find the "perfect" guy and meet thousands of men who don't cut it. No one is perfect and please don't settle for the guy who seems perfect except for some major flaw that you feel you can look around. I'm not against compromise, but somethings shouldn't be tolerated.

I once had a friend who was older (around the age of 72). After her divorce in 1983 she'd been spending years trying to find the perfect man. When she turned about 70 she would pray to God, asking him to bring her the perfect man. She even cried over the subject. Not soon after, she died. God had answered her prayers. He took her from this life to be with him. My point is: The only perfect man is God in heaven. Until then, maybe it's best to try and make God your perfect man and the other men are... "alright guys" on the side. Until the next post, much love, peace, and empathy.

E-mail Follow-Up- "Cheating"

2006-09-26T22:52:00.000-05:00

Dear Poetiq Expression,

Well you asked me to keep you posted and I am. I caught my boyfriend in the bed with another man. It was harsh and it hurt me to death. Yet it helped me move on. I am currently seeing another man who seems way better then my ex's dumb ass. I am happy. Thanks for the advice!

Marsha

Marsha,

I am so elated that you've decided to move on. It's sad to say but you've already got other females to compete with on a daily basis, but you can't compete with a man. It can't be done. That guy was giving your bf something you'll never be able to give him. Actually, he was giving your man three things that you couldn't.

My only concern is that you are moving into a relationship too fast. Take some time to feel yourself out. What makes you happy with YOU? Look at yourself in the mirror, smile and say, "I know I look flyy." Because you do. You need to heal by yourself first. If you allow a man to enter your life too quickly, you'll end up making him pay for your ex's mistakes. He doesn't deserve that. Then you'll be writing me another e-mail advice question saying, "I'm driving me new boyfriend away. What should I do?" Let's spare ourselves the constant typing and future of receiving carpel tunnel by you keeping the dating on a maximum and the going out on a minimum. Trust me on this one, babe. As always, keep your head up. Love, peace and empathy!

*You can find Marsha's original post at the following link: Marsha's First Post. As always, if you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at lrl.advice@hotmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on Usavoice.org!

Sharing Yourself on Love, Relationships and Life

2006-09-24T14:56:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I was going through all the articles and blog posts that I have written and noticed how different each stage of my blogging career has unfolded. It seems as if I went into this blogging "thing" with a need to share my views. Well, I guess after months of realizing how many people respond to this thoughts, I figured that I would start to include others in my thoughts and discussions on love, relationships and life.

I encourage anyone who has an idea or maybe a story idea to send it to lrl.advice@hotmail.com. In doing this you will not only be sharing your views with me, you will be sharing your views with the rest of the world. Some ideas and some e-mail posts/questions will not be published, of course. I can’t post absolutely everything. But the most inspiring, heartfelt and meaningful ones will see the light of day (or darkness on this black background) on Love, Relationships and Life!

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Founded in 1993, Capella University is an accredited online university that offers graduate degree programs in business, information technology, education, human services, and psychology, and bachelor’s degree programs in business and information technology. Within those areas, Capella offers 76 graduate and undergraduate specializations and 16 certificate specializations. The online university currently serves 16,000 students from all 50 states and 63 countries. It is a national leader in online education, committed to providing high-caliber academic excellence and pursuing balanced business growth. Capella University is a wholly-owned subsidiary of Capella Education Company, headquartered in Minneapolis. For more information, please visit www.capella.edu or call 1-888-CAPELLA (227-3552). *Capella University is accredited by The Higher Learning Commission and a member of the North Central Association of Colleges and Schools, located at 30 N. LaSalle Street, Suite 2400, Chicago, IL 60602-2504, (312) 263-0456, www.ncahigherlearningcommission.org.

Love or Compromise?

2006-09-18T19:35:00.000-05:00

Love is in the air. Inhale and smell the fish water that seems to be falling on top of your head. Well, it's falling on my head. That's right folks. It's raining. And as I sit here in front of my computer, I long for the company of a mate. How far will this loneliness rack my brain before it culminates in lustful acts later to be regretted? Of course, like all my other articles, I'll present the topic of this article with another question:

Why do people seek love so intensely that they'll accept settling before being in love?

I'm serious. There was a guy I sparked up a conversation with on the bus a while back. The man seemed very distraught and confused. I smiled and told him that things would get better. He then said the most interesting thing to me.

"I'm just going crazy, man. I can't stand my fiancé. I mean, like, I really get sick to my stomach when I see her, that's how pissed she makes me. But I'm so in love with her. It's like, when I see other couples and all that, I get really happy that I'm with her."

Of course my lips were slightly pursed as I stared the man down. My first thought was to scream, "YOU DUMB ASSHOLE! WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?! NOTHING! BECAUSE IT MAKES NO SENSE!" But instead, I smiled and asked him to explain his logic. As you would guess, he couldn't. He just felt and never thought.

I thought, YOU'RE BSing!

He then told me that his girlfriend is very nice and sweet. She always makes it a ceremony when he comes home from work to rub his back, run his bathwater and have dinner fixed and ready. She has a love for sports, yet never tries to be one of the boys when his friends come over to watch the football game. His friends actually adore her. She is a pretty female, not ugly, or fat (very ignorant and misogynistic of me). So, what's the problem?

The Problem

He never really fell in love with her. He was comfortable. He had found a woman who practically worshiped the ground he walked on. She wouldn't mind cleaning and popping out babies until they created an entire village! She shared some of his views and had great times with him and his FRIENDS. Yet, that wasn't what he was looking for. Yes, he was impressed by her understanding of a man, but he was not impressed by her. Therefore, when marriage is thrown into the picture, he gets sick. He's angry. He thinks to himself, "I'm going to have to spend the rest of my life with someone I SETTLED FOR..."

Who's at fault? Now, ladies, I know you all too well. You'll say it's the man's fault. While he has chosen to be a relationship that is honest to his predictions, it's not honest to her's. In her mind they are a happy couple, destined to break barriers and become that O' so sought after POWER COUPLE. In reality, he will start to cheat on her in less than a year. Who's to say he has not been cheating on her all this time?

Now it's time for me to half-way sympathize with the guy. Ladies, don't slaughter me, I believe I'm going somewhere with this.

I am not saying that the guy is right in his decision. I am putting myself in his shoes to try and figure out why he feels the way he feels. Now, from my glance at him.. Let's call him Joe. At first glance, Joe seemed very dirty, smelly and overweight. No, ladies and gentlemen, it was not a clean, I'm dressed nicely type of overweight. It was a I DON'T GIVE A DAMN, I HAVE NOT WASHED MY ASS, MY BREATH STINKS AND I HATE MYSELF type of overweight.

I thought to myself, maybe he fears of never being able to have a family. Maybe he thinks he'll never have a beautiful (I never saw the woman) woman who cherishes him the way she does. Does this make his actions right? No. But can you feel what pain he's going through? I hope so.

Conclusion

Although Joe needs to let that woman go, he also needs therapy. She shouldn't have to marry into a lie, not knowing, or maybe finding out in the future, that he will continue to cheat on her.

Stop and think about the relationships that you are developing or have been in for a while. Did you start dating them because you were lonely and just needed someone to be with, knowing the sparks would never start flying? Or do you feel as though they treat you like a step-child? Do you sometimes wonder when they don't call for up to a day if they are out with someone else? Do they give you quick kisses, and dismiss you? You may be going through something similar to what was described above. If so, please send an e-mail to terry.snipes@usavoice.org. Your view or story and my advice could be posted on Usavoice.com! Until next time. Love, peace and empathy.

Terry J. Snipes

Visit my other blogs:

Share Love

http://www.usavoice.org/MoreArticles.cfm?RID=820

E-mail Advice- "My husband wants to kill me"

2006-09-17T21:26:00.000-05:00

Mr. Snipes,

I am a follower of your blogs, from lrl to your myspace blog. I love the things you speak about and the way you say them. I sent you an -email question to lrl.advice but you didn't post it. I figured it was because so many people send you questions. So I decided to send one here in the hopes of it getting answered. My husband and I are getting a divorce. I am a legal secretary for a law firm downtown. My husband is a file clerk for one of the local plants in town. The court plans on making me split everything with him. I was the bread winner and I feel it wrong that he gets half of what I worked my ass off to get independently. The other day he called me up and told me that he hopes I die. Today the judge announced that he will not give my husband half of my money but he will give him 10% of what I own. When I got home there was a voice mail for me. It was from my husband. He told me that he was sick and tired of us fighting and realized that it would take too mcuh out of use emotionally and mentally to keep up with the separation. He told me that our daughter was crying everyday and he wants to come home so we can work things out. What should I do?

Nancy

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Nancy,

What can I say, chica, except he's trying to play you for the fool you're portraying? I hate to say it bluntly like that but he wants what ya' got and he knows you're naive enough to give it to him.

Do you realize that the judge's decision to only allow him 10% of your money instead of 50% caused him to call you saying he wants to come back to you? Just the day before the "verdict" he was saying that he wished death upon you. Why would you even consider going back into a relationship like that? I understand you love your child and you don't want to see her go through this. But keep in mind you guys have been fighting and separating already. Image the damage you two will do to her if you get back together and everyday leads to fights and you leaving, coming back, leaving, coming back. Sometimes you have to know when to let it go. Your daughter will get over it. She has no choice. Depending on why you decided to divorce him (or him divorcing you), you had no choice as well.

I look at companions and friends as a tree. Those backstabbing friends that only were meant to be in your life for a minute are the leaves. They sway in the wind and eventually fall off and fly away. You can't trust them to be there forever. You have some branches, or people who seem sturdy but in a bad storm can break off as well. Then you have those roots. These are the friends, family and lover that you want. A root is always there. It supports that tree. It can stretch miles away from the base of the tree in order to sustain it's (the tree's) life. Your husband is a branch. He served his purpose in helping you create a wonderful child. Now it's done.

Please, don't get hurt again. So many people believe these actors, these fake friends and lovers. They'll drive you crazy and you'll be shooting at these actors like movie directors. Keep your head up, stay strong and keep me posted. Love, peace, and empathy.

*As always, if you have any questions that are burning within you, a story to tell or advice to give, please e-mail me at lrl.advice@hotmail.com . I look forward to hearing from you. Your e-mail may be published on LRL.com!

E-mail Advice- "My man dont like my blow job"

2006-09-15T11:53:00.000-05:00

Today's E-mail advice might blow you away just as hard as the question blew me away. I couldn't believe someone would ask me this. Not because I don't know about it or look down on people who do it, but because I never thought someone would ask me a question about any sexual intercourse, fellatio or four-play activity, especially someone so young. Below is the young woman's question:

Wazzup Poetiq Exprezzion,

This is Cassie. I am so -n- luv with this guy who I go to school with. The only problem is hes a senior and I am a freshman. I gave him a rim job two months ago while we were at this tennis game. His younger sister was playing and shes in my grade. After I sucked him off he wanted us to have sex. I'm not ready. What should I do?

Cassie, Cassie, Cassie,

What in the world do you mean you're giving blow jobs at the age of freshman! Have teens made third base first place and anything after is some freaky ass stuff?! I feel very responsible for giving you the proper advice in your situation. I don't feel the need to remain cool or down-to-earth. I'm going to tell it like it is:

Don't you ever do anything else sexual with him again! What happened to young females crushing on someone? Where's the fun in dreaming about being with a guy? Do you realize the large amount of teen pregnancies happening. Are your trying to go that route and end up pregnant at the age of 15? That means when you're 25 your kid would be 10 years old! When you're 35 your child'll be freakin' 20! Take your time. I don't mean to sound like the un-cool young guy, but focus on your studies. I'm serious, Cassie. Lots of people grow up too fast, lacking responsibility and regret a lot of the things they've done. This guy doesn't love you, he just wants to sex you. And if you just want sex, please reevaluate that shit! AIDS and other STDs are running rapid. Would you really want to die at the age of 24 because you couldn't keep your panties up?

Sex comes with responsibilities that you don't possess yet. While you might be an intelligent and wonderful young woman, you are not an adult. So, I'll tell this advice to you like you are a mature adult:

Pop the penis out ya' mouth and go to school.

*to read more E-mail Advice click on the E-mail Advice link!

Technorati tags: advice, relationships, maturity

How to Flirt and Spark a Date

2006-09-14T12:38:00.000-05:00

An initial impression of you is based 55% on your appearance and body-language, 38% on your style of speaking and only 7% on what you actually say. With this in mind, it should give us a starting point as to how easy it can be to flirt with someone and have it lead to a date!

A very close friend of mine was trying to get the attention of someone that she really likes. She asked me to help her “bag” him. I informed her that I am no dating wizard. If the guy don’t like you, he don’t like you. But I did give her a few tips. I’ll first share the tips and expose the outcome of her trying them.

Environment to Flirt

If you are going to school and are interested in anyone else going to school as well, this is the perfect place to spark up conversation. Let’s say you both have classes in Criminal Justice, that is an equal interest and a conversation can go on for weeks!

Let’s say you are not a student. The person who you want to flirt with works with you. You must find the proper place in your work environment where tons of conversations are initiated everyday. Lot’s of people watch shows such as American Idol, Dancing with the Stars and plenty others. Don’t approach that individual as if you are

*commander voice, “Aiming for target. Locking in close on target. You will strike at oh eight hundred hours!”

Relax, soldier. It’s all about being comfortable, from your end as well as theirs. Bring up a subject, if there is no connection, try another one. But please don’t run down a damn list of different topics playing the dating version of Family Feud.

Her Outcome:

My friend, let’s call her Lonely and Hunting. Lonely and Hunting walked into a local Best Buy. There is a guy there who she is obsessed with. He is your typical 6 foot 3 guy with gorgeous green eyes, beautiful hair (cut neatly), and pearly white, they must be caps of the guy went through years of braces, teeth.

So, she walks up to him. He works in the movie section. And what do you know, she loves movies. “Hi,” she addresses him in a sultry yet friendly tone. “I was wondering if you could help me find Big Trouble in Little China?” At this point she has ‘em. That movie is such a man movie I couldn’t think of anything else. And she genuinely likes the flick; she’s not fronting for the guy.

He smiles and says, “Right this way… ma’am.”

Ouch. Now, my friend is about twenty-five. This guys looks around twenty-two. How old does he think she is anyway? When they get to the movie, she takes a deep breath and asks him, “I am very into different movies. What movie would you suggest for me to watch? I like taking risks.”

While having a conversation, keep a few points in mind:

The total time each of you speaks should roughly be equal. Please don’t go on a tangent talking your ass off and not giving the other person a chance to speak. Also, don’t become completely mute and just smile like a dufus jackass without any English to spew from your lips.

Keep the conversation positive and remember everyone likes to be complimented. If they bring up a television show, movie, star or hobby, try not to turn your nose up to almost everyone, saying, “That sucks!” You are trying to find someone to date, not your mirror image. Agree sometimes to disagree. Learn their point of view and move on.

If you’re complimenting someone on their looks, keep it brief and general. Please, fella’s, don’t spend half of the conversation telling the lady how wonderful she looks. Of course, she’ll be flattered and say her thank yous. Sometimes, continuously complementing might make her uncomfortable.

As you listen, paraphrase what the other person says and use open-ended questions where possible. This is, of course, because it keeps you both talking. There is a little shyness when it comes to speaking to someone new, especially someone who you have an attraction to. The moment you leave a question up to yes or no, that is exactly what the other person will take.

Her Outcome:

To be continued…

Terry J. Snipes

Visit my other blog at:

Truth Is It

Technorati tags: dating advice, flirt, relationships

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Founded in 1993, Capella University is an accredited online university that offers graduate degree programs in business, information technology, education, human services, and psychology, and bachelor’s degree programs in business and information technology. Within those areas, Capella offers 76 graduate and undergraduate specializations and 16 certificate specializations. The online university currently serves 16,000 students from all 50 states and 63 countries. It is a national leader in online education, committed to providing high-caliber academic excellence and pursuing balanced business growth. Capella University is a wholly-owned subsidiary of Capella Education Company, headquartered in Minneapolis. For more information, please visit www.capella.edu or call 1-888-CAPELLA (227-3552). *Capella University is accredited by The Higher Learning Commission and a member of the North Central Association of Colleges and Schools, located at 30 N. LaSalle Street, Suite 2400, Chicago, IL 60602-2504, (312) 263-0456, www.ncahigherlearningcommission.org.

Advice In the Form of a Rant

2006-09-12T22:21:00.000-05:00

As always, If you are offended by any foul language hidden and sticking out through my post, I apologize for you having to get the hell over it.

The Post

I was sitting around talking with a friend of mine. Her name is Jessica. Jessica feels like she is overweight. Don’t get it twisted, she is not the size of Lindsey Lohan after Mean Girls, but she has a very nice shape. She looks like Star Jones circa de suction.

She sat her silly ass there complaining about a guy not liking her and her feeling like she should just kill herself. And the woman wasn’t playing. What follows are the words (some paraphrased) I told my friend and the words I’ll tell all of you.

The Words

I don’t care what’s wrong with you or how fucked up you think you are, somebody loves you! Don’t hide the things that make you you. And if you don’t like something about yourself – something that could be changed- change it for God’s sake. Stop complaining about it.

If you’re buck-tooth, chick, relax! Work hard to get those braces. If not, there’s a man on the Internet who doesn’t want anything less than a chick who can bite an apple through a picket fence.

Ladies, stop disrespecting yourself. Know that you are beautiful, magical, magnificent, and unique. Don’t try and have what those woman have in the magazines and in the videos. A lot of them are not happy while most of them are not real! Some women buy breasts. Why buy breasts when you have socks at home?LOL These model women go to the hospital for exhaustion. A real woman is made of stronger qualities than these built women. Ya’ll know what I’m talkin’ ‘bout. I know women who have 2 jobs, six kids and no man. Shit, she’s got too much to do. She’s got PTA meetings, after school functions, football practice, and white water rafting. Whatever! Man, is she exhausted! But she’s not going to the hospital for it. Hell, she can’t. Who’s going to watch the damn kids when she’s gone?! In the real world, real woman take fuckin’ naps.

Please, don’t listen to men who talk crap about your flaws when they have flaws themselves. Don’t listen to people who open their damn mouths. Their teeth are all fucked up, they say hello and tools come out. Those mother fucking people can walk into Sears and put Black & Decker’s ass out of business! They have no room to talk. So, why get all uptight about the words that come out of their boo-boo lips?

Do you realize how wonderful science is becoming? They are making pills to improve everything. Things like that make individuals unique. Those things are a rather large nose. Sarah Jessica Parker has a rather large nose, but the woman is hot ass hell, in my opinion. That makes her unique.

People are out here buying Viagra and breast implants instead of working harder on helping Alzheimer disease. Do you realize that we’ll be old with big TITS and DICKS and don’t remember what to do with them?!

That’s the end of my rant. Much love, peace and empathy!

I Starve for You, My Queen

2006-09-12T15:30:00.000-05:00

Straightaway, I starved.
Depraved of nourishment to supplement this temple.

My justification for starvation was clearly sour grapes.
I pretend to need a diet
And wash myself clean of slovenly, spotted spirits
When you are my reason.

You are my reason
For starvation.

My last two ducats lay flat in palm,
And instead of buying food to feed the hunger in my stomach
They provided a train ride to feed the rumble in my heart.

What can I say, my gentle Queen?
You feed me more.

This is a poem I felt almost compelled to write. When does love for a person, career, hobby or item become so strong that an individual will sacrifice the very things they need to live just to utilize, use or see what they have so much passion about? When does it become so strong that a person will starve, physically because they feel like they’re fed more emotionally? I think it’s a deep as theory, question or debate. I’ve gone through this before. Have you?

E-mail Advice- "How Do Gays Date?"

2006-09-11T22:53:00.000-05:00

When thinking of a new and interesting topic to post on my blog I had to reevaluate what I'd talked about and subjects that I had not touched on remotely. Then someone wrote me the most interesting e-mail I could ever receive.

Dear Terry,

What happens to people who are gay or lesbian? What type of advice can you give to them? Are we to just be thrown to the way-side when it comes to the dating life?

To this comment, I first laughed. How in the world am I to comment on the homosexual lifestyle when I don't live it. That would be like a white Jewish guy posting a blog on the hassles of the African American dating life. Would you remotely believe the shit? I don't think so. Yet, I do have associate friends who are homosexuals and I asked them a few questions. The female whom I asked... Let's call her Fellatio of the Vagina. And let's call the guy Anal Magnetism.

How Would You Describe Being Gay?

Anal Magnetism:

I wouldn't go as far as to say we feel any different then a heterosexual guy. We just have an attraction to the same sex. I find it rather natural. Something I'd like to clear up is: Just because a guy is gay doesn't mean he is going to try and screw any dude that comes his way. Just because you have a penis does not mean we want to get in between your legs.

Fellatio of the Vagina:

I can't speak for every other female in the world because I have not spoken or am other females. I know how I feel about being with other females. I love the intimacy that comes along with it. Sex is passionate and caring. Two woman in a relationship equal a calm balance. Sometimes you'll get a more masculine woman and a feminine woman together that seem almost like a regular heterosexual couple. But I feel safe with another woman.

When it comes to homosexual relationships, is it mainly based on sex?

Anal Magnetism:

Absolutely not. They first guy I had a major crush on did not have the most attractive body. In fact, he was kinda chubby. Yet, he had a beautiful heart, mind, spirit and face. Of course, men have more of a sex drive then woman, but don't think because you're in a gay relationship you're getting some every night. You'd be rudely slapped awake.

Fellatio of the Vagina:

Sex is a major part of any relationship. I never put more emphasis on sex then anything else. A relationship needs communication, compromise, sex, and romance.

I thank my two friends for sharing this information and I kept their identity secret for obvious reasons. Maybe I'll be able to get an audio interview from them both in the future. What are your opinions. Leave a comment and let us all know.

I Almost Posed Nude. Yet, It Made Me Love Myself More

2006-09-09T16:56:00.000-05:00

Yes, the title is true. I did go to a studio in order to participate in a nude painting. The beautiful news is: They only painted from my waist upward. This means the whole world would get a chance to see my ball smack and boogina.

When I first arrived to the studio, the couple (a very attractive woman and a weird man) asked me to disrobe. So, I did disrobe, like a snail. I took almost 15 minutes to get my shirt, pants, shoes and underwear off. I felt like that girl did at the end of the movie FAME (for anyone who remembers that movie).

They asked me to lay on my back on top of the pedestal. Then the woman took one foot while the man took the other and they hoisted my knees towards my chest.

"Pretty," the woman said with a smile.

"The optimum feature are the lips, while the ass hole is nonpareil I believe we should focus on the face."

I'm thinking, who uses words like optimum and nonpareil in everyday sentences?

When I was told, I quickly put my pants on, feeling like I was violated. They asked me if I felt uncomfortable and if I felt like I wouldn't want my shirt to be off.

I look at 'em and say, "HELL, You just saw all my goods, I think a missing shirt wont be too bad!"

They painted two portraits of me today. Once was an enlarged portrait of my face and the other was a small portrait of my face and upper torso. They (the paintings) came out pretty good. I was just excited that my ass and balls wouldn't be hanging in some gallery with all my friends walking past like, "now I know what he's packing."

I can't exclude the other comments I received:

You are a tiny man with a large dick!

You have a very nice ass. Such a small waist with a big round ass.

Very nice features.

We love the chin! Yes, we love Terry's chin.

Shut up, you handsome whore!

Well, that's the information for today. I have created a moment like the one from Titanic, except there was no sexing going down. Until the next post, much love, peace and empathy.

E-mail Advice- "I Hate My Parents. Why?"

2006-09-07T12:37:00.000-05:00

I was busy trying to conduct an interview, write and edit a piece I am currently working on, hence the reason why this email advice is being put on the website so late. Below you will first read the questioner’s e-mail and my response will follow.

Dear Expression,

I know that this is website about relationships and I am happy that I found it. My name is Sheila and I’m a 16 year old from Bedford, Michigan. I think that I am mature for my age. I am your normal type of girl. I like to go to the movies, out to the mall and blah blah blah. Anywayz. It kinda hurts me when I go to the mall and I aint got money. My mother doesn’t go to work. She stays at home and gets child support from dad. I don’t even know where he is. My question is what is the feeling if you don’t love your parents? And is that wrong?

Sheila

Sheila,

When I first read this e-mail I was excited that someone around the age of sixteen read my blog. It also terrified me, in that I have more of a responsibility towards keeping my blog posititve. But, I am an individual and I will always remain real. So, if you want real, here it goes:

Normal Life

Growing up, I was a middle class child. I never had to want for a damn thing. I had new clothes on my back almost every 5 to six months and a new toy everyday. My father was a construction worker and my mother worked in some factory downtown. Together they brought in a good estimated 2,500.00 dollars a week.

Real Life

When I turned 9 ½ that all changed. My mother quit working and got on Social Security. My father just stopped working construction all together. We were forced to leave our home and move to a smaller one. It wasn’t that bad because it was right around the corner and I could continue going to the same school.

For the next two years, we lived poor. Sometimes our lights, water and phone would be turned off all in the same month. I endured the embarrassment of walking into a store with a handful of food stamps, getting laughed at. Yet, I knew most of them were on welfare as well.

My parents would constantly give up my room to strangers, causing me to sleep on the living room couch or floor for months. This was until we (my family and I) moved to California. There I suffered neglect from my father, beatings from the local kids, peer pressure, accusations that I molested a young boy, people dying because I trusted them with information and a plethora of other events. This broke me down, causing me to loose faith in God. I begin to practice witchcraft and other forms of pagan ritual in order to “change my life.”

My father would steal my mothers Social Security check and run off to do God’s knows what and my mother and I would starve together at home. But at least I had someone to starve with.

After two years of drugs, sex, death and neglect, we couldn’t stand the pain any more and decided to move back to our home town. Once we moved back, my father came running behind us and ended persuading my mother to move into a four unit apartment.

Apartment on Glenwood Street

This was pure hell. I sleep in a room that was actually added on from the kitchen. The blue carpet was dirty and the floor slanted downward, causing the cot I slept on to flip upwards many nights while I slept. The room was smaller than a bathroom, yet I tried to manage. This is when I lost all trust in my parents, especially my father. There is nothing worse then having a parent around you everyday, yet they are never around.

I would go to school all day, then go to dance rehearsals and have to walk home only to find my father on the couch flipping through cable stations. I cried many nights when my mother would come home from work, fix dinner, and make my father’s plate first and make it the largest, causing me to have the smallest portions and not be able to get seconds. I went to sleep hungry many nights. It was like my parents were for struggling with one another and not loving their child.

Plenty of times my parents would yell for me to ask my aunt or grandmother for CLOTHES, SHOES, FOOD, CHRISTMAS TOYS or anything else. They would rather sit on their asses and complain then work hard to take care of their child. It hurt for years and it still hurts to this day.

Today

My parents have no phone, struggle to pay bills and the only time they call me or my 3 siblings is when they want money. On my birthday or any holiday, I must call THEM in order to speak with them. Yet, when they want money, they find a phone to call me. Times I go and visit usually consists of greetings like this:

Terry- Hey ma, hey dad.

Ma- I need some money!

I wont receive a hi or a hug. I won’t receive a polite, “How is everything going.” It’s just a command of money transfer. And though it’s sad and I could hate them, I think about the things they DID do for me and how I owe them for that. You only get one mother and father and you want to leave this earth knowing you didn’t treat them how they treated you.

My point of telling you my life was to let you know that there can be love behind the mental abuse and neglect. Hell, my mother has been married to my father for 22 years and he mentally abuses her everyday. They used to fist fight. He would chase my mother around the church pews with me in her arms. While chasing her he’d be cursing, and slamming pews around. This all happened in the house of God around so many people. Image how embarrassed my mother was. I can’t get super mad at her because she goes through so much stress everyday because of my father and there is something there that is making her stay. Maybe that it love. Because she could hate him, you know? LOL.

Keep your head up, child. That dark cloud always has a silver lining. Things get better. And if life with your folks is hell, you can create your own life once you’re old enough to leave. Start learning how to pay bills now, register for college, or get a part-time job and work on creating you own life. Continue to love your parents because everyone makes mistakes. God will deal with those things; you work on loving and understand that YOU create your life. When you were a child your parents created one for you. There can be a difference. I hope I inspired you to think positively and reply back to me if you need anymore advice. Much love, peace and empathy.

As always, if you have any suggestions or comments, please reply in a comment form. Or you can ask a question yourself my sending your query to mmecca2000@hotmail.com.

If you'd like to read the other e-mail advice, please click on one of the links below=

Email Advice- “Punch Her in the Face!”

E-mail Advice- “Cheating”

Sincerely,

Terry J. Snipes

How To Share Yourself

2006-08-30T15:03:00.000-05:00

Harry is out with his buddies at the bowling alley. He has on his bowling jacket, bowling shoes and a broad smile. He is happy for more than one reason:

1. he's with his friends

2. he's bowling

3. he's away from the "old ball and chain"

When I first moved in with my mate, I was extremely excited about the move. I couldn't wait to share my life with the woman I loved. But as all things in life, I received something that I didn't expect. It was far from easy and we fought all of the time during the first few months of moving in with one another.

"Terry, will you ever sweep the floor?" she'd scream at me. I'd yell back a few weeks later, "why do you always leave your heels right in front of the doors?" It seems as if all we did was fight and argue. It got to the point where we started telling each other that we were falling out of love. When a couple begins to say this then something is dreadfully wrong.

The subject of this blog entry begins with a question- as most of my blog entries do. That question is:

How do you share yourself?

This might not seem like a hard question to answer if you'd met a wonderful human being who you've lived with and understand the struggles of sharing your life. But to those of you who are living alone and don't realize the stress, love, bliss and pain of the situation, sit down and take note!

There a few things in which I believe every couple should keep in mind they just marry or move in with each other. Some people are extremely old fashion to the point where they believe a couple shouldn't move in together until they marry. I, on the other hand, believe that the old school way is buried and has turned to dust. With the economy like it is, most people like to room up with someone to help pay the rent anyway. So, if you are moving in with someone (if you're in a romantic relationship), these are some things to consider...

1. Space

a) Give each other space. At first it will seem like you are
supposed to be in each other's faces all of the time, but
this couldn't be further from the truth. Every couple needs
to have alone time. And alone time when taking a number 2
is not what I'm speaking of.

2. Compromise

a) You must understand that a relationship without compromise
is like being 99/1 instead of 50/50.

b) If you love someone, you want to make them happy. How do
you show someone you love them if you never make an attempt
to take the uncomfortable seat to please them. Romance
doesn't make itself, people. People make romance. Once the
romance in a romantic relationship dies, so does the
relationship itself.

c) Be understanding to your mates requests. Even if you don't
fully understand, it means a lot if you take the time out
to shut up and listen. Sometime paying attention is enough.

3. Time

a) Just as you should give your mate space, you should also
devote time to them. Lots of couplesdestroy their
relationship by putting too much focus on work or a hobby.
Don't get it twisted,I know how it is to want to make that
paper. My "spouse" wants to be a business woman. She's all
about making the dough. Yet, she knows that "we" need time.

b) If you have children, time is more important. You not only
have to spend time with your mate,you have to spend time
with your children and then with both your mate and
children at the same time. Yes, this could seem very
difficult when you balance work, hobbies, yourself and all
the stresses of life. My motto is: family first, work
second. This always words out.

4. Romance

a) This is the most important one. If you don't incorporate
this one, your relationship is as good as dead. Not every
couple spends every second of every day romantically
kissing, hugging and loving their mate. A romantic gesture
once a week, or month could do wonders. It take effort.

b) There is no way around the fact that the romance will die
off. You will spend time with each other once a week
kissing and loving and sending flowers and cards. Soon,
(maybe after 2 months of living with one another) that
starts to wear off and you find that the love aspect is by
feeling and emotions and less shown through actions.

c) Though you see your romance snowballing, try and find a way
to fit it in. Each mate should think in terms of surprise.
Don't just wait until the anniversary to bestow love upon
each other. Granite, a lot of people can't be "lovey-dovey"
every day 24/7, 365 days of the year. But more than hardly
ever will do the trick.

If you have any funny or interesting stories of you and you mate finding a connection while sharing space, please leave a comment. I'd love to head about it. And so would all of the readers. Until next time, much love, peace and empathy.

Terry J. Snipes

Visit my other blogs:

Share Love

Stigmatic Words

Rose's Story: Domestic Violence

2006-08-29T20:46:00.000-05:00

The text below, so strategically placed in black surrounded my white is the e-mail in which I received from Rose Starkley-Mason. This is her courageous story about survival through an overly abusive relationship. It touched me more than words normally do (and I'm a writer). Though she doesn't speak in fancy metaphors or put together poetic sentences, her message is given and that's all that counts. To Rose, I've heard you and I hope the world does as well.

Terry J. Snipes

Terry Snipes,

What can I say? When I first stumbled across your website and realized that it wasn't the same "find him" type of topics I knew I should write you about this subject. It seems like you get many interested readers to your blog and I most certainly have become one of them. This is why I would like to share a story with you. I know your website says content may be published so I am giving you all control to publish this e-mail. Please forgive me if it is not written in the greatest of prose. I am not a writer. I am a reader. lol.

My husband, Thomas Starkley took my hand in marriage on July 15, 1990. We were destined to be together. He was 30 and I was 22. I'd just come out of college with an associate's degree in Criminal Justice (which I never used).

Life with him was pure bliss for all of one year. He was always a light drinker and that didn't affect me much. Hell my father liked to have a drink every now and then as well. I must admit, sometimes he would make passionate love after he was drunk.

One day he got fired from his job. He is an electrician and a damn good one if I may say so myself. He was getting drunk as usual. Wild Rose was his favorite. It was always strong on his breath and I found myself slowly becoming un-attracted to him.

After about a month of neither of us bringing in any money, we got evicted from our home. THe bank snatched it from out under our noses. The house was in Thomas' name, but as married people know, what's his debt is my debt. My husband filed bankruptcy and we moved into an apartment on the south side of town. Around this time I got pregnant with my first girl, Atina. This is when my husband began to leave at around 6 in the evening and not come back until 5 the next morning. There were plenty of nights that I cried my eyes out. I was pregnant, alone, horny, lonely and in pain.

6 out of the 9 months I was alone during my pregnancy. Luckily he made it to the hospital to see the birth of her girl. four months later and I was pregnant again. He kept yelling for me to get an abortion. I wouldnt do it. I am most certainly not pro choice because I've always believed a child should live. That night he beat me with the butt of his gun. I do believe he tried to kill my unborn baby that night.

The beating I received caused complications and I ended up in labor 5 months before the baby was due. I stayed in the hospital for a while having labor pains. It was the most horrible experience. Of course my husband was no where in sight at this time. My mother and my best friend Mike were at the hospital almost every day.

When I had my second child and came home, the house was a wreck and Thomas was drunk. After putting Atina to bed Thomas slapped me and kicked my stomach until I felt like it was bleeding inside. Yet this was not the most severe beating I would receive.

After this the years went by as routine. It was pretty much beatings, cleaning, raising children, beatings, cleaning, cooking, sex (rape), cleaning... on and on and on. The kids and I were forced from house to apartment whenever Thomas would get fired from a job for coming drunk or failing a surprise drug test. I finally decided to get a part-time job. Thomas didn't agree with women working so I started off sneaking. When I'd talk to Mike about it he would tell me I was the female version of James Bond. I'd sneak and plan schedules just perfect for me to go to work while the kids were at school.

By the age of 32 I'd been beating numerous times in numerous places for numerous reasons. His food was cold, I got beat. I didnt groan loud enough during sex, He'd punch my vagina. Now contrary to what people believe, if a strong man punches a woman's vagina it WILL HURT.

I'd successfully kept the beatings away from my two girls for years. After a while they began to see and cry on the staircase or behind closed doors. When Thomas would leave they'd come into the room I was in with towels and clean up.

Mike and my mother tried calling the police and putting me into battered women's shelters but I always refused. The reason why is because after beating me Thomas would simmer down and treat my like a Queen. Yup, there was a catch. For the first year or so it was devastating. After a while it became second nature. When my friends and some co-workers looked at me with disbelief I would return the look. It was almost like I was saying WHAT? This doesnt happen to you?

In the winter of 1999 was when I'd had my last beating. Though he would still abuse me mentally. I was outside with my girls talking to Mike. He would often invite me and the girls over to sit and talk. On this particular day I'd forgot to set Thomas' food in the oven and instead set it on the table. How could I have forgotten? I dont know. In the middle of a wonder December day Thomas comes rolling his Chevy on Mike's lawn. He pulled out a gun waving it at Mike. I could tell he was very drunk. It didnt make matters better when Mike shouted things at Thomas. All of this things he said was true but it provoked Thomas. He shot at Mike nearly hitting one of our girls. We got in the house safely and called the police. The girls were so shook up we started taking them to therapy.

The story doesnt end like a Hallmark movie. When I divorced Thomas in 2001 it was very difficult to live or breathe. Though I hated the beatings it was all I knew. I found myself even looking Thomas up on the Internet to find where he was. I was determined to run to him. I'd received so many messages on my cell phone from him stating he loved me and he was sorry. He called me an evil bitch for keeping his children away from him. It hurt. I cried many nights.

One particular night I almost got hit my several cars when I met up with Thomas at a local bar and tried to crack a bottle over my head. Here I am stumbling into the street, blood in my eyes screaming the words I love you.

I'm not fully over my husband or the incidents. I have been single for 4 years. I just started dating a new man and I find myself extremely violent with him. I instantly began to fight him. I know it's wrong that I take my frustrations out on him. It's sad that he must suffer my my ex husband's mistakes. I don't know when I'll ever fully get over it. But the lives of my children, friends and myself was at stake. Though I crave the love and crazily, the beating of Thomas (thats all I've known), I know this is for the best. Thanks for reading this email. And may God bless you.

Email Poems:"Unanswered Love"

2006-08-29T19:02:00.000-05:00

Below is an e-mail sent to me by Sushi (LOL). I really loved this poem and decided to publish it. Though it's not like I've been having sworms of peoms coming in. I hope you enjoy it.

Terry J. Snipes

Unanswered Love

I have tried love in many positions.
Love has been freaky with me
As well as romantic.

What is love without romance?
What is life without love?
What is a question without an answer?

I could have a million dollars
And a million pearls.
I could receive a private rocket ship
To travel around the world.
But if I can not answer this one question:

Do I have love?

Then I have nothing at all.

Tashawna "Sushi" Hicks

The Subject of Domestic Violence

2006-08-27T16:00:00.000-05:00

Many people will see a woman ( or have a friend) come in to work with large sunglasses on. The sky is gray and the weather doesn't warrant shading of any sun from the eyes. Co-workers look at her like, "this bitch is a diva!" or "She's crazy!" But what they don't realize, until the head manager tells her to 86 the shades, that she has a black eye.

People will question, why in the hell does she stay with a guy who beats her. Well, an empirical test of traumatic bonding theory, the notion that strong emotional attachments are formed by intermittent abuse, was reported by many doctors. You think to yourself, THIS DOESN'T SEEM POSSIBLE! Then you tell yourself, IF ANY MAN HIT ME HE'D BE TAKING A LONG RIDE TO THE MORGUE IN A HEARSE!

Yet, In-depth assessments (interviews plus questionnaires) were conducted on 75 women who had recently left abusive relationships, 50 where physical violence had occurred. The study found support for the effect of relationship dynamic factors such as extremity of intermittent maltreatment and power differentials on long-term felt attachment for a former partner, experienced trauma symptoms, and self-esteem, immediately after separation from an abusive partner and again after a six month interim.

But the main question that surrounds this blog entry is: How does one get away from the abusive relationship?

Battered women usually undergo several shifts in their thinking about the abuse before leaving permanently. A stress-process framework is used to explain the seemingly paradoxical finding that some women just out of the abusive relationship may have greater psychological difficulties than those who are still in it. Think about it. If all you know is pain caused by the hands of a misogynistic, drunk or mentally deranged man, you don't know quit how to live without it. And for those experiencing the most stress, psychological health can worsen over time. Society, researchers and doctors need to pay more attention to the plight of women who have left abusive partners.

I personally believe if a woman gets enough of getting the crap beat out of her, she'll leave. But there in lies the problem. What if she wants to leave and is too scared? Do we leave this woman in this situation and wait for her to be severely beaten or killed?

There are plenty of avenues for battered women to turn to. But I must say, and this may cause problems, woman who are ready to come out of the situation, will. Those women who are not sure of feel as though they "love" they man that is beating them will keep running back to him constantly because she believe that is the only place for her to go. God forbid there are children involved.

The truth is that women need to develop the nerve to leave on their own. Just the same as a drug addict going to rehab. You can spend tons of money in a place like that but if that person is not yet ready to stop then they will keep looking for the drugs. This is a sad thing to say, and I'm not writing this post as a doctor. I am writing this post as a man who has had friends in abusive relationships. It's best to wait until she is fed up, then help her. It might seem like negligence, but it aint. She will continue to go back to the same bullshit(if she's not ready to end it) until she dies or is put in the hospital. Sometimes, the hardest way is the best.

Woman who are experiencing physical or mental abuse from your mate, please click on the link below to get more information and help. If you know of someone who is going through this, please direct them towards the light by clicking Abused Adult Resource Center. Much love, peace and empathy to all.

Technorati tags:domestic violence, relationships, love

E-mail Advice-"punch her in the face!"

2006-08-24T15:40:00.000-05:00

I have finally built up a readership at my blog big enough to attract reader's question via e-mail. For the past week I've gotten e-mails from people eager to receive information in regards to their love life, life or relationships (be it boyfriend/girlfriend/family member/friend). Below is the very first e-mail that I received.

From : King***@hotmail,com
Sent : Wednesday, August 20, 2006 9:25 AM
To :
Subject : punch her in the face!

Expression,

I have been reading your blog for some time now. Maybe about 4 monts. I admire what you have 2 say and the way you say em. This is the thing, dude. My girlfriend is always fucking nagging me to death. I wanna punch her in the face sometimes. Turns out the other day when she kept whinning, I pushed her so hard she fell on the floor and hit her head and was knocked out. I aint a violent dude I just want her to shut the hell up for a day. Advice?

Fed up guy

What's up Fed Up Guy?

Well, first I'd suggest playing karate with a tree outside. Get a punching bag or go to your local gym, put on some gloves and have at it. Just don't punch, hit or push a female like that. Men are a tad stronger than women, and you know that they can call the police and yell, "Man! Hit!" And the cops are there as quick as a porno star pulls his pants down and whips out his... Magic stick?

The best thing to do is let her scream and holler. Yes, that is the best thing to do. Let her scream her head off and get all the sh*t she has to say out. Have you ever seen a movie where the hero has to fight lots and lots of villains and when he gets to the BIG BOSS he is warn out. This gives the BOG BOSS more of an upper hand in winning the battle. The same goes for letting her speak the wind out of her lungs.

When she has finished, politely tell her how you feel. Don't scream or get an attitude and for God's sake, DON'T IGNORE HER and treat the situation like it's not important. Tell her that whatever she is nagging you about can be worked out. But she has to work on organizing a time and place to speak about her problems. You are only human and you can't be perfect.

Now, this is where things get a little tricky. If she doesn't hear a word you say and she continues to yell and not compromise in regards to how you feel, even though you respected her by listening, tell her that you feel insulted. Oh yeah. This throws women off when men open up and show emotion. Even if you could care less as to whether she cares if you are insulted or hurt. This is a nicer way of saying, "you're really pissing me the hell off."

Women pretend like their Gods and they don't know when to apologize, but when they have fights with family or friends and they know they are wrong they will apologize. When they discover they are uncompromising, rude and very insensitive towards your feelings, she will know she's to blame, though she wont admit that. Most men feel like it's their responsibility to say 'sorry' even if it's not their fault. I think that's bullshit. After stating what you have to say, get up and leave. Don't leave as if you're mad. Leave as if you are hurt, frustrated and devastated.

Don't stay gone too long. Just walk around the block or take a short drive. Come back and if she has calmed down, don't say anything about the situation. This means she's sorry, though she won't say those words. If she is still angry about the situation, I hate to say this, but it's time to let her go. If your relationship is reduced to her being unhappy with you every day of the week you need to ask yourself, "why are we together?" Tough choice, but you guys have reached the tipping point. It's either WORK IT OUT or GIVE IT UP.

Now, you should approach the situation how you feel. You don't have to do everything that I just suggested above. These are only suggestions. Keep me posted on how things turn out and I hope everything goes well. Much love, peace and empathy to the both of you.

Technorati tags:advice, nagging, love

Palpable Pain Caused By Lonliness

2006-08-24T14:55:00.000-05:00

Press Play to Start Podcast

When it comes to loneliness it seems like the pain can be unbearable. Singer/songwriter India.Arie even has a song on her new album about learning how to take her loneliness and turn it into a time to bond with herself. I think this is a beautiful way to look at the situation.

There was a time when I was living alone in a studio apartment. I didn't have cable or basic television. All I did was sit in this apartment with my thoughts, a pen and paper. I thought of different stories and I read my ass off. After awhile I naturally started to pity myself. I felt so alone and pathetic. It seemed as if no one wanted to speak to me and I had no one to call, see or communicate with. Junkies and crack fiends surrounded the apartment complex I lived in and it was a really hard time.

When I was driving down the street tonight and saw a young lady, walking slowly by herself, who looked to be the loneliest woman on the face of the earth, it got me to thinking about the situation that I was once in. I felt loneliness as if through osmosis. This audio blog contains my feelings during that particular time.

If anyone has a story or comment that relates to this subject, please don't hesitate to leave a comment. Thanks. Until the next blog entry about love, relationships, life and dating, Love, peace and empathy.

Technorati tags:lonliness, podcast, love

E-mail Advice-"Cheating"

2006-08-24T14:24:00.000-05:00

Someone wrote me a touching e-mail the other day about cheating and how it effects the mental state of a person. Below I have posted the e-mail that this individual sent me and I'll discuss the situation in further detail.

From :
Marsha ***** <******@yahoo.org>
Sent :
Monday, August 21, 2006 11:09 AM
To :
"Terry Snipes"
Subject :
RE: Cheating

Dear Poetiq Expression,

I am cheating on my boyfriend. We have been together for almost 6 years. That is a long time right? I have been dating him since I was 20. I came right out of high school and in to college dating him. I'd never been with any other man in my life. After a while, I got the impression that he was cheating on me. I knew he was. I could smell the other woman on her. After a while of going through this, I went to his house to surprise him. I must admit I was snooping as well. I knocked for over a half an hour. He never opened the door. I know this sounds crazy, but I stayed in my car to wait until he came home, even though his car was parked in his drive-way. When the door did open at 2:16 in the morning, a tall handsome African American man walked out. I'm pretty sure that was not my Irish/Italian boyfriend. The guy walked down the street, close to where my car was and waited for the bus. I still can believe it. The tears are trying to come and I keep fighting them. I've tried so hard to keep this relationship together and it seems like whatever I do he wants to be with someone else. Yet when I suggest we split up he tells me he doesn't want to loose me and that we can work things out. He cries and begs and I take him back because I feel he loves me. Deep in my heart I know it's a lie. So my boyfriend is a (could be) a bisexual lying cheat who is too afraid to tell me. I want to kill him. What should I do?

Marsha

Marsha,

Well, Marsha, the first thing you shouldn't do is kill him. Number one, that's wrong and number two, you'll end up in jail for a long time over a guy who'd rather get himself deep in shit (literally) than be honest and truthful with you.

The irony of the whole subject is: Love 'aint perfect! Deal with it, honey. I had a female who I was very involved in. I thought things would work out between us. I shared her goals and pushed her towards them as best as I could. In the end I found out that she was not only screwing the entire city, she also was having an affair with my second cousin!

I had to look myself in the mirror and tell myself to move on. My method was different than most people's method. I looked in that damn mirror and I laughed my ass off. Now, by this point you might think I'm crazy. No, I'm not. If I didn't laugh I might have been quoting the same bulls**t you were just saying at the end of your e-mail.

No man is worth going to jail or putting yourself through all this stress. Did you know that stress is one major cause of heart attacks and strokes? It's not healthy to put all of your attention into something is most definitely disintegrating. You can't hold on to it, toots. If he doesn't want to stay, you can't make him. And though he begs you to work it out, that's not fair to you. Why should he be able to have his cake and eat it to? Are you supposed to smell other men/or women every night he comes home just to stay in a relationship? Hell naw!

You are far more important. Pick that jaw up, wipe that pathetic look off of your face and move on, It's not easy but it will get easier. God gave you someone who loved you and cared for you- at least in the beginning- he can always bring you someone else. Someone better. Have faith in yourself. I will pray about your situation and hopefully things turn out okay. Keep me posted. And thanks for sharing your problems with the readers. It's very brave of you.

Terry J. Snipes

Technorati tags:advice, cheating, love

I Believe...

2006-08-14T13:55:00.000-05:00

I’d like you to take the time and finish this sentence:

I believe…

I would really like to see what it is that people believe in. What drives them to keep trying and not give up even though all signs point to failure? This is the basis of all our “American” movies. This is the hope that we live on. This is the testament that there is more to humanity than greed, sloth, envy, and war.

I believe…

It’s amazing how I’ve just written and you’ve just read two words that invoke such thought, question and understanding of “self” in a world so quick to regurgitate the past instead of reshape the future.

I’ve even notices how children seem to spark the light inside of use that projects the very essence of belief. Where does this come from? And after so long of searching for a meaning, where does it eventually go?

I know that believing is only 50% of causing change, success or failure. I was told that 10% is taken from any action during the transition to a reaction. So, if you put in 70% and 10% is taken off because of the transition you’re left with 60%. That doesn’t leave a lot of room for a strong reaction, does it? But if you put in 110% and 10% is taken off from the transition, you’re left with 100%. That is a lot of room to cause a positive reaction.

So, the question is: What do you believe?

My answer to this question:

I believe… Period.

Technorati tags:believe, discussion, love

Career or Love? Tough Choice

2006-08-07T09:00:00.000-05:00

When it comes to career and love, which one is the greatest? I look at celebrities who have wonderful careers but never spend any time with their mates. I suppose this is the reason why so many famous relationships break up. For the first few months occasional phone calls are great, but what happens when that physical itch needs to be scratched and your lover isn't there to take care of it?

A friend of mine has a dream of going to Chicago to pursue her goal of becoming a fashion editor or fashion consultant. Or maybe it was a fashion designer. She changes it up so much, I think she's a career chameleon. You know, those people who have a different career every day. The point of the matter is, she plans on going to school to pursue her dream which is FASHION. This is when we hear the dreaded, DUH DUH DUM DUM DUM theme. Her "dating" partner (she is too scared to commit and call him a boyfriend) wants to move to New York and chase his dream of acting. Now, let me add this up here.

New York + Chicago= DISTANCE!!!!!

I would never tell my friend to abandon her dream just to stay in a relationship that might not work out. I would always encourage her to stay in love with her career goal. Though you receive lots of BS from it and sometimes you don't want to be bothered with it, you still need it to feel complete at the end of the day. You can always pursue your dreams and find some way to live them out (unless you want to be Bill Gates, Donald Trump or Warren Buffet... then you might as well get rich or be content on staying poor).

But the flip side to this story is the fact that my friend has been searching for love and a relationship for a long time now. She is about to turn 22 and has never been in a serious physical relationship. She has never been able to go over a boyfriend's house when something was on her mind or she just needed someone to be close with. This is something that she has been waiting for since all of her other friends were dating and she doesn't want to let the opportunity pass her by. I told her that she has been watching the movie 8 Mile too much. Opportunities in love are no different than opportunities in careers except one thing:

THAT CAREER CHOICE CAN'T CHOOSE TO LEAVE OR DIVORCE YOU! You have to make that decision. It's all on a person's passion and drive for something they want that doesn't have it's own mind, spirit and choices.

I had to let her know that love is a beautiful thing, and if she feels like they are ready to move in together then they have to decide who is going where. Chicago and New York harbor opportunities in the arts. Yet, if she feels like he is not someone who she wants to be with for a long time then she needs to do her and move on. If God brought one he sure the hell can bring another one. And though it might seem like a really hard choice, it isn't. If the sun don't shine, the sun don't shine.

What would you tell your friend to do?

V for Victory!

2006-08-03T14:40:00.000-05:00

I've just seen the movie V for Vendetta and I believe it was one of the most interesting movies that I've seen this year. It's so nice when Hollywood can produce something in which Americans can relate to as well as be entertained by.

The story is about V and how he goes up against the new "government." The leadership of the chancellor reminds me eerily of Adolph Hitler.

This movie is great because it teaches us, or better yet reminds- us to stand up for what we believe in. If we stand up for ourselves and stop fearing then we are showing that we love ourselves as well as our country. I think everyone should at least try and go out to see this movie. They do have it out on DVD now so you can rent it or go and buy it if you'd prefer. Thanks!